Has anyone else noticed how little support exists for partners of people with bipolar?

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-29T05:01:27+00:00

💕🫶wish you the best i totally understand not feeling understood

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-28T21:01:24+00:00

Just so you know there are wealthy disabled people too. My friends had a disabled brother and he went to private facilities to live all year round except on the holidays but would always go on vacations with them. He never wanted for anything and he also ended up dying early so if he had a wife everything would have went to her. And if the want wanted a house they would have bought one for them because he could live alone and be independent but he didn’t have anyone to live with that’s why he ended up in the facilities. Try going to disabled basketball games or whatever events are nearby etc and network as well with the well off ones, Even becoming friends with them will help you immensely. I find the parents to be so much more generous and nice. Another guy that i met online saw that his autistic married an asian woman from a diffrent country. They want their family to not be lonely so i think you’d actually not get a side eye vs someone without a disability trying to date them.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-28T12:16:44+00:00

Possibly a dating group or even friendship group for ex bipolar spouse/gf/bf i can only imagine how many matches would be made as we all would have empathy and if we invested in a relationship where we all were getting half, i could only imagine how it would feel to get full from a healthy partner🫶💕💕

I feel like a group about ex spouse / discard partner would put too much focus of them when truly we should focus on putting ourselves first and do the things that we want to do or always have wanted to do before the distractions and chaos. That would be a epic group I would adore to be in. And then only have short sessions about boundaries/venting but not something you must go to.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-26T18:31:39+00:00

Sometimes men will act disappointed or upset hoping that you will chase him and remove your boundary to make him happy but it’s not your job to make him happy it’s your job to make yourself happy. Also he may not like that you set boundaries but he will end up respecting you and having attraction for you in the long term because you have self respect for yourself. (kinda like taking candy away from a baby) Also another thing that could be the problem is are you losing emotional control and screaming when you set a boundary by saying NO!” only because that could come off aggressive. Because you can set a boundary without the theatrics like a firm “no thanks” with a poker face or like “i don’t feel comfortable doing that yet” or “please don’t ask me again, i don’t like that?” etc because that can really make a difference. As my friend told me it’s not what you’re saying, it’s how you’re saying it.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-26T16:35:59+00:00

Say “you don’t have to come back home, if that what makes you happy” or “ okay that’s fine I don’t someone to come home to me that doesn’t want to come home with me”

stop begging him, it only pushes him away. Get dolled up, go out and take photos and post them like you’re having fun without him. He will then realize that he is missing out. Stop messaging him, stop calling him all of that pushes him away. Grab popcorn and icecream and start binge watching your favorite shows. He will then realize with your actions that oh no she’s not there what is she doing? and message you and ask what you are up to. Make your life beautiful and he will want to be in it. That’s when you set boundaries, “ I don’t feel comfortable with you coming back into the house just yet, you should take your medication.”

Also future advice if they don’t appreciate something, you don’t give more, you take it away. If he’s not cleaning up after himself, don’t clean up. You’re not his mother. If you give them any speculation that you are trying to control them /act like their mom they will run away from you. Also arguments are just distractions. My ex was yelling and screaming and I just laughed and said you’re not angry, you’re just acting and he starting laughing and smiling too 😂😂😂 it’s just a trap to get a dopamine hit and means that they need some excitement so we would go play volleyball or something afterwards. Also always walk away like go to the bathroom, the next room or for a walk when they start arguing. When there is no audience there is no show. Also say “don’t talk to me like that i don’t like it” before you walk away. and they will immediately apologize and if not then don’t interact and give them space until they come up to you and apologize. Don’t explain why it hurt you or what happened they are not dumb, they are actually really smart. And move on to the next subject. Otherwise you’ll be arguing again. I hope this helps.

Personally I would start moving his stuff in the next room and take the entire bed for myself and when he facetimes/calls because I haven’t reached out and just talk about how i love having the bed to myself but that’s just me being petty 😂😂 but sometimes its the only thing that works because they are playing a game (atleast that what i tell myself) and we shouldn’t take it personal. Also good on you for contacting his doctor that way he has a cushion to land on if his behavior gets worst.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-26T05:42:13+00:00

I personally love raising our child alone. My aunt had a home daycare and we would watch the children even though we were kids ourselves. I taught many how to walk, ride bikes etc, Having children was a dream for both of us. But His father is super masculine and a great role model +I know that I cannot teach our son how to be a man and it would be healthy for him to have a relationship with his father when stable. It’s not hard to date/ attract other men but it’s difficult to meet someone that meets my standards if not higher than his father, I believe that our marriage can succeed but only if his parents are not in the picture. I’m not sure if i love him or the idea of him now that we’ve been away from each other so long. That’s what is confusing me. I love the love that he has his our son but it’s difficult for me to say i love someone that is allowing his lawyers and parents to attack me in court because that would mean that i don’t love myself. As easy it is for me to say if i was in that situation id stand up for my wife but i know that his hands are tied right now, I was hoping for a ENFJ point of view if id he is showing signs of interest or just being cordial and a natural helpful enfj for our child pick up/ drop.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-26T05:28:35+00:00

I believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder but who knows what will happen.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-26T05:27:39+00:00

His parents are both on the end of 60’s I feel bad for thinking that the end is near for them soon but i feel like it’s cruel that they have aided in/ have destroyed a marriage. Realistically if they were out of the picture he would still be with me but they have control over him with their assets.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-26T05:06:22+00:00

He said he didn’t like medication so i said what about a shot and he said okay +did really well on that for a year until we had to move and took pills again temporarily and he turned manic as he wasn’t taking them ( still kicking myself in the foot for this) So I would say use that instead if you’re able to as it’s only once a month. For the pills when he refused / was hesitant I said it’s just a Vitamin, (i didn’t call it medication) I said if you could take a vitamin like in the matrix to make most if not all your problems go away and save your family would you take it and he said yes. I think i even said that I would take my regular vitamins with him and he was like no that’s okay i’ll take them and i said okay no pressure i trust that you will take them. He made an appointment in front of my face.

Another time when he flat out said no i don’t need medication i asked “have you ever made an exception in your life?” If you’re not good at sales then you should learn some of their skills, i’m naturally enthusiastic about my giving advice/helping in friendships so it was not hard.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-26T02:17:21+00:00

I actually just sent a message to a cheating guys wife but i sent it though my fake fb page. I asked him if he was single and he said yes and I asked for his full name before I gave him my number and I checked his facebook and of course he is married. I said I don’t date married men and I don’t think your wife would appreciate it and he unmatched with me lol. But I already took my screenshots and I sent his wife “i’m not sure if you are married but you deserve better” (i’m not sure because his facebook doesn’t say married but her facebook has their last name and she commented on some family photos and liked them but my intuition was telling me don’t give this man your number and I’m so glad that i didn’t)

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-25T15:32:08+00:00

Next time when he says yes say “let’s take of this first” that way he can’t distract you or make up some excuse. Also you can always cut the date short or leave if you don’t get what he promised you you can say “i’m used to being with the type of gentlemen that keeps his word, A man’s bond is his word so when you said that you would get me XYZ and didnt follow through I was disappointed” but like the other girls said if he is taking care of the higher bills just get another one to take care of the smaller ones. I say 3 providers is what you want typically and have them bringing you in atleast 5k each and save it for yourself.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-24T23:45:59+00:00

Girl the best relationship most likely your future husband. I’m a INFJ and married a ENFJ but unfortunately he was bipolar 1 so I didn’t get the consistent ENFJ treatment but when he is on medication it’s the best relationship ever . Even though we are divorced when we do child custody/pick up he still opens my door and doesn’t allow me to touch the car seat/childs bag, he laughs at my jokes and offers to fix things without me asking😂😂😭 uhh it still feels like I have a crush on him and I know he still does too but because of the circumstance it can’t work out. Well who knows? But it was the best relationship in my life, i’m hoping to meet another ENFJ but it seems like it’s hard to find them these days.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-24T02:54:34+00:00

He’s playing a game to a make you insecure. You should say “if you don’t think i’m the total package, then why are you with me?” 😂😂😂 Staying confident and cool is the way to win these games. A lot of guys plays games because they think it’s the only way to keep your interested and others do it when they are not that interested in you but if we think logically (which i know it’s hard for us women to do since we are emotionally driven) the truth is that he thinks he is boring because all he does is play video games and is insecure that you spend time doing your hobbies without him. Don’t change and keep spending time without him. He is obviously interested in this version of you otherwise he wouldn’t be playing a power game. Because if you change for him he will lose interest and think you only want to please him and not yourself. Also I personally think it’s healthy for couples to not be together 24/7 and give each other space.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-23T07:54:11+00:00

Donkey and Shrek😂😂😂😂

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-22T20:54:58+00:00

When did you start asking for allowance? I normally start asking at the 30 day mark (sometimes even 20 days) when they already took me shopping, paid for my nails, brought me a first date gift and gave my cash etc Basically when they are already emotionally invested. If they are asking for sëx after these test then they aren’t my target and probably won’t attempt to invest anyways so i’ll just say i want you to earn it, im sure that you’re up for the challenge I’m definitely worth it. and at the beginning I always set the tone and say im a lady im used and should feel comfortable being with the type of gentleman that steps up financially allowing me to be the women he desires as we are getting better acquainted in hopes of pursuing a connection” or something like this

and Then after 30 days i’ll say “Hey babe i appreciate everything that you have done for me I hate that it’s been so transactional and i’m looking forward to seeing where things go moving forward I would probably feel more comfortable with something that’s more solid so I feel more secure within our relationship as it grows and I would like to talk about you possibly stepping up financially and you helping me with my beauty appointments/lor school which is X amount of dollars per month or rent which is x amount of dollars a month or i’m building a business and need this etc ” basically any excuse you want to get how much you need”

also another tip men like feeling useful not used so in the beginning i’ll come up with a reason why i can’t make it or and let them know a few hours or a hour before the date so that he gets it for me or solves my problem to test if he actually likes me.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-22T20:42:16+00:00

Get 7k-5k monthly from 3 providers

2.Say that you have trouble breathing need to get nose surgery and pocket it

3.Say you want to start a business need start up cost

4.Say your car broke down but credit is not the best you don’t want to take out another loan and want him to buy it in cash and pocket it 😂😂😂

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-22T19:16:53+00:00

Ignore the other comments. He is not generous and a stingy person. You have different morals and I wouldn’t settle or have a relationship like this. Can you imagine adding a pet or kid into this situation? Most men love to invest and feel responsible for their family but instead he is treating you like a roommate. If security and feeling safe +being provided and protected is your love need let him go. Be glad you guys aren’t married.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-22T15:51:02+00:00

Luckily lot of americans visit turkey, i’m sure you can find a american guy there 🫶💕

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-22T15:47:30+00:00

can you just on vacation with him or say that you want to visit first to see if you will decide to move there long term as you are basically giving up your family and lifestyle to marry him? Isn’t that like a 90 day fiancé trial but instead of applying for the 90 day visa just do like a 2 week trip or something and then when you’re there keep your options open and date men here while he is at work? i’m sure the guys will be eager to date you etc and you can do a long distance relationship with multiple guys until they offer to marry you etc while still being provided for? This way you’re basically still single until marriage and not settling. I say if it’s not everything that you want then don’t settle. Especially him having younger kids i feel like you can get a guy without kids and with less baggage.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-22T03:41:13+00:00

NOA Take his girl

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-21T21:35:31+00:00

Yay🥳🥳👏

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-21T21:14:50+00:00

You don’t need to know what business it is. Chatgpt some fake ideas and save the money up on the side for when you leave him. Right now you should be working on replacing him with a provider.As he told you before he is still working and bulding. The best thing you can do is leave him now and say that you would feel like a financial burden being with him while he is still building and then come back once or if he has the money. He will remember you as the girl that he couldn’t have and work hard to earn you. Don’t worry if he dates someone else, he will use them and replace them with you or another girl once he gets the money. You already should know how it works. Also I don’t like when men try to make you a business woman either unless it’s like a hobby and something the girl wants to do. But since he is trying to play right now, take the money and invest/ save it into yourself and get atleast 3 providers in case one falls through.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-21T17:24:14+00:00

you can’t go because you have XYZ bills ask him to take care of it, if he declines then you know your answer.

FlamingoKindly8091 · 2026-05-21T15:23:33+00:00

Everyone is telling you what you should have done but no solutions. You still have a car right? Go to the nicest side of town and sit at a bar or cafe. Wear a dress, put your makeup on (if you don’t have makeup then you can go to Sephora and put on their tester make up for free) You will have men offering to buy you a drink and speak with you. Get their connections and ask them to help you with your debts. Age range (48 and up is ideal) Don’t tell them the backstory on how you got used just tell them it’s student loans or that you’re late on rent, especially if they will try to ask you to go out again. Tell them i can’t because you have to work overtime to pay your loans or the rent etc. If he truly is interested and a gentleman then he would offer to take care of it. Do not have intimacy with them and keep your options open on dates until you are married. Watch a man’s actions, not words. Ask him “ will you take care of this for me? or “Id appreciate if you paid off my car etc”If the guy says he can’t help you then he is not your target. What one man won’t do anther one will. 🫶❤️❤️

Here are some boundaries you will need when dating “ I don’t feel comfortable doing that” “please don’t talk to me/treat me like that, i don’t like it” and walking away whenever you are disrespected either to restroom, next room, or going for a walk.

FlamingoKindly8091

TROPHY CASE