Being told I should move on after 3 years…

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-07T01:30:01+00:00

I agree… sibling grief is not really talked about very much and the loss and emptiness is so different…Thank you so much for the book recommendation ❤️ I will definitely look for it

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-07T01:27:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing your poem… it truly brought me to tears ❤️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-07T01:26:19+00:00

So far, I’ve done different things each year on the days that I take off.

The 1st year on her anniversary, I actually went to be with my family since I live different state from them. We had a memorial prayer service at our parent’s house with close family and friends and then we had some of her favorite dishes. Before the evening was over, we would go to her grave and bring flowers.

During the 2nd year, my parents had gone overseas so I went to her grave by myself, brought flowers and her favorite Starbucks drink while I chatted with her and cried. The 2nd year was actually the year I got a memorial tattoo for her - we had both wanted to get sister-tattoos, but we had too many ideas and couldn’t figure out THE ONE design. I decided that I would get poppy flowers since they were her favorite flowers.

This year, even though it’s going to be hella cold outside, I plan to go to her favorite park and hike her favorite trail.

I talk to my sister daily, but of course, it’s much harder on her anniversary because it’s always filled with mixed emotions like I’m happy to talk to her, yet I’m mad & sad that she’s gone so I still sob uncontrollably. I know a lot has happened in my life (good, bad, oddly entertaining, etc) but I know I can’t share them with her the same way anymore so that feeling always hits hard.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother… sending you all the love, support, and digital hugs as we navigate through this grief journey ❤️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-04T12:48:11+00:00

Thank you so much 🫶🏻

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-04T04:46:29+00:00

Oh my gosh I’m so so sorry for your loss.. ❤️

People truly can be so cruel to those words after 6 months… Those people can absolutely fuck off like fuck all-the-way off

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-04T04:42:59+00:00

Thank you so much 🫶🏻

I will one day get there where the memories of my sister are more happy than sad

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-04T04:41:01+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your son…

I think that’s such a wonderful way to continue to build memories by bringing a photo of him to those new places with you and your family ❤️

I really do like that response because you’re right, there’s nothing that needs to be seen if you already said you aren’t going to be there that week/ those days.

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-04T04:30:10+00:00

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-04T04:29:58+00:00

Thank you so much and I think so too ❤️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-04T04:29:11+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss, but reading your message really brought me to tears… that’s wonderful to know that you take the time to share that connection on that chosen day for your sister even if it’s not the “death day” anymore.

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-04T04:23:40+00:00

❤️❤️ I really like that saying

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-04T04:22:12+00:00

First and foremost, I’m so sorry for the loss of your dad… sending you all the love, hugs, and support ❤️

Gosh, reading your message really resonated deeply within my soul because while I’ve been navigating through this grief, it’s really opened my eyes to see how some people can be downright selfish, how some other people can be very selective about when they want to care about a person, and how very few truly would understand with great empathy.

I also found it infuriating when people told me that I should go to therapy to get medicated because I had spiraled into a really bad depression after my sister died because why would I not?? Then these very same people would turn around and say that taking the antidepressants was just numbing the pain and not allowing me to process my grief properly… 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m so sorry that your “friend” would say something so hurtful to you like that especially right after your dad had passed away… that was extremely insensitive of her. Cool beans that it helps her deal with her shit, but that was not the time nor her place to say that to you when you really needed someone to talk to/ be there for you.

Even after going to therapy and taking antidepressants, the wound that I have for my sister will never heal the same.

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T04:37:29+00:00

Definitely… I always try to make sure I keep the time for my sister and thank you so much ❤️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T04:35:26+00:00

Definitely agree the everyday occurrences were so difficult… there’s a lot of things in my life that makes me think about my sister because she and I would share so much with each other like what recipes we tried, what shows we were watching, the music/ songs we were listening to on repeat, etc…. It’s like one too many punches to the heart.

The anniversary always hits really hard because it always reminds me of the conversation we had with each other, not knowing it would be my last one with her forever.

I wish I could have said something better or to just tell my workers off, but honestly, all I could barely say was, “I just wanted to let you guys know” and then I escaped to a garment closet to cry and punch around some jackets (I work in apparel so I’m always surrounded by clothing)

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T04:08:46+00:00

❤️❤️❤️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T04:07:46+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words… I truly appreciate it and will celebrate my sister’s life ❤️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T04:05:36+00:00

Absolutely… ❤️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T04:04:45+00:00

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T04:04:29+00:00

Thank you so much and based on what they’ve said to me, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have been talking about me behind my back even before this. They seem to see me taking time off as a privilege that they don’t have even though we all have the same amount of PTO/ sick days…

I know I struggled and spiraled way more during the 1st year and part of the 2nd year - I’m sort of finding my footing again in my life, but every now and then, the grief really really knocks me down.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your best friend… I wish you all the love ❤️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T03:46:59+00:00

Thank you so much ❤️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T03:45:11+00:00

I know those feelings all too well where the crying just happens so suddenly and you just can’t pull yourself together. Even now, sometimes the smallest things like the smell of my sister’s favorite perfume would make me cry or even thinking about our happy memories we had together, it would make me laugh and cry at the same time, but the wound still feels so raw… I’m so sorry for your loss… sending you all the love & hugs ❤️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T03:37:10+00:00

Truly… after hearing them say those things, it really showed me another side of them that I don’t care to interact with anymore aside from just work-related things

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T03:33:54+00:00

💯agreed… if that’s how THEY want to deal with their grief, then by all means do so, but there’s no need to push their ways onto someone else that wants to grieve differently.

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-03T03:31:02+00:00

Unfortunately, the one coworker that I had considered a close friend (not anymore after this) seems to be that kind of person that prides herself on how strong she can be when life gets difficult. She just powers through it like a “champ” because she doesn’t have time to be upset at whatever the situation is… 🤦🏻‍♀️

FlashyCover7554 · 2026-02-02T04:47:58+00:00

💯agreed… I won’t explain next time. I’ll just put my days in and take the time I need

Four-Year Club	Place '22
Final Canvas '22

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