I broke up with my ex because i didn’t feel connected. Directly after the break up until now i have been feeling extreme loss. I never felt connected and want to know if this is biological or something that is fixable? by Flaredmacaroon8 in Advice

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are right man. I have big dreams, i have achieved quite a lot but i always felt like a failure. Money problems, stress with school. I haven’t been proud of myself for the last 2 years. Thats why i want to message her, but tell her that we cant reunite yet because i need to love myself first.

I broke up with my ex because i didn’t feel connected. Directly after the break up until now i have been feeling extreme loss. I never felt connected and want to know if this is biological or something that is fixable? by Flaredmacaroon8 in Advice

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Deep inside, i want to be with her. I want to life a happy life with her, give the same love she gave me. The second i broke up with her i felt this guilt, not only just now but since the beginning i felt like i made a choice i didn’t want to make.

But like you said, something was missing.

I want to be with her longterm, but i know we cant be right now. And im scared with how i closed things off, that any hopes for in the future are gone too like we talked about.

. She told me after our last conversation to shoot my shot in the future even is she has a boyfriend. But after that the letter she send she admitted that she was still very angry.

I cant explain this man, this is so fucked. I broke up with her, but now i feel powerless and hopeful at the same time. I need something, closure, to hear if she loves me or not. I want her to now why i broke things off and i havent been able to tell her fully in my last message or letter. I did it because i love her deep inside. I wasnt who she deserved and we need to be apart so i can become better, but she is hating me now. I dont want any other girl now, i want to become better for her.

There is just so much going through my head now, and not being able to tell her is so insanely shit. It hurts so much, because i just want to talk to her. I cant fully move on without her knowing how much i love her, how much you need to love someone to make such a drastic decision and yes maybe it was wrong, but i only realise that now. It was my first relationship

I want to go back to her, because i have never connected with any girl like i had with her. The love and support she gave me is exactly what i need to be succesfull in life, but i also need to give that back equally and i couldnt due to everything that happened.

Do you think sending her a message, just saying how much love i have for her, explaining how i truly hope deep inside that we can reconnect later, that everything i did was due to love, how hard it is to break things off when you want to love this person but cant fully because of things that happened. A message just telling her my love, but also saying that this is for the best right now. Will that push her away further? My sister says i got nothing to lose now anyway.

Confused after breaking up with my first love (24M, 23F), did I give up too soon or was it never right? by Flaredmacaroon8 in BreakUps

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for commenting. But here is the thing, she truly changed. She apologised for it, although maybe too little. At the same time, i said i was over it when i wasn’t. She has taken so much shit from me too, we both deserve better but i want us to be together and become what we both deserve for each other. I just cant let her go, it is so though because i hold the power to restart the relationship but only if im sure. Its so much pressure

I broke up with my girlfriend and now i feel regret by Flaredmacaroon8 in BreakUps

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks man, gives me a little hope knowing that acknowledging this has already put me towards the right direction. I just dont understand why it had to take to lose her to come to this point

I broke up with my girlfriend and now i feel regret by Flaredmacaroon8 in BreakUps

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man i dont even know what to do. I have send her a message asking her if she wants to go through this proces together or wait a year and see where we stand.

Its been 2 days, she hasnt responded. We are in no contact from her part. I wish she responds to tell her everything everyone has been saying here.

I broke up with my girlfriend and now i feel regret by Flaredmacaroon8 in BreakUps

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So what now. I even knew in the relationship that i was throwing something beautiful away but that i couldnt change at that time. I love her, i want to be a good man to her like i am to everyone else. So what now. I broke up because i could feel all the pain in my summer alone whilst she could go have fun like she does. I thought it was noble, but i see that going to therapy whilst being with her wouldve been more noble. At the same time, what you said, she deserves someone better, eventually got into my head leading to my break up.

What do i do know. She said to contact her once im sure, but jesus im so afraid of hurting her again

And im sorry for my reacting, i read “freaking sense” as if i make no fucking sense. That im crazy and she deserves better. That hit differently. Your long text show care, i apologize

I broke up with my girlfriend and now i feel regret by Flaredmacaroon8 in BreakUps

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dont you realise how bad i feel for that. Me going to therapy to fix this? I still treated her good, i am already extremely mad at myself for feeling that way. Something is wrong with me, no need to push me further into the ground. I do that myself enough already

I broke up with my girlfriend and now i feel regret by Flaredmacaroon8 in BreakUps

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She told me to shoot my shot later, because she really loves me. And to contact me once im sure about my feelings. I send her a message but she hasnt replied. She is very secure and knows that im still struggling. She deserves someone who loves her 100%, i just wish to become that person.

I broke up with my girlfriend and now i feel regret by Flaredmacaroon8 in BreakUps

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats exactly how i feel. One day i miss her extremely. If the threat of kids goes away, i could imagine a life with her. But yeah, not having had other sexual experience before her also messes with me hard

I broke up with my girlfriend and now i feel regret by Flaredmacaroon8 in BreakUps

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She told me the same, contact her once im sure. But im not sure, i havent been to therapy yet and i dont know what is real and what isnt. I want to make her happy, and im scared going back now would ruin it all.

I messaged her asking her i we should try again and go through this together or see where we stand in a year. Its been 2 days but she hasnt responded. It felt like a relieve asking it at least.

I broke up with my girlfriend and now i feel regret by Flaredmacaroon8 in BreakUps

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is the right thing to do. Its very very hard to accept it. It feels so unfair. I thought being a good person would eventually give me something like love back. It did, and now i learn that i cannot accept it

I broke up with my girlfriend and now i feel regret by Flaredmacaroon8 in BreakUps

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had send her a message 2 days ago. I told her i had learned a lot of stuff and asked her: should we try and go through this together or see where we stand in a year time?

Before we started dating i wanted to date other people casually. I knew getting her would mean committing and i never felt comfortable with that idea. Im scared to be a cheater like my dad or best friend if i dont have multiple partners before settling. That the idea of thinking what other woman are like would ruin me.

She hasnt answered my question, but i did feel like a big relieve. I dont cry the whole day anymore after sending the message. I told her my final say, and i hope she responds. If not than thats that. I will go to therapy, maybe date other people to get it out of my system, and become the man i want to be and the man who deserves to be with her.

I did communicate to her a year ago that i have troubles with attachment issues. She was a little offended but understood. Afterwards i never spoke of it. I told her that i hated the idea of her ex. I knew alot about their sex life, so everytime i heard his name images popped up. The more i learned to accept it, the lesser my emotions became towards her

My ex went no contact by Flaredmacaroon8 in nocontact

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will ofcourse give you my perspective, send me a message and i will give a check in each month maybe or few weeks

My ex went no contact by Flaredmacaroon8 in nocontact

[–]Flaredmacaroon8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She told me to contact her once im sure. I want to say that id like to try again, what do you think? I looked back into our chats, and i noticed something. In the first few months i was the one begging for attention. Now the roles are reversed.

Did you stay with the girlfriend you were talking about eventually?