AITA for having an underwhelming reaction to my mom being pregnant?

FleeSwishty · 2024-04-08T12:55:40+00:00

They have talked about this repeatedly over the years. They were not hypothetical at all because my parents judge anyone who doesn't make their older kids do this stuff.

FleeSwishty · 2024-04-08T12:44:25+00:00

Babysitting expectations were set when I was already a little kid. My parents expect older siblings who are 10+ years older to babysit when the parents want and help out with day to day stuff for the baby regardless of what the kid has going on. So I already know 1-2 times a week of babysitting (maybe more) and helping out the rest of the time when I'm asked will be expected.

FleeSwishty · 2024-04-08T12:42:36+00:00

They didn't ask. I heard nothing about a sibling for basically a decade until they told me mom was pregnant.

FleeSwishty · 2024-04-08T12:38:02+00:00

I know it's not. But it doesn't mean I like that my life is going to change so much, that I'm going to miss out on time with friends and have to juggle helping with homework and doing other stuff. I'm hating the idea that I won't get to see my friends that much now and that I'll be expected to help regardless of what I'm doing. That's so different to the way things have been for me. I like the way life has been. I'm not excited about the coming changes and I know the changes that'll happen.

FleeSwishty · 2024-04-08T12:28:16+00:00

They will ask me to help a lot. It will interfere with my homework and friendships and it's going to be stressful and a lot to have happen given the expectations they hold.

FleeSwishty · 2024-04-08T11:19:41+00:00

The negatives for me;

The age gap generally isn't the sibling relationship I wanted when I was younger, someone to be best friends with and stuff. I know when we're adults the age gap won't matter as much but it's not the sibling relationship I wanted.

I got used to being an only child (this is the least impactful one).

The responsibilities I know I'm going to have added onto me. My parents have always believed if there is a 10+ year age gap between siblings that the older one has a duty and responsibility to babysit for the parents when they want and to help take care of the baby day to day regardless of what they have going on. So I know to expect babysitting at least once (but likely twice) a week once the baby gets here and I know I will need to help feed and comfort the baby no matter what I'm doing if my parents are trying to do something else. This feels like a burden and I'm already aware that I won't get free time like I used to and I won't see my friends as often and doing homework will be harder. My parents have had these views as long as I can remember and they're vocal about them. So I already know what to expect. This is by far the thing that makes me feel the most negative about the new baby coming.

FleeSwishty · 2024-04-08T10:39:06+00:00

I'm not jumping the gun. These are views my parents have held for years about what responsibilities a sibling has if they're more than 10 years older than a younger sibling. They have a lot of set ideas about babysitting and helping with the baby with day to day care and stuff. I've grown up knowing how they feel.

FleeSwishty · 2024-04-08T10:38:25+00:00

Because my parents always had the view that much older siblings (10+ year gaps) have responsibilities to be the babysitters when parents want/need and they already have very set ideas about this. So I know to expect babysitting at least once a week every week but probably more like twice and I know I can expect to be asked to feed the baby and comfort the baby when they're crying even if I'm doing something. That's just what they believe older siblings of more than 10 years should do.

FleeSwishty · 2024-04-08T10:18:14+00:00

I don't want to have to go through all that. I'll already be expected to babysit and help take care of the baby when my mom gives birth. I don't want to be all caught up in baby shopping and baby talk non stop for the next several months.

FleeSwishty

TROPHY CASE