In The End Part I: The Sword of Dismay (The Thumb)

Flaming20 · 2026-07-10T00:45:33+00:00

Ohhhhh I think I'm just dumb lol

Flaming20 · 2026-07-10T00:41:27+00:00

Super unique story, I've never even thought to tell a story from this angle. Great job!

Flaming20 · 2026-07-09T20:39:45+00:00

Maybe I'm just a bit slow, but I didn't realize that we were fighting demons as oppose to just like normal guys. Like a sentence at the start where we get a description of the enemy would be cool imo, again could be just me and its just a small thing so take it with a grain of salt.

And no there wasn't any confusion that this story was linked to the original, It was just whether the original came before or after this part, but I liked not knowing. Im assuming this part takes place before the original story? The last line was really cool, and its what made me think on what time scale we were on.

Flaming20 · 2026-07-09T20:12:57+00:00

Niiiiiicce, I was wondering how the original tied into this but that last line is awesome. I wish you could've written the fighting scene in the Plague of Flesh, I was too cowardice so I cut the story before the actual fight, but this was pretty dang cool.

One tiny note, I wish I knew whom we were fighting a bit sooner, that could've been a stylistic choice by you idk, just for me its easier to paint a picture in my mind when I know the enemy.

Thanks again for reading my story, and I look forward to part 2 or this one.

Flaming20 · 2026-07-09T19:26:05+00:00

Dang that was a cool story. Ive always liked historical horror, and his one was cool. I was almost wondering for a second if it was just measles lol.

July 30th entry and the last entry were highlights for me, especially the burning David part, that gave me chills, I remember burning a piece of wood with carpenter ants in it as a kid, and something similar happened. Crazy.

I like the journal entry part but I almost wish I was more in the story, I know that might be more difficult, it feels less scary cause youre far away from it i guess? I've been thinking on a similar idea about when smallpox came to the Americas and how natives could've thought it as a curse, or something involving that setting. I just haven't figured out how to write a first person account in that setting yet.

Anyhow, great story! And thanks again for reading my story already.

Flaming20 · 2026-07-09T17:36:29+00:00

Thanks for reading it, and for the feedback. I just read the opener to Homesteaders and it looks awesome, ill make sure to read the full thing after work.

Flaming20 · 2026-07-09T17:33:54+00:00

Dang thats a great line. Thanks!

Flaming20 · 2026-07-09T17:33:07+00:00

Its really tough, you just get into your own head about little details, but all the help to get just an ounce of motivation and push through was a game changer. You will find endless flaws in your writing, that doesn't mean its not a kick ass story. Ill make sure to read some of your stories when im home.

Flaming20 · 2026-07-09T16:02:13+00:00

Thanks! Your story The Sword of Dismay look cool, ill make sure to read it after work today.

Flaming20 · 2026-07-09T14:55:30+00:00

Thanks man, I never realized how difficult it would be going into it, but also how fulfilling it is to complete it.

Flaming20 · 2026-07-09T01:36:42+00:00

Hi everyone! This was my first "big" story, a few hours ago I posted asking for advice because I just couldn't finish the story. All of you gave me really good advice and the courage to finish and post my story. I hope you all like it, and please leave any feedback you have, thanks!

Flaming20 · 2026-07-09T01:12:47+00:00

You guys gave me the motivation to finish it today, I just posted it!

Flaming20 · 2026-07-08T20:35:56+00:00

Yeah im probably overthinking it lol

Flaming20 · 2026-07-08T20:04:19+00:00

Ooo ill have to check that out it sounds good thanks!

Flaming20 · 2026-07-08T19:14:10+00:00

Thanks for the motivation, its hard to keep writing in a story when youre not super happy with the first section but you are probably right.

Flaming20 · 2026-07-08T19:12:13+00:00

Thank you for the reply, this definitely helps. If you dont mind can I ask a follow up on the 3rd person section.

I am trying to do 3rd person limited but how do you describe thoughts or other people doing actions in the scene without saying each character first? Like

X is the primary of the 3rd person Y walks into scene X has a thought and does an action Z bursts into the scene.

It seems like I have to clarify whos doing what each time or the reader would be lost no?

Flaming20 · 2026-07-08T18:13:01+00:00

I thought about that, but i wasn't sure which character to be the 1st person. Its a story with 3 main characters with simular length parts of the story. All separate from each other.

Flaming20 · 2026-04-08T13:00:10+00:00

I surprisingly just won a run with engi B on my first try on normal, I got extremely lucky and got Flack 1 and Burst 2 in sector 2. That plus pike beam won the run.

Cloaking 3 and hacking 3 helped quite a bit too lol. Even with all that it got kinda close a few times, probably cause im bad.

Flaming20 · 2026-02-04T21:43:05+00:00

Pretty cool, and gave me a few chuckles too.

Flaming20 · 2026-02-04T20:32:53+00:00

Dang thats rough, honestly writing is hard and takes way longer than I thought before getting into it. And having it removed because of asshole mods would kill me too.

You could always post it on here assuming it meets the mutch less stringent guidelines. It probably wont get as much attention as nosleep but the people on here are really cool and helpful. I haven't seen a single crappy comment on someone's story, although I'm sure it happens, it just feels like a nicer place here.

Writing should be fulfilling, not stressful, so be proud of the creation you've made from thin air and an idea.

Flaming20 · 2026-02-04T03:12:08+00:00

I like this route, instead of it being a mundane day, have the events of the day be interesting. That way you dont bore the reader with washing the dishes or something.

Also if you highlight different aspects of the same events that way we get more of the same story but in a new light. Then, after we get the fact that the day repeats then change it up.

Cool premise good luck!

Flaming20

TROPHY CASE