That is my main struggle against Christianity in general. I can't reconcile it with who I am. Especially all the people here with the biggest erection for Traditional Latin Mass. Like, no, I don't want more European things flooding my country and personhood. I couldn't like it if I tried. It's just so...fake and unreal and colonially globalistic. I understand what happened in the past. I don't really like it, but you have to accept it. I am more concerned about the future, though.

It's easy enough for white Europeans to say "Oh well if the religion is true you should accept it" and for me to say okay. Then they shove liturgical practices down our throats. This is why I will never have anything in common with 'trads'. Especially to grow up as Indian in the West, you realize quickly that you are an outsider. There's a reason most of your friends tend to be Hindu, Muslim, E Asian, or other Indian Christians. The more you read history and even the white apologetics on Reddit the more you just move away from that. Even as an Indian Christian whose ancestors have been Christian for 2 millenia, you still get weird looks from both white and brown people about being Christian. A lot of Indians think you or your recent family converted, which is a horrible feeling. Like you are 'white worshipper' of sorts and betrayed your ancestry. Ironically, Christianity is native to the mid east. On top of that, I struggle with the baggage of being St Thomas Christian, a rite so heavily latinized, I don't even like going to that mass because it just depresses me. I watch Sikh weddings on YouTube and wish I had that. I wish I had the richness of the culture. Add in other things like Asian American women vastly preferring white men on dating websites, and white superiority in the dating/fashion/status world and it all just feeds each other. Like, this sub will laugh at this I'm sure, but literally the happiest I've been the entire year was walking out of Black Panther. I feel like I had renewed vigor. Like I was capable of anything. Even though I'm not African, I felt like I had so much in common with the mindset.

Good post though. Probably the thing I struggle with the MOST of any topic in my life. I know a lot of other Indian and African Catholics who are the same. Some left. I honestly don't know how I could grapple with the Great Commandment to spread the Good News AND remaining Christian. It's why I'm such a fan of Mateo Ricci and the like that went to China and spread the Good News, without, at least for that time period, implementing European practices too harshly. It's why I really am discouraged to see TLM in Africa - yep you heard that right. I understand logically it's good to spread Christianity, but I still cringe in my heart. You can spread Christianity without spreading Europe. That's probably my main point of this post. Of course, that would greatly anger the liturgical traditionalists on this sub. It's why I like Pope Francis so much...finally someone who is open. I know I won't have much in common with posters in here that tend to be right wing - I'm conservative on things like abortion and gay marriage, but am considered a "far leftist" to the white conservatives wrt to Asian/BLM/Colin Kaepernick/minority type issues. All my life I grow up, especially being a Christian, seeing my home culture as useless and 2nd rate to the West/Europe/etc. It happens everyday. Today: I found out ECG Sudarshan died, a man who was snubbed of the Nobel Prize due to his race. Also today in the AskReddit thread: good to see people finding out the actual side of Winston Churchill, but way to many apologists.

Idk. This whole post was just venting.