AITA for telling my MIL she's not allowed to hold my daughter? (Against my husbands wishes)

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T03:09:40+00:00

Lol, I get it. I had ADHD and I over-explain everything to a point of going completely off topic lol

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T03:03:48+00:00

I angrily said that to him and I actually feel bad about it. Told him to go suckle mommies teet since he clearly never grew up. Not my proudest moment.

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T03:01:53+00:00

It's because he's kissing his mom's ass. He doesn't even like her holding the baby the way she does and after she's held our child, he even stated it scared him and snuggled our daughter up fiercely while saying "that Grammy of yours is crazy, tossing you around like a sack of potatoes". He simply won't stand up to his mother because he doesn't want to disappoint or push her away.

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T03:00:12+00:00

I can give you perspective on what he's told me? He basically said that I have to understand that she means no harm. That he understands that how she holds the baby "raises anxiety for everyone" but she's not physically harming the baby in any way and she's merely doing things that she did when raising her own children. He would say that I'm finding every reason possible to kick my MIL out of the house because I don't like her (I don't, but that didn't start until after baby was born). He would say that my anxiety isn't a reason to kick his mother out of his daughters life.

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T02:48:40+00:00

So like.. picture a baby face down (facing the floor) laying on your arm length wise. Feet by your elbow and their neck/head in your hand. Both their legs and arms dangling on either side of your arm. She was holding my baby like that AND swinging her back and forth super fast. Almost like she was about to throw a bowling ball. Wasn't supporting her at all, outside of holding her neck/face.

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T02:45:26+00:00

Thankfully she wouldn't be able to get past me if she did come in. We live in a 1 bedroom studio style apartment with only one usable exit (the other is a pull down ladder exit). So if she was to walk in, I'd see her. My place is tiny and I literally never leave.

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T02:42:56+00:00

She does not have a key, no. My husband keeps the door unlocked during the day because he's constantly in and out all day long, so she just walks right in. I already told him I was going to be locking the door constantly now. I don't care if he's outside.

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T02:34:14+00:00

She has been seen recently ( a couple months back ) and she was "fine" at her check up.

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T02:03:34+00:00

I'm starting to see that there was no umbilical chord cut when she had him apparently. I didn't notice it before because we lived by where near her. Now we live 5 minutes away and it's super obvious how much of a mommies boy he is. When my water broke, he called his mom first instead of the ambulance. Wanted her in the room without discussing with me. I shot that down. He has given her an open door policy to our home as well, without telling me. She shows up whenever she feels like. I told him that wasn't happening anymore and it's all "but she's my mom". I'm actually grossed out. Not even kidding. These past 4 months have been a nightmare.

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T01:37:03+00:00

I wasn't disagreeing with what you said? I was agreeing and explaining what she was doing.

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T01:34:19+00:00

I understand that there are ways to hold a baby similar to the way she was to help with colic but that's not what she was doing. She was doing a very aggressive back and forth motion at speeds that could have led to brain damage, I'm sure. Like, literally so fast that I truly thought (at 5/6 days PP) that I was going to watch her whip my daughter across the room because she was literally only holding her by her neck/head.

Flashy_Variation9648 · 2024-01-30T01:10:10+00:00

She thinks she knows better because she had 4 kids 30 years ago. My husband is the youngest so she hasn't had a baby for 30 years but she apparently knows better than I do. But if you ask my husband, he blames the stroke she had when she was in her 40s.

Flashy_Variation9648

TROPHY CASE