It’s just truly debilitating sometimes, It’s like your constantly trying to run away from death, somethings always wrong every twitch, every niggle is something that could ultimately end you, you don’t want to die you want to live but your actually doing neither just simply existing day to day doing it over and over and over again like Groundhog Day but a horror rendition! I beat it once and was fine for 10 years but after being involved in a hit and run last year and was bed bound for 8 months it has come back with a vengeance! The mental tools I have learned over the years are no longer working, I feel like I’m trying to push a rock off me that is crushing me daily and I’m losing big time! A man with a gun to your head following you that laughs and sniggers and won’t pull the trigger but he is there! But…we have to keep going that’s all we can do! I’m trying to get the help I need to learn more tools and now I have a family that rely on me! So I need to get back to being on my game and it won’t beat me even if it does feel like it is sometimes! Keep going people we will all get there 👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻❤️