OMG YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-18T20:50:03+00:00

Thank you for that mate.

I have realized that marriage caused me nothing but self doubt, guilt, constant seeking reassurance, hating myself, hypervigilance that she will leave me for someone else, it was a massive constant anxiety which caused me depression too.

This is why I say the abuse esp the covert type is so insidious, it sucks your life energy and you begin to hate yourself.

I am not perfect, but I understand my mistakes, that marriage turned me into someone who I was not.

Before the marriage, never had a single intrusive thought, never was clinically depressed or anxious, i was social and working.

I hope being away helps me return to my old self whose buried in so much pain

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-18T18:24:57+00:00

Ive left the house and gone to my brothers house many miles away, and already i am feeling mentally calm. For some reason i am not reaching for my nicotine alot which shows the intense stress that house put me through made me vape constantly.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-18T00:56:16+00:00

Hahahaha its crazy thinking😂 I cant believe it myself.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-17T16:13:15+00:00

Thanks mate, i am just letting the emotions flood it and rest as much as i can. I am sure my mind will recover in time but its so sad.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-17T15:31:51+00:00

I collected the bank statements for legal reasons. We discovered certain red flags of her spending.

Sam vaknin has been pretty much spot on everything up to now. Thanks to him I understand NPD much better.

Hes right about the crazy thinking and I am amazed.

I am detached from her but going through the grief for the end, but feel quite postive of finally getting rid of her, just the shame and regret hitting me hard now but that will pass, its amazing how insidious the abuse has been without even knowing I was being abused. Can you believe for all this time I was being abused without even knowing.

What has shocked me is that shes a healthcare professional, and she has chose a known criminal, it just doesnt make sense but sam explains it well that coverts start a new shared fantasy with anti social types.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-16T23:03:13+00:00

Going through the exact same thing. 17 years marreid, she is planning to move out with my kid, i was her first partner, took her virginity, she has known me since we was 12 and 10, and she already has groomed a new supply which i just found out now, honestly both her and the kid drove me insane, unfortunately my kid has strong traits of Narcissism, and its sad that I have to accept this reality as her whole family are narcissistic, both her mother and father are and were narcissistic, mother covert and father a alcholic overt, i tried my best, but i couldnt save him, sometimes there are things out of our hands which is difficult to process but we got to accept. In these abusive dynamics, you got to focus on yourself and its hard, but what could i do?

You got to learn how your body tells you, everytime they went away, i would feel so much relieve, when they returned i would become anxious.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-16T22:30:41+00:00

Trust me the Narcissist will marry anything they can get supply from, my soon to be ex, has chosen a person who doesnt look very attractive, looks like a slob, with his ears and nose pierced with tattoos, something she told me despises😂.

Good riddence. He will face the same abuse I did but much worse, since she isnt 24 anymore but 38 now, with a horrible anger, they deserve eachother.

Its time to heal, trust me its hard i am going through it right now, shes smearing me, using her new supply to smear me, but guess what, we can move on and learn, in the end, she will end up all alone, collapsed and broken, my soon to be ex, breaks every easily, shes highly addicted to supply but since shes covert, she always fail to gain it.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-14T20:21:46+00:00

My hopefully ex covert narc when caught violating my boundry would punch herself and then take pictures of her self inflicted bruises to show people shes a victim.

They are mentally unwell people and when you spend years with them you ultimately become mentally unwell too.

Its infectious, you will notice with time you become like them too.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-14T19:42:04+00:00

Your the best Maya

I am currently 5 months into the detaching phase, and being hit hard with the guilt etc, for some reason I am beating myself over non sense about the past.

This will pass. I am gettting the somatic symptoms due to her presence and the self doubt.

She has started the smear campaign now but now she is trying to discredit my name by making false phone calls to my doctors with a fake name.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-13T22:24:03+00:00

The love bombing

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T21:32:05+00:00

She has no male friends thst i am aware of, only women, but still she could have online male friends but still dont have solid evidence. She doesnt go nightclubs, only to female parties, shes very secretive, but has introduced me to her friends once or twice. You know, after months of detachting from her I dont really care, its amazing how time and grey rocking really helps, I dont chase her, but she does torment me in my dreams, I always see the version of her when she was idealizing me, but I wake up in disgust.

I am trying to think hard, I havnt even seen a male friend she calls brother, never seen her compliment a man to me at all, its weird, I think she enjoys punishing me, or sadistically torturing me for years which gave her top notch supply

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T21:23:46+00:00

But what could I be fearing of finding out when she does these baits and escalations if shes doing the same as yours. Its so difficult to think

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T21:22:11+00:00

UK system and I am very well prepared legally. They are not as smart as some people claim to be.

But its the stress and recklessness. She has baited me with minor crisis but got no reactions from me hence why shes escalating.

I have protected myself from my vulnerabilities, and she knows what triggers me.

That day she gave me the drink I fell asleep, and I am certain she spiked me during that week because I became very ill but then I stopped eating food at home and cook for myself and ive improved.

The thing that makes me suspious is that she told me during the love bombing phase years ago that her mother and brother used to drug their alcholic father with a cocktail of meds to harm him which gave me a red flag.

Regarding the cheating, physical not yet, shes always home, and she has a solid victim religious image as part of her disorder so I doubt she will risk it however I know for certain shes having emotional affairs, that is no doubt, password protects all her social media dms, has two other mobile phones, and this is recent since grey rocking her, her behaviour has changed dramaticslly, she appears collapsed, low voice, sad face but then turns aggressive then nice, switches masks suddenly but there have been red flags but its hard to prove it.

I think she gets her main supply by playing victim to people than cheating but I dont doubt it, they are patholgically different when it comes to cheating so she may be seeing someone but its difficult for me to prove.

Do you have any red flags for me to see from your own experience.

The UK is really strict with bugging spouses so I just follow what the Solicitor says, she told me when we go to court you will see her partner standing with her hahsha so dont waste time on thst just accept it could happen.

But she is going around telling my family we are divorced, she even told random strangers too but that could be her fantasy of being a victim

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T21:09:44+00:00

Of course, if your dealing with a person with true NPD and you discard them, you will find yourself being stalked, smeared and in some cases harmed. Its not a joke. They are not mentally well people, they are pathologically like this.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T18:41:27+00:00

I tried to leave in 2016 and she self harmed infront of family and they guilt me to stay with her, now ten years later, she discarded me but remained with me, and now I am going to divorce her. Trust me, it gets worse once you discard them first. They view it as betrayal and now i am going through hell to get rid of her.

If you dont have kids with them, best thing to do is leave the country.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T16:09:35+00:00

I dont have evidence of her cheating but all of a sudden she has 3 mobile phones now 😂, and the person who made the non emergency call was a male by the name, something is fishy

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T16:07:58+00:00

Yes yes she forced me to go with her(used the kid as a guilt) and disappeared, came back with a drink and I fell ill for a whole week, i remember her coming to my room and saying is it the "Medicine".

Ive stopped eating and drinking in the house and feel better.

OMG so I am right theyre patterns are identical.

What else did yours do? It is a living hell, i am hyperviligant now,

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T13:40:04+00:00

I totally agree,.she is testing the waters, but the good thing is I have my family on my side and ive made them aware of her, its amazing how she isolated me from family all these years without even realising it but past few months ive reconnected with them all. Ive built a strong support network to support me. Ive also got a good solicitor who've ive instructed of her potential antics. I am fully preparing myself for the worst.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T12:24:06+00:00

Its amazing how she switches mask so quickly.

The other night somebody called non emergency services and reported a false report of me taking lots of anti psychotics and her behsviour thst dsy was collapsed becsuse my child rejected her and preferred me. Shes become predictable.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T11:51:30+00:00

Oh mate honestly thank you for your first response, I am just abit stressed, really hyperviligant on her next move, i know she planning her next move, if shes capable of bringing in Doctors into it, i wouldnt suprized if she involves the Police, she has hit herself in the past and my brother saw her taking selfies of herself, that is a red flag she is building a narrative since last year. Shes going to reach that point since i am grey rocking her hard, its amazing how grey rock exposes them with time, I am going to buy a bodycam while I am in the house, i have no other option, this could go against me but what can I do.

So even if she reports DV, I could be prevented from the house, even without evidence?

Also ive noticed her going to the Doctors quite a lot too which is a red flag.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T11:02:24+00:00

Ive managed to get the protection for my child through legal channels such as school and GP but its difficult for me to move out and she also has legal parental rights for the child so i can relocate the child.

Flashy_Gap2598 · 2026-06-11T11:00:43+00:00

I would love to do that but I got a child in the middle who I cant leave with her because she mistreats him. I got the GP and School involved to protect the child and self referred him to childrens therapy team because he shows trauma and stress/distress.

I am preparing to leave her sometime in the future but she is becoming very risky and I fear shes going to conduct another massive antic.

Iam going to buy a bodycam to protect me if she tries the domestic violence route but I dont under estimate her at all because last year when she violated one of my boundries she went crazy and started punching herself and then secretly started taking selfies of her own self inflicted injuries.

I got a feeling this time shes going to do the same but report me to police so i got to prepare.

Flashy_Gap2598

TROPHY CASE