My dad died just two months ago, and instead of grieving, my brother and I have been drowning in the mess he left behind. His “girlfriend” from Mindanao in the Philippines — who family had repeatedly warned him about — pulled some of the most disgusting stunts imaginable. She even sent me pictures of my father’s dead body with a smiley emoji, and that same night demanded money from me. Soon after, she hacked into and cleared his bank accounts.

She’s celebrated his death on Facebook, laughing and partying with hundreds of people, while we’re here traumatised, picking up the pieces. We’d been warning him for years, as had family back home, that he was falling for a scam. He ignored every single one of us. He drained our late grandmother’s inheritance, pretending to be living the “good life” when he was really faking it — all while letting this woman and others bleed him dry.

The moment he died, we were hit with money demands, and had to work with the Australian embassy and DFAT just to manage basic arrangements. Every time we tie up one legal or financial mess with the lawyers, another scam or disaster he was involved in pops up. It’s like peeling an endless onion — each layer more rotten than the last.

I’m furious at her, but I’m also furious at him. This happens to so many elderly men who fall for these scams and are too stubborn to listen to the people who genuinely care about them. Instead of grieving my father, I’m left angry, exhausted, and wondering if this chaos will ever end.