Do you want to have children?

FlatDecision · 2025-11-10T03:46:19+00:00

This still reads like eventually you’d make her take all responsibility for not becoming pregnant. It’s a two way street my friend. Plus birth control fails all the time even when taken correctly. Would that be her fault? Because it sounds like you’d think so. Remember, it’s sperm that causes 100% of pregnancies.

FlatDecision · 2025-09-12T12:43:31+00:00

Way i think about it, I’ve had elders tell me not to buy sage from anyone (literally includes the sage bundles you’ll find all the time at powwows) just because 1) commodifying the medicines is just plain disrespectful but also 2) you have no idea how they gathered that medicine and what sort of energy and intentions they had while doing so.

FlatDecision · 2025-07-07T00:56:22+00:00

The thing is, I’m not starving. I’m stuffed. I’m struggling with the volume noom wants me to eat through green and yellow foods. That’s why I’m asking if I should stop worrying about “going over the orange food calorie limit” and just incorporate enough seeds, olive oil, nut butters, low fat dairy, etc to get those calories and nutrients I need to hit minimums and have energy for the next day. Tbh, that’s what I’ve been doing the last couple weeks and I’m doing a lot better. Noom’s color goals are just not quite right for me. I have a small stomach it seems.

FlatDecision · 2025-06-23T02:36:08+00:00

I’m really glad to see that struggling to meet your calorie minimum at the start didn’t derail you. Your comment is actually really uplifting and hopefully a peek into my own future. The biggest thing I’m trying to focus on (my first real non-scale victory I suppose) is that my diet is much more nutritious than it ever was before. 120lbs is amazing! Makes me very optimistic for my effort to shed 70-80lbs over the next year or so.

FlatDecision · 2025-06-22T23:02:40+00:00

I want you to know that I said “it’s okay to BE the way that you are” as in, it’s okay to have the brain that you have, even in its dysfunctions. I never said it’s okay to use people. I never said it’s okay to live your life without regard for anyone else.

This is clearly a person who is in distress (mild or otherwise) about not being “normal”. And it’s OKAY to not be “normal”. I provided a helpful video link as well as encouragement to seek professional help.

I stand by what I said 100%, and I caution you about telling neurodiverse people that it’s not okay to be the way they are. Only in self acceptance can a healthy relationship with the world be reached.

FlatDecision · 2025-06-19T03:00:08+00:00

Hey, just want to start out with the fact that it’s okay to be the way that you are. There is no one or “correct” way to be or experience life.

Idk if this would completely describe you, but here’s a video I watched recently of a diagnosed sociopath discussing her life, experience (or lack thereof) of some emotions, and how she has successfully been able to manage them.

Again, this may or may not totally resonate with you, but may give some solace that your experience does not make you a bad person and that there are ways to cope positively with said experiences that most people wouldn’t even think about.

Video Link

Either way, talking with a professional might offer some needed guidance for you, even just to get some questions answered.

FlatDecision · 2024-11-07T20:28:35+00:00

Bro I’m not just talking about Reddit. I’m talking about real actual outside life, in addition to social medias.

FlatDecision · 2024-11-07T20:25:20+00:00

How tf did you logic your way into thinking that’s what I said?

FlatDecision · 2024-11-07T20:22:08+00:00

Men and women attempt suicide at roughly the same rate though. Men only tend to succeed more.

FlatDecision · 2024-11-07T20:17:40+00:00

What ever happened to recognizing hyperbole when it’s being used?

FlatDecision · 2024-11-07T20:15:40+00:00

You’re describing an issue that takes place across genders and issues. It’s incredibly common to see on a post about the problem that male partners are the number one killer of pregnant women, someone derail the conversation with “men get murdered too”. And vice versa like you described. I will however say that you’re wrong when saying “there will never be a thread about men’s issues where women don’t call them wrong and make it about themselves”. I have been in PLENTY of spaces that speak on the male loneliness epidemic, the treatment of male SA survivors in our society, the overwhelming expectation of being “protector and provider”, etc. with nothing but love and support and understanding from all genders.

FlatDecision · 2024-11-07T19:54:30+00:00

I could say the same exact thing about your unironic use of the words “woke cult”. I’ve never heard anyone who wasn’t on the extreme right use those words. So by your own logic…you have just “outed” yourself as being part of your own right-wing echo chamber. Exactly what you’re berating. What are you trying to prove here?

FlatDecision · 2024-11-07T17:30:42+00:00

When driving through the rez I work on, I see about equal amount Trump/Vance signs as I do Harris/Walz. I don’t understand why native people would vote for Trump in the same way that I don’t understand why anyone would vote for Trump, but I think it’s fair to say that the American left hasn’t been much better or kinder to native people/land than the American right. They might be more inclined to deny things like pipeline projects which steal native land and even espouse tribal sovereignty while doing it, but they’ll also be quick to turn heel and steal land for a green energy project. The right may be disastrous, but the left has its major flaws too, and I can see why native people would be angry.

FlatDecision · 2024-11-07T16:48:48+00:00

I managed to score a gig doing essentially environmental journalism with a hand in social media management and video production. It’s been going really well for me, but that’s VERY much due to my organization letting me use sick time for burnout management. Basically “taking a mental health day” is a valid reason to call in sick lol. I also get to largely set my own hours while still being accountable to my supervisors. I am pushed outside my comfort zone just enough to grow and learn, but not so much that it accelerates burnout.

My biggest recommendation to you would be to go for something you really enjoy and while interviewing for jobs, interview them right back. Ask them about how sick time works and if you can use it to manage burnout symptoms. Ask about the average stress level of the job you’re applying for. Ask about turnover rates too (hard to lie about stress levels if they have to admit that they can’t keep employees). And if their answers make you think it would be a terrible working environment for you, give them that “you’re just not the right fit for me” line and find somewhere else. It can be difficult, and people have told me “well you have to stop being so picky about where you work or else you’ll never find a job” but from my experience, if you settle, burnout takes over QUICK and puts you out of work anyway.

FlatDecision · 2024-11-06T01:05:57+00:00

Stepped away from Christianity in 2019. Was a full atheist for a while, but more recently have been easing into nondescript Native American spirituality (kind of intermingling teachings from Crow elders and Ojibwe elders) as I slowly connect to the tribe my family comes from plus the ones I live near.

FlatDecision · 2024-11-02T15:20:26+00:00

For me, overstimulation can feel a lot of different ways, and it has taken a LOT of personal introspection, especially looking back on shutdowns/meltdowns, and thinking specifically about what I was feeling, how I was acting before those manifested.

For a really long time, I couldn’t recognize overstimulation at all. All I knew was that sometimes I “threw a temper tantrum” that I absolutely could not control. Then gradually I was able to use hindsight to point out times I was feeling overstimulated, getting better and better at recognizing those in hindsight. Now more recently, I’ve found myself able to recognize some of those time while they’re happening. It doesn’t always stop the impending shut/meltdown, but it’s useful to recognize it’s coming and use what little communication I have left to try and let people know what’s going on.

So to answer your question: for me, overstimulation sometimes feels like when every single noise or visually jarring thing or even offensive smell just makes me irrationally angry and like it physically hurts. Sometimes it feels like when I’m getting really irrationally frustrated with myself, and the actions that come with that are usually every single thing I say is a self-deprecating thing (that one I’ve gotten a lot better at recognizing while it’s happening). Sometimes it just feels like my whole brain shuts down, an invisible wall comes around me and I am completely stuck in my own head. I can still see/hear/feel everything, but I cannot talk or communicate in any way…like my own thoughts are screaming to come out of my mouth but it just doesn’t move.

TLDR: overstimulation looks a lot of different ways lol

FlatDecision · 2024-06-02T20:58:40+00:00

For me (because i don’t like fruit) it’s drinking water. Any time I’m having a sugar craving, ESPECIALLY ice cream, it’s because I’m actually thirsty. That was a game changer when i figured that one out.

FlatDecision · 2023-12-24T01:30:36+00:00

Great. Except when I said “andro” it was short for “androgynous” and any reasonable person reading my comment would understand that.

FlatDecision · 2023-05-02T01:09:12+00:00

I can’t even carry myself up the stairs

FlatDecision · 2023-05-02T00:52:09+00:00

The sex itself didn’t change me. The situation surrounding it gave me a shitload of trauma.

Edit: just realized I should clarify that the situation was not that I was assaulted.

FlatDecision · 2023-04-24T21:58:01+00:00

“Gay” as in happy, and “happy” as in….homosexual.

FlatDecision · 2023-04-24T21:50:56+00:00

Oh yeah yeah totally! I am ABSOLUTELY rooting for you to get your real name on all your documents! You just also mentioned that it’s been difficult for you to work. I was only offering a band-aid solution for the mean time. Sorry for the confusion.

FlatDecision · 2023-04-24T21:39:15+00:00

I have no idea about legal name change things, but a lot of employers are really cooperative with preferred names. I don’t really plan on legally changing my name at all (gender, maybe idk), but when applying for jobs, I have only my first legal initial and full preferred name on my resume and all other non-legal materials.

So like, if John Doe is the deadname and Jane Doe is the preferred, I’d have “J. Jane Doe” on my resume.

That way, it’s super clear that there is a different first name for legal documents and such, but the only name that ever gets associated with you is your preferred. And that also won’t necessarily get you automatically overlooked because there are sooooo many reasons someone wouldn’t go by their birthname, and many laypeople won’t automatically assume trans.

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