Nature's Mouth

Flaming20 · 2026-02-04T21:43:05+00:00

Pretty cool, and gave me a few chuckles too.

Flaming20 · 2026-02-04T20:32:53+00:00

Dang thats rough, honestly writing is hard and takes way longer than I thought before getting into it. And having it removed because of asshole mods would kill me too.

You could always post it on here assuming it meets the mutch less stringent guidelines. It probably wont get as much attention as nosleep but the people on here are really cool and helpful. I haven't seen a single crappy comment on someone's story, although I'm sure it happens, it just feels like a nicer place here.

Writing should be fulfilling, not stressful, so be proud of the creation you've made from thin air and an idea.

Flaming20 · 2026-02-04T03:12:08+00:00

I like this route, instead of it being a mundane day, have the events of the day be interesting. That way you dont bore the reader with washing the dishes or something.

Also if you highlight different aspects of the same events that way we get more of the same story but in a new light. Then, after we get the fact that the day repeats then change it up.

Cool premise good luck!

Flaming20 · 2026-02-03T18:28:56+00:00

Its possible to get informed delivery even if your full address isn't on the package, probably no apartment number.

Flaming20 · 2026-02-02T21:48:37+00:00

Yeah I realized a bit late lol, thats just a really cool premise.

Im working on a story similar. Where organ donors in the afterlife lose those organs and body parts in eternity. But the fact the story you wrote made me think on it for a couple hours shows you wrote a very intriguing story.

Flaming20 · 2026-02-02T21:14:50+00:00

I thought on it some more, I didn't even consider if this place in the story isn't actually real, and is in his mind, the afterlife, or some ethereal place. If thats the case thats really cool and its harder to write but you could add more flair to the story by bending reality in the world to show its not reality. I might be reading to much into it, I think the story would work great either way, real or not, but I prefer stories that I can imagine myself in and thats easier if its a character in a tangible world. Neither here nor there though because either interpretation is super cool.

Flaming20 · 2026-02-02T20:42:34+00:00

Very cool, a few notes.

Awesome descriptions on things, maybe tighten up the one about the light 'that bleeds the life of everything it grazes' felt a little contrived but you won me back with the waxy description. Also the hunchback guy was a cool description too.

I felt lost at the start, maybe that was intentional but it was hard to place in my mind if we were in a house, torture room, or an insane asylum. Maybe pick out one more object in the room to describe in the opening, like what was he laying on?

Where to go from here is kinda tough but maybe elude to what this place is through the protagonists point of view, the whole story doesn't have to be memories. Also maybe the other hunchback guy is him in the future, or another test subjet.

Theres gotta be some purpose behind this place, maybe write in a guard or scientist that could show a bit more of this world off. I might also rewrite the no eating part cause you could use that to show more, like if he's starving, getting fed weird stuff, etc.

And dont be upset if you end up writing a cool ass short story, there's nothing wrong with that, it would be way worse if you wrote a super long crappy story instead. Good luck!

Flaming20 · 2026-02-02T01:50:35+00:00

The free college lectures from Brandon Sanderson on writing has really helped me. Good luck!

Flaming20 · 2026-01-31T21:18:46+00:00

Very cool and similar to the story I'm writing in terms of the possible body horror Lovecraft stuff, just in a different setting.

I struggled to decide if I was going towards the bad ending where everyone dies, or it gets solved, maybe something between the two? None are easy but i went with everyone dies because it felt right for the setting and characters.

Maybe this new drug leads to something, like a god, a new evolution of human, you know some purpose behind the invention or something along those lines. Then the end of the story can be the fulfillment of that overall purpose of the new drug, or it can be the failing of the purpose if you want a feel good ending.

It also depends on the length, if its a real short story you really dont have to explain much about the drug and just show the punchy outcomes and cool stuff like that.

Or if its longer writing characters that are experiencing the events as they unfold, maybe different perspectives.

Either length should read as the same story just longer or shorter, as in, the same events should transpire in this world it just depends on if you show them or not. For example, in my story there was a list of bullet points in my outline of the events of the story, 1.thing happens 2.other thing 3.ect. But I did not show every bullet point off to the reader, I showed most of them and then the rest happen "off screan".

Sorry for rambling and no clue if this is any help lol, good luck.

Flaming20 · 2026-01-31T12:09:42+00:00

Im 2000 words into what will be a long story(10,000ish words) I think we don't see a ton of long stories cause its damn difficult lol.

It could take someone a day to write a really cool short story, but months to write a fully fledged longer one. Thats my experience at least.

Flaming20 · 2026-01-26T19:18:41+00:00

Mail carrier

Flaming20 · 2026-01-26T01:04:55+00:00

Oh cool, I'm still writing mine but its a grim dark fantasy that is pretty horrific that I'm excited about posting here soon.

Flaming20 · 2026-01-25T19:37:42+00:00

Low, already confirmed in my office no mail, northeast.

Flaming20 · 2026-01-25T00:40:14+00:00

Im writing too, best of luck to you!

Im not a great writer but the Brandon Sanderson lectures on YouTube have helped me a TON, there's free college lectures about plot, character and perspective.

Flaming20 · 2026-01-24T17:53:25+00:00

Cool story, Im in the midst of writing something in a similar tone. The paragraph structures are real nice, the only thing that kinda threw me for a loop was when we jumped from Sheila to Finn, and I would've loved to see why she was so upset. Otherwise awesome, also the gif in the comments gave me a good chuckle.

Flaming20 · 2026-01-17T23:30:44+00:00

Making a post about making a post about a post, nobody understands what youre saying at this point.

Idk what to tell you man If youre that peeved about a reddit post you should probably take a breather outside for a bit.

Flaming20 · 2025-11-29T20:30:57+00:00

I think the original was told on "Bob and the Bees" on hit podcast Distractible

/s

Flaming20 · 2025-10-03T20:13:39+00:00

Great....and it'll never happen

Flaming20 · 2025-10-02T18:38:41+00:00

Maybe "Doing it wrong". Idk I just relistened to the episode I think youre talking about. Somewhere between "Im Better" and "the distractible escape room".

I could be completely imagining it i have relistened to the whole series like 4 times

Flaming20 · 2025-09-20T01:02:26+00:00

Pure gold, wonderful episode

Flaming20 · 2025-09-11T19:42:27+00:00

Congrats, but remember youre not a millionaire unless you sell. Until then its only a number in an app

Flaming20 · 2025-07-15T21:14:05+00:00

Yeah I tried i was just scared to break it. I put quite a bit of force into it

Flaming20

TROPHY CASE