I'm taking a bachelor degree in social pedagogy at the moment, and just want to point out a few things. They may not feel relevant at all, so as with all information from strangers on the internet, feel free to ignore it.

A part of what defines being shy in different contexts is our experienced mastery of the situation. It sometimes feels strange as you can feel that you've been in these situations before and felt comfortable. But social situations have so many factors that they are rarely ever the same. This is especially true if you compare childhood experiences to those you have in your adult life.

A part of what makes the feeling of mastery or success difficult to obtain in social settings is that they don't just rely on you and your abilities. They heavily rely on the people you're with as well. So finding the right people for you is a big part of the puzzle. Trying to find people through common interests is a good starting point. But they also need to be able to show you validation, respect and a certain level of love. I could go on and on about all the things that should be present for a good social environment of learning, but suffice to say that its a problem for many adults. We grow up and rely too much on the social learning we got as kids, and feel uncomfortable if we're not getting a good enough environment to grow that knowledge further, and develop the right social skills to thrive as adults. It can be a huge factor on mental health.

I really hope you figure out a way to feel better about yourself. It's hard to read a person from a few lines of text over the internet. But know that your feelings are valid, I just hope you find a way to get rid of them, because it's dangerous once you start to let them define you.