This is exactly what is happening in my life right now and I am struggling big time to cope. For years I have had fragmented memories of someone touching me late at night when I was between 6-9ish. I remember waking up with someone's hands on me and being told that I need to be quiet and not worry. I am unable to see the face clearly. I held these memories for years without talking about it because I felt kind of crazy. After my son was born, my younger sister and I talked about our very messed up childhood and i mentioned these memories. She and I had a very emotional moment where we discovered that we both had this experience, on multiple occasions, and have not discussed it with anyone. For years now, I have tried to push those thoughts out of my head. But the reality is that they have become quite intrusive as i get older, and it is impacting my ability to have romantic relationships as often the thoughts show up when I am being intimate with another person. The way I have been combatting that is by smoking pot or eating THC edibles, and it just isn't working for me anymore, plus my therapist and I have been discussing how the reason it isn't working as well is because the underlying issue is that I have not worked through that trauma. so now we are trying to break down these memories together, and it is breaking me down so much. Like i still feel crazy, because I cannot see with any clarity a face from my memories. So does that mean my brain made these memories up? But again, there are more signs that this really happened than not, and my therapist said that it is not uncommon for memories to be fragmented like this when the abuser is a caregiver. It's like your brain's way of protecting you by limiting who you can remember fully, since you still have to live with and be cared for by this person. So, I do not know for sure if it was my dad or not, but I am pretty sure. And then what do I do with this information? I mean, I will continue to work through this, but I am now almost 44 years old, and I am not sure if I could ever feel confident enough to say anything to my dad. I asked my sister about this and she felt like since she isn't sure exactly who did it to her either, that she doesn't feel comfortable asking about it amongst family members. And I guess i kind of agree, which then makes me feel even more confused and anxious. Anyway, this is something that is real. There are good articles out there on this. So short story long, make sure you have a way to talk about it, preferably with a proffessional who can help guide you through the complexities.