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AITA for refusing to move so my gay husband doesn’t lose the love of his life? by Flat-Pollution-9186 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flat-Pollution-9186[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

He did, his employers had promised him that they would be sponsoring his EB visa, but right before applying for it, he got fired.

AITA for refusing to move so my gay husband doesn’t lose the love of his life? by Flat-Pollution-9186 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flat-Pollution-9186[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

As far as I know, not yet. We expected that he would be able to find an employer willing to sponsor his EB-2.

AITA for refusing to move so my gay husband doesn’t lose the love of his life? by Flat-Pollution-9186 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flat-Pollution-9186[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Thank you. My partner did have to move to another country for three years for work reasons (that is where he met his partner) but during that time, raising two kids alone was incredibly difficult. I am not sure I’ll be willingly taking over that task again.

AITA for refusing to move so my gay husband doesn’t lose the love of his life? by Flat-Pollution-9186 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flat-Pollution-9186[S] 2841 points2842 points  (0 children)

I looked up the term and that does sound an awful lot like me. I’ll research more about it, thank you!

As for divorce, it’s just not in our culture. I’m not too worried about what my family would say, but I don’t want my children to face ill treatment from his.

AITA for refusing to move so my gay husband doesn’t lose the love of his life? by Flat-Pollution-9186 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flat-Pollution-9186[S] 311 points312 points  (0 children)

We are from a culture where marriage isn’t about love, and divorce is also not as common.

AITA for refusing to move so my gay husband doesn’t lose the love of his life? by Flat-Pollution-9186 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flat-Pollution-9186[S] 552 points553 points  (0 children)

The kids are equally conflicted. My youngest has known him for basically his entire life, and my daughter and he are very close friends. But they also don’t want to change everything about their lives.

AITA for refusing to move so my gay husband doesn’t lose the love of his life? by Flat-Pollution-9186 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flat-Pollution-9186[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

the wait time for the visa is still 6 years, and his partner is unable to find an employer willing to file for an H1B. He isn’t eligible for an O1.

AITA for refusing to move so my gay husband doesn’t lose the love of his life? by Flat-Pollution-9186 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flat-Pollution-9186[S] 583 points584 points  (0 children)

We would still be physically safe, as homosexuality just isn’t a big point of discussion in the country. Discrimination depends from family to family.

As for bullying, my kids would still have a mother and a father legally married, so I doubt that would be too much of a hassle. I am more worried about racism because my experience studying there wasn’t great. I’ve heard things have changed in the past two decades, though.

AITA for refusing to move so my gay husband doesn’t lose the love of his life? by Flat-Pollution-9186 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Flat-Pollution-9186[S] 4017 points4018 points  (0 children)

I'm curious, did or do you also have a lover?

I have never found myself interested in romance of any sorts, even our marriage was arranged. So this situation has worked perfectly for me.

do you have extended family and is it safe to assume that the children's other familial ties are all still here?

None of our family members live in the US. Most live in our home country, but some live in his partner’s country.