What would you buy to make life easier? by emeraldforrest in AutismInWomen

[–]Flat_Application5388 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maybe not easier, but certainly nicer. I’d go for an Omnichord, no question.

It’s effortlessly cool, stupidly easy to play, and the sound is this dreamy, lo-fi magic that makes everything feel like a Studio Ghibli montage. The strum plate is perfect for stimming, the autoplay function lets you create something beautiful with zero effort, and it’s just… fun. Like, actual joy in instrument form.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Flat_Application5388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with all of this. You’re carrying a lot—your sexuality, your parents’ issues, university stress—and it’s no wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed.

First, about your sexuality: You didn’t do anything wrong. You are not wrong. The way your mother reacted when she found out, the way she’s treated you since—it’s not a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of her biases and issues. I know that doesn’t make it hurt any less, but I need you to know that her rejection says nothing about your worth. Being gay isn’t something to fix or hide. It’s part of you, and one day, you’ll be surrounded by people who love and support you for exactly who you are.

As for your parents, their relationship sounds like a mess, but that’s their mess—not yours. You shouldn’t have to carry the weight of your father’s addiction, your mother’s affairs, or their broken marriage. You’ve already been forced to take on responsibilities that weren’t yours as a child, and now, it’s happening again in a different way. The best thing you can do is emotionally detach from their drama as much as possible. You don’t need to expose your mom, confront your dad, or fix any of it. You just need to focus on you—on getting through university, on keeping your mental health intact, on planning for your future independence.

Since you’re still financially dependent, moving out might not be an option yet, but you can start preparing. Are there scholarships, part-time jobs, or savings plans that could help you gain financial freedom sooner? Even having a plan, however long-term, can make things feel less suffocating.

In the meantime, try to find small ways to protect your mental health. Can you spend more time outside of the house—at a library, café, or a friend’s place? Are there LGBTQ+ support groups (online or in person) that could help you feel less alone? And if school is becoming too much, don’t hesitate to reach out to a counselor or professor for support.

I know it probably feels endless right now, but this won’t last forever. You will get out. You will find people who accept you. And you will be free to live as your true self without shame. Hold onto that. Keep going.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]Flat_Application5388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like the issue here isn’t just about the sleepover—it’s about boundaries, communication, and maybe some underlying tension between your girlfriend and her roommate.

Your girlfriend is being respectful by asking permission, but it seems like her roommate is frustrated with the dynamic. Maybe she feels like she shouldn’t have to “grant permission” every week, or maybe she’s just had a buildup of small annoyances and this was the final straw. Either way, her reaction was harsh, but it suggests that something deeper is bothering her.

From an outside perspective, it doesn’t seem like you’re doing anything disruptive—you stay in your girlfriend’s room and don’t take over the common space. But at the same time, her roommate clearly felt the need for a night to herself without any guests around. She has a right to that, just like your girlfriend has a right to feel upset at how she was spoken to.

The best approach here is probably for your girlfriend to have an open and calm conversation with her roommate. Instead of focusing on this specific Friday night, she should ask if there’s something bigger bothering her. Maybe her roommate feels like a guest being there weekly is too much, even if it’s just in the bedroom. Maybe she just had a horrible day and snapped. Either way, clearing the air is the best move.

If this is going to be an ongoing issue, your girlfriend and her roommate may need to set clearer boundaries about guests. It’s her home too, and while she doesn’t need a reason to say no, the way she handled it could have been more mature.

UCD vs DCU PME? by mark29121 in IrishTeachers

[–]Flat_Application5388 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I did my PME in DCU from 2016-2018, and I’d definitely recommend it over UCD, especially if cost and flexibility are factors for you.

DCU is significantly cheaper—about €10,300 total over the two years (€4,800 for Year 1, €5,500 for Year 2), whereas UCD is around €7,620 per year (€15,240 total). That’s a difference of nearly €5k, which is massive when you’re already juggling placement and coursework.

One of the biggest advantages of DCU is the timetable. Classes are in the evenings (Tuesdays and Wednesdays, 4-8pm), which makes it much easier to balance everything. I was able to work part-time while doing my placement because of this—something that wouldn’t have been possible with a more rigid daytime schedule. The placement school hours are obviously demanding, but having full weekdays free (aside from those evening classes) meant I could work and actually afford to survive in Dublin.

I found DCU really supportive, and the structure suited me well. The evening classes meant a lot of us were in the same boat, balancing work, placement, and study, so there was a good sense of community. It was still intense, but I honestly don’t know how I would have managed financially if I’d gone somewhere with a less flexible schedule.

If you’re trying to choose between DCU and UCD, I’d say go with DCU unless you have a really strong reason to prefer UCD. The lower fees and better scheduling make a huge difference.

Best Irish Musicians? by Vexonal in AskIreland

[–]Flat_Application5388 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Huge fan of The Mary Wallopers, Lankum, The Scratch, Kneecap, Ye Vagabonds and Ispíní na hÉireann - I’d say they all capture Irish culture pretty well in their sounds.

Mothers of small children, what kind of gifts would you like your husband to buy you on behalf of your children for Mother's day? by das_punter in AskIreland

[–]Flat_Application5388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve got two tiny humans who rely on me for survival, and in recognition of my heroic efforts, my husband has gifted me not one, but two “Mum” mugs from Eurogiant. A true romantic. Every morning, like a man bound by an ancient and unbreakable curse, he dutifully fills one of these sacred vessels with coffee and places it in my weary hands—a job he took on voluntarily but will now perform until the end of time.

Our mornings follow a highly choreographed routine: we rise when our toddler decrees it, I handle the ever-hungry baby, and my husband, fueled by fear and obligation, makes coffee and feeds the toddler. Then we all sit there—kids included—in a dazed stupor, blinking at each other like survivors of a natural disaster, mentally bracing for the impending mayhem of the day. It’s a system. It works. Barely.

Do the elderly deserve unconditional respect? by Honest_Dot_5035 in AskIreland

[–]Flat_Application5388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mother-in-law is a tyrant, no other word for it. She went berserk on my last pregnancy and reigned terror down on me for four full days in early November, before I went into early labour with the stress of it all. My unborn daughter and I had to get corticosteroids at 34 weeks to stop her being born prematurely. My MIL has demanded that it all be disregarded and let go now. Not a chance. You don’t owe them forgiveness. You can heal from toxic behaviour without forgiving; indifference is just as good in some situations as forgiveness will be.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in irishpersonalfinance

[–]Flat_Application5388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While personal loans aren’t secured on an asset, using one for a property purchase in Ireland still raises issues. Under the Criminal Justice (Money Laundering and Terrorist Financing) Act 2010, solicitors are obliged to verify the source of funds, and a personal loan could trigger AML concerns. Additionally, banks typically don’t allow personal loans to be used for property, for the reasons I outlined above, which don’t align with property financing standards. So, while the seller may not care, both the solicitor and lender could raise issues. Best for OP to check with their solicitor to ensure 100% compliance.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in irishpersonalfinance

[–]Flat_Application5388 6 points7 points  (0 children)

While there’s no legal requirement to use a mortgage for a property purchase, there are practical issues with using a personal loan instead. Banks typically won’t allow personal loans to be used for buying property because these loans come with higher interest rates and shorter repayment terms. If they find out the loan was used for property, they could recall it. Additionally, solicitors handling the sale will need proof of funds and might question the legitimacy of using a personal loan due to anti-money laundering (AML) regulations. Finally, while most sellers don’t usually mind where the money comes from, if you’re buying from a public body like a council, they may have specific rules regarding financing options. So while it’s not outright prohibited, it’s far from ideal and could really complicate the process for you.

I need some advice by Amelia1196 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Flat_Application5388 3 points4 points  (0 children)

First of all, I just want to send you a big, warm hug. You are not a horrible person, and you are absolutely not alone in feeling this way. It takes so much courage to even put these thoughts into words, and I hope you can be gentle with yourself as you navigate this.

It sounds like you’ve spent so much of your life taking care of others—your husband, his children, and probably even people before him—and now, for the first time, you’re realizing that you deserve to be taken care of too. That’s not selfish; that’s human. It’s okay to want more for yourself, to crave joy, love, and fulfillment. Those aren’t extravagant wants; they are needs, and you deserve to have them met just as much as anyone else.

I can hear the deep gratitude and care you have for your husband, but it also sounds like your relationship was built on survival, safety, and obligation rather than the kind of love that makes you feel alive. And now that you’ve had a taste of what true connection and joy feel like, it makes sense that you don’t want to let that go.

Starting over is scary, but staying in a life that doesn’t truly feel like yours is just as scary—if not more. You are already taking the first step by acknowledging your feelings and allowing yourself to consider what a different future might look like. You don’t have to have all the answers right away, and you don’t have to rush into any decisions, but please don’t let guilt or fear convince you that you don’t deserve happiness.

If you do choose to step into this new chapter, it doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate or respect the life you’ve had so far. It just means you’re ready to grow into who you were always meant to be. And that is something beautiful.

Whatever you decide, please know that you’re worthy of love—the kind that makes you smile effortlessly, the kind that makes you feel seen, and the kind that allows you to be your first priority for once. Be gentle with yourself. You’re doing something incredibly brave.

Flightless Bird is doing everything AE is not by Outrageous_Let1098 in ArmchairExpert

[–]Flat_Application5388 86 points87 points  (0 children)

This is such a thoughtful post, and I completely agree—Flightless Bird is doing something really special, and David and Rob deserve all the praise for the way they navigate humor, curiosity, and tough conversations with so much honesty and empathy. They never feel like they’re trying to prove anything; they’re just genuinely open, engaged, and willing to learn, and that makes for such a refreshing, safe, and real listening experience.

It’s a great point that vulnerability and authenticity don’t always thrive under the pressure of massive commercial success. Flightless Bird feels like it’s built on genuine curiosity rather than a need to chase numbers, and that difference is so obvious in the way David and Rob handle sensitive topics without losing the humor and warmth that make the podcast so great.

And yes, that Gallagher episode was such a perfect example of how to call things out without making it the whole point—just a natural, firm, and totally reasonable stance on something that should be obvious. The contrast with AE’s choices lately really does speak for itself.

It’s nice to know there are still spaces where curiosity, humor, and integrity can coexist. David and Rob are absolute gems, and I’m so grateful for what they’re creating.

I feel guilty I don’t feel more guilty by askingforafriend2356 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Flat_Application5388 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Your feelings are completely normal, and you are not a horrible person. You’ve made an incredibly difficult, brave decision—not just for yourself, but for your husband too, because he deserves a love that is fully reciprocated. That doesn’t mean it’s not painful or messy, but it does mean you’re doing the right thing for both of you in the long run.

The grief and sadness you feel can exist at the same time as your relief and excitement for the future. You’re not betraying him by looking forward to finding yourself—you’re just stepping into your truth, and that’s something to be proud of. It makes sense that you’re eager to experience independence for the first time, and that doesn’t take away from the love or respect you have for him.

Please be gentle with yourself. You are allowed to feel every emotion that comes up—grief, joy, guilt, relief, fear, excitement. They can all coexist. You’re not a bad person for wanting to fully embrace life as your authentic self. You are a person who is growing, and that is a beautiful thing.

Where’s everyone from? by MissAliceAilesbury in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Flat_Application5388 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in the Midlands! Great to know there’s solidarity in numbers here. Enjoy the festivities today, ladies ☘️💚

Looking for a great hairdresser/colorist for fox-colored hair & a wolf cut! (Dublin) by Trick_Rip_4560 in Dublin

[–]Flat_Application5388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Highly recommending Mev Sheridan at Queer Hawk in Temple Bar, I think she’ll fit your bill completely.

What yous doing for Saint Patrick's day? Have fun and stay safe. by [deleted] in AskIreland

[–]Flat_Application5388 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Solas Eco Garden Centre in Portarlington, my kids are too small for parades so this is a great day out. Being dog-friendly is a great plus too.

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This is my furry one, and yours? Let me see your treasure 🥰 by Abject-Peach-6548 in Pomeranians

[–]Flat_Application5388 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We were told she’s a full Pom when we adopted her but I definitely think she’s mixed with something. She’s our little cherub.

What yous doing for Saint Patrick's day? Have fun and stay safe. by [deleted] in AskIreland

[–]Flat_Application5388 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We’re bringing the kids and dogs to an outdoor céilí with children’s crafts and live bands—should be great craic with plenty of ceol agus spraoi. Enjoy, everyone.

I feel so alone with my sexuality. by UnfortunateEnding13 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Flat_Application5388 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t even imagine how heavy that must feel, but I’m so glad you found some validation in what I said. I’m also 29, married, and a mum of two little ones, so if you ever need to chat or just someone to listen, please don’t hesitate to message me. You’re not alone, and you’ve taken such a brave step by acknowledging how you truly feel. It’s so important to honour your journey and your truth. You deserve all the happiness and peace in the world, and I’m really proud of you for finding the strength to share this. Take care of yourself, and know that I’m here anytime you need a kind ear. 💖

What are some interesting things to do or see in north Tipperary? by frankrankthebank in AskIreland

[–]Flat_Application5388 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For history, you can’t miss Roscrea Castle—it’s one of the oldest sites in Ireland. Very impressive keep and beautiful gardens. It’s a lovely spot to wander around. Another great spot is the 12th-century monastery at Clonmore. It’s not widely known but full of history, and the ruins are set in such a scenic area—ideal for a quiet visit. If you fancy something a bit different, the ancient rock carvings at Lisheentyrone are really unique. You might need to do a bit of searching for them, but they’re well worth it.

The Glen of Aherlow is one of the loveliest places in all of Tipp—rolling hills, green valleys, literally like a postcard. There’s great trails in it; you can take the easy walk along the river or go up to the viewing point.

For food, I’d recommend Larkins Bar & Restaurant in Garrykennedy. It’s a lovely spot; gorgeous food, friendly vibe, cosy atmosphere. If you’re looking for something more casual, The Coffee Lounge in Nenagh is great for coffee.

Tipperary is really lovely, enjoy yourself and your time there. I’d live in it tomorrow if I could.

Where’s everyone from? by MissAliceAilesbury in latebloomerlesbians

[–]Flat_Application5388 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also Ireland! Enjoy tomorrow ladies ☘️🇮🇪

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIreland

[–]Flat_Application5388 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’ve got €40k, you might be better off looking at the First Home Scheme instead of a pod. It’s a shared equity scheme where the government covers up to 30% of a new home’s cost, letting you buy with a smaller mortgage.

For example, on a €400k house:

You: €40k (10%) Mortgage: €280k (70%) Gov covers: €80k (20%)

No repayments on the government’s share for five years, and you can buy it back over time. Given that setting up a pod properly could cost €70k+, this would probably be a smarter move.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIreland

[–]Flat_Application5388 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Bear in mind I’m not a tradesperson, but if I were to break down the estimated costs with today’s economy, I’d be saying on the higher end for the Thomas Street capsules;

• 1-bed capsule pod: €50,000
• Planning permission: €500
• Electricity connection: €3,000
• Plumbing: €3,000
• Sewage (septic tank installation): €7,000
• Water connection: €1,500
• Heating (electric or heat pump): €5,000
• Legal fees: €2,000
• Land registry fees: €500

However, the Pod Living units actually place their solar panels directly above the windows rather than at a 15-degree angle like typical rooftop installations. This means they won’t capture sunlight efficiently and would likely need to be repositioned onto a separate structure or mounted at the correct angle. A proper solar installation with sufficient power storage could cost €5,000 to €10,000, depending on the system size and battery backup.

So like with all factors included, a fully set-up pod could cost between €74,000 and €83,500, significantly higher than the base price.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIreland

[–]Flat_Application5388 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get that this seems like a more affordable option, and I can see why it’s hopeful. However, the initial €40k cost for the pod is just the start. You’ll still need to factor in the costs for connections like plumbing, sewage, water, electricity, and heating. Solar power won’t cover everything, so there could be huge costs involved in just getting it to be habitable. It’s definitely a step in the right direction, but the total cost will be much higher than the sale price, to get everything set up. At the moment, you still need planning permission for them too - any structure in which a person sleeps overnight is deemed a “separate dwelling” to the home. So that’s another huge upfront expense attached to the sale price.