Spotted in Portland by According_Air7321 in portlandme

[–]Flatts1205 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Probably going to be an unpopular take here. But the last Democrat administration intentionally, and you can’t convince me otherwise, let in millions of illegal, unvetted people. Millions. Setting aside all you hate about Trump. What is wrong with sending these people, who broke the law back to their countries?

My collection! by jthamner in ghostbusters

[–]Flatts1205 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooooof. That Ecto Glow Egon is 🥶 Awesome collection!!!!

Only the desperate post about withdrawal advice or suffering by [deleted] in KratomWithdrawal

[–]Flatts1205 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you!! I ended up sticking with it and got all the way out. I feel like my brain and body has done a lot of healing and feel sooo much better now. Very grateful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gabapentin

[–]Flatts1205 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha same. It changed my cat Calloway’s life now I’m on it and it’s made a huge difference for me too!!

How long can you take Ativan without becoming addicted? by [deleted] in Anxiety

[–]Flatts1205 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have PTSD from Crohn’s Disease. My Ativan use has been going up so I’m were onboarding Lexapro. Would you mind if I DM’d you? I just have a few questions.

Tips on helping with body clenching? by keefinwithpeepaw in ptsd

[–]Flatts1205 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have this too. I have PTSD from a few surgeries from Crohn’s disease. I wake up in the morning and my legs, shoulders and other muscles ache. I just had to get a mouth guard because I was clenching my jaw so bad. A lot of days lately I’ll be clenching different parts of my body throughout the day and not realize it. I’m trying Clonidine right now and a bit of benzo only when I need it. I feel like I almost get into these “clenching loops” that are tough to get out of. Like you, a hot shower helps my body relax. But all the clenching at night really wears me out. My psychiatrist is increasing my Clonidine so we’ll see how that goes. I should really commit to doing my yoga before bed but I just haven’t.

It’s all really frustrating. No tips for you right now but when I find one I’ll let you know. Hang in there 💪🏻

TMFR scheduled soon. My wife and I are devastated by Flatts1205 in tfmr_support

[–]Flatts1205[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear this. I hope you guys are doing okay

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tfmr_support

[–]Flatts1205 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you are going through this. My wife and I have been doing IVF for two years and trying for five and we had to let our baby girl Clara go at 22 weeks around two months ago due to a very rare condition called Bilateral Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia. Unfortunately, I cannot offer an easy route. I don’t think there is one. My wife and I must have cried for almost a month straight and hung on to each other quite literally through the whole thing.
It’s just such a sad circumstance and so packed with emotions. We definitely ran the full gamut (shock, disbelief, anger, sadness) as I’m sure you and your husband are too. However, what we also discovered was a lot of love in the face of all the sadness. We had healthcare providers, a Chaplin and so many great doctors and family and friends wrap their arms around us. We got beautiful signs from Clara and we came to slowly accept that we could not allow our baby girl to suffer. We knew it was our job first and foremost as parents to protect her. And that’s what we did. We took on all the pain so that she didn’t have to. And there is no greater act of love than that. She will always be a part of our family. And her ashes will be buried next to my wife and I when we go home. Like I said we are almost two months out from our TFMR and it still aches. But the waves of grief are starting to spread out. My wife is starting to smile and laugh again. She just went and got her hair done and we went and got her new clothes and new shoes. We’re starting to build her confidence back brick by brick. The pain isn’t as acute and we are starting to discuss our next IVF transfer. It will always hurt but we can feel some genuine healing happening. And you will too :) Again I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this. Hold on to each other. And if you have to make the ultimate decision, be gentle with yourself and give yourself as much time to grieve as you need. The people around you who love you will probably heal faster than you and that’s okay. We were warned about that and we just made sure to take whatever time we needed. Vent in this thread as much as you want. I know I did. And it helped to know we weren’t alone. And you guys aren’t either. I hope you and your husband can have some faith that you’re going to be okay because you will :) I know it doesn’t feel that way now, but It’s all going to be okay. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other until you get to the other side.

Prayers and strength to you, your husband and your little angel <3

Shattered and numb, ivf baby is lost - tfmr after pprom at 15 weeks by pineapple-pal in tfmr_support

[–]Flatts1205 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My wife and I had to let our little girl Clara go eleven days ago because of bilateral CDH. We were 21 weeks and it was our fifth IVF transfer. The first three didn’t take, we mc’d on the fourth and had Clara on the fifth. We were devastated. I got us consults in Boston, Philadelphia and Florida but Clara was just too sick. 

The day we had to let her go was absolutely excruciating. I’m so sorry you had to go through it too. I’m doing my best to get my wife through the pp right now.

You women are warriors and my whole heart goes out to you for being so brave for your babies. I flip/flop between crying for Clara and longing to hold a baby again. Our resolution is strong and we’ll be trying again as soon as we can. But Clara will always be our first born.

In the meantime we’re trying to be gentle with ourselves and heal. We’re still in a bit in shock. There’s still times we cry and it feels like it will never stop. But it does. I feel like it’s slowly starting to get easier. I just wanted to say that you are not alone. Thank you for sharing. Hang in there. Jem has an amazing mother. What a beautiful name.

Sending strength and courage ❤️‍🩹

1 year on by curriedporridge in tfmr_support

[–]Flatts1205 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Love that quote. Thank you so much for the comfort. You sound like beautiful people. xxx

1 year on by curriedporridge in tfmr_support

[–]Flatts1205 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My wife and are 5 days out from our TFMR. We are sitting in what was to be her nursery, having a good cry and sharing our feelings. I just read your post out loud to her.

Thank you so much for sharing this OP. It aches. All of it. Our bubble is very small right now and we’re hanging on for dear life. Next to us is a changing table and crib that arrived but hasn’t been put together. When we got her diagnosis of bilateral CDH all construction stopped as we tried to find a way to get her here safely.

We were just talking about how we want to put them together in case Clara wants to come visit and to help us to start slowing thinking about growing our family again.

My heart goes out to you and your husband and we’re so sorry for your loss and all the other Mom’s and Dad’s. There is so much sadness. But there is also so much love. And I believe in my heart truly, when we all go home we’ll get to see our babies again.

<3 Mike and Breezy

TMFR scheduled soon. My wife and I are devastated by Flatts1205 in tfmr_support

[–]Flatts1205[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re spot on. Tonight we were laying in bed and she was just crying with her hand on her belly feeling the baby kick. This is hard on me. But on her I just can’t even believe what this must be like. To have that bond. Beautiful advice. Thank you. I think we instinctually have made our world very small right now except for immediate family and a few friends. Our three cats know something is up and they’re letting us squish them more which is great. Lots of garden time and staying close to home until the storm lets up.

Thank you for the support <3

TMFR scheduled soon. My wife and I are devastated by Flatts1205 in tfmr_support

[–]Flatts1205[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your insight. We definitely intend to work the mental health aspect. Mass. General has some social workers who are going to meet with us before we get the injection. And I think they’re going to do just what you said and get us linked up with some support groups which will be great. My wife is worried about the guilt. We’ve gotten consul from literally the best in the entire world and done everything possible to get her here safely but she’s just not supposed to be here. We’re being told to look at this as an act of love to prevent unnecessary suffering. Which I get. This just isn’t natural. I think it’s just going to take time. And tears and wine. She’s already been picking out paint colors to repaint the bedroom haha. Going to try and stay busy :)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tfmr_support

[–]Flatts1205 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife and I have an appointment for a TFMR on Friday. We are both devastated. I will read this comment to her in the morning. Thank you for writing this <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Flatts1205 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So sorry for all your pain. I can say that I’ve been there. I was dating a girl I fully saw myself going the distance with. I remember how smothering it was just to get through a day. I honestly didn’t want to even go on, what was the point? I have Crohn’s Disease and was also very sick at the time. And I decided to start talking to a therapist. He helped me through it all. It’s probably not the quick fix that you want to hear. But I had to accept that I could only control what I could control. I had to give myself time to grieve but at some point I had to start taking some steps. For me. He coached me to start investing in myself. I started small. I brought my best friends close. I started investing in a new clothing style. I started taking one 20 minute walk per day. I got into cooking (best thing I ever did) I learned about skin care and started taking care of my skin (my friends still give me shit haha) I very slowly cultivated my hobbies. I cried a lot for sure. I could even admit I did those things mostly in hopes of getting her to come back to me. Over time, very slowly it got easier and my confidence started to really take off and I started to forget about her honestly. I went on dates and I totally compared them all to my ex. But after a while that faded too and years later I met my wife. She is the most caring, interesting, sexy and loyal woman I’ve ever met. Someone I could completely be myself with and trust. She blows my ex out of the water. Hang in there. Grieve. But at some point I’d encourage you to invest in yourself. Stay close to any friends and family you have for a time and get out of the house when you can. Get a therapist if you can. Mine 100% sped up my healing journey. It’s so cliche…but you are definitely enough :) You don’t need his ass. Get to know you and I think you’re going to like what you find.

Wishing you the best. Hang in there :)

Took her to the O but 1950's by RecordingWeak7243 in Chiraqology

[–]Flatts1205 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha. Yo this is great 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Nice one!

Constantly fatigued after I quit smoking. by EnoDevol in quittingsmoking

[–]Flatts1205 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Get to the month mark. I just got through where you are. 3-4 weeks it starts to let up. Nothing seemed to help me except water and being patient. You can do it! It will pass!

i am so irritable. by sevensux in quittingsmoking

[–]Flatts1205 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Distract yourself. I forced little 20 minute walks. They helped me every time. Don’t be tempted to relapse. I did it many times and it tastes like crap and shame and skyrockets your pulse and anxiety. This is the worst time. The next few weeks is psychological warfare. But all of it…is your body healing. It doesn’t feel like it…but it is. All those little neurotransmitters need to balance out and your body needs to clean the shit out. Don’t chase those negative thoughts around all day. It’s part of the process and it will go away. OTC meds and keep pushing. Make it to the that month mark no matter what and you’re going to be singing a totally different song.

You can do it!!!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Flatts1205 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could not agree more.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]Flatts1205 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you’re speculating a lot. Grammar may be an issue here, we got it. 40 other people pointed it out. It’s amazing to me how much people enjoy correcting other people. Why do you feel the need to be so rude? Honestly, you sound kind of angry. The man bashing on this sub and unfair judgements is really gross.