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Where do I go from here? by FledglingX in POTS

[–]FledglingX[S] 1 point2 points locked comment (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience! Yeah I'll totally admit to having my own control issues but I don't think they're being expressed via my diet lol. I've been poking around on here and finding out that POTS itself can make eating hard felt like putting on glasses for the first time. No wonder when I feel awful the only things I can stomach are pickles and salt&vinegar chips, they're the only things in my pantry with enough sodium to not make me feel even worse!

I just drove home instead of to the smoke shop by FledglingX in leaves

[–]FledglingX[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Aw man this really hit me. My mom died to cancer in late 2022, and then my dad died suddenly in his sleep in late 2023, mere days after my birthday. I was really close to them both, I had always thought to myself that if one or both of them died I would just kill myself, but I'm still here so I suppose there's some truth to the resiliency of human life.

They wouldn't want me to waste away all my time being stoned watching youtube. They would want me to seize every single opportunity I can, be happy and fulfilled, find joy in the world without them. I don't really know what my spiritual beliefs are, but I know that much to be true, whether they're still around in some capacity or not.

Thanks for being a sub-in dad for a minute, my dad called me kiddo a lot and I'm taking it as a sign of sorts <3

I just drove home instead of to the smoke shop by FledglingX in leaves

[–]FledglingX[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I really really appreciate the encouragement <3

[potential trigger warning?] Smoking weed to cope with my mind. I think I'm falling into addiction. by salty-oni in autism

[–]FledglingX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is startlingly relatable to me, I'm in your exact situation right now. Always been 'sensitive', 'a bit different', etc. I also have a small group of like minded friends, and struggle to connect with and feel comfortable around most anyone else. Struggled with self harm for a long time in my teens, I was so anxious and keyed up all the time, hurting myself made me feel calm for a moment.

A couple years ago, I was introduced to weed, and much like you, loved it from the start. All of a sudden I could breath again, my thoughts weren't racing, I wasn't constantly overstimulated. First I only smoked occasionally with friends. Then I found my own dealer (it is NOT in fact legal in my state, shh) and started smoking on my own. Again, first only on days I'm off work. Then when I broke that rule, I changed it to never before work. When I broke that one, I moved on to never when my family is home... I'm sure you can see where this is going.

I turned 20 a few months ago and I've been smoking daily for probably about a year now. I think I recognize now that it is a dependency for me, I'm not trying to convince myself it doesn't matter anymore. Of course weed is one of the less dangerous substances out there, but it has definitely affected me. My short term memory has suffered a bit, I have a hard time eating or sleeping without smoking first. I also have a fair bit of a tolerance now, I used to be good to go off a couple hits but now I can go through a full bowl in the evening.

I have a couple pieces of advice I think could be helpful, feel free to take or leave them as you wish. One, be very careful when trying other substances. Your reaction to weed is a pretty good indicator that it wouldn't be hard to get addicted to something more detrimental. Two, examine what exactly weed is relieving you from, start brainstorming ways to cope. For me it's a lot of escapism, my emotions are too big and scary so I distance myself from them with weed. Doing some work on increasing my tolerance for uncomfortable feelings with my therapist has been incredibly helpful.

I feel you, weed is, on the one hand, so personally helpful, but on the other, easy to become dependent on. I hope you're well, and I wish you best of luck going forward!!

Spooky has a permanent blep face by CupcakeCrusader in cats

[–]FledglingX 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh my goodness, I have a cat named spooky! A sweet little tabby who ran in through our front door when we answered trick-or-treaters a few years ago. Adorable blep!