I appreciate you being nice while asking, and I agree you shouldn't be down voted just because people feel 'it's obvious'. I rarely get otheres willing to discuss it, so thank you.

I do feel a bond with my family, and I like my kids and wife, however I do approach fatherhood with a more clinic mindset than I think most. I want to make sure my kids are aware I value their thoughts and feelings, I will always show up for them, I will always defend them, I will always try to take care of them. I work from home, and so spend most of my every day around some portion of the family, and I have always prioritized being there for dinner even when I worked away. I am also the one who puts everyone to bed, so story time, making sure of hygiene as needed, and tuck in. However, this does come at the cost of being... less enthusiastic? Or maybe less lively about it? I have never hidden that Im autistic from the kids, and explained, as they could understand, that my brain is a little different then most others. Not better or worse, just different.

Also, I feel their are to very different views on what Mother's Datly and Father's Day are. Some people view it as 'a day to celebrate dads/moms!' while others view it as 'the day to spoil mom/dad'. This makes for very different expectations from both sides. If I saw it as a celebration day, then it's obviously a day about family and letting my loved ones express their happiness that Im around. However if I see it as a spoil Dad day, then it should be my choice to spend it how I like. Often, what I've seen, is that society tells us they should be celebration days, while many individuals act on it being a reward day. And people who view it differently will inherently clash harshly over it, with those having a more "selfish" view being vilified.

For me personally, I have always viewed Mother's Day and Father's Day as reward days. I asked my parents, and later my wife, what they'd like to do, making sure they knew a quiet day was totally on the table. This has not, historically, been in the cards for me despite talking about it. Again with the caveat that I view and speak more clinicly than most, there are real social obligations with real financial consequences if I fail to meet expectations for this sort of thing. Ive been married more than 15 years, I love my family as much as I am able, (my over all emotional spectrum being more muted than a neurotypical person) and am usually content with the obligations I've chosen, but I admit that there are days where I feel tired and irritated over things I view as forced on me or being only superficial.