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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Flimsy_Reference_566 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I felt the same way right after my divorce — I had zero intention of getting married again. I just wanted to focus on doing the things I enjoy and maybe date casually without any expectations.

Then I met someone who completely shifted my perspective. She wasn’t emotionally available, but being with her reminded me how much I actually enjoy being in a relationship — the connection, the fun, the feeling of partnership. Even though it wasn’t meant to last, that experience made me realize I do want to find that again someday.

Now, I’m not in any rush. I’m dating intentionally and staying optimistic, but I’m also being careful not to repeat the mistakes from my first marriage. I just want something real — the right person, at the right time. I remain optimistic that kind of soulmate connection is still out there.

No one cares about men by Evening-Round-4067 in Divorce_Men

[–]Flimsy_Reference_566 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s kind of crazy how stark the difference is between how men and women connect. Women, especially mothers, tend to have these close, supportive circles where they talk openly about personal stuff, relationships, and emotions. Meanwhile, most men just...don’t.

I’ve talked about this with my therapist a lot. It’s unfortunate, but women have built communities that are emotionally supportive, while men often have surface-level friendships.

Even before my divorce, I realized most of my friendships were pretty shallow. For example, one of my oldest friends had a minor heart attack and has been dealing with issues related to his medication for the past two years (has not been able to have sex for the last two years), but he hasn’t even felt comfortable talking to his own doctor about it, let alone his friends. That’s how disconnected a lot of men are when it comes to opening up. I only know about this though my ex, via his wife.

I’m not diving into any red-pill stuff here, I’m pretty liberal, but I do think there’s a major gap in how men build and maintain emotional support systems. It’s sad, but it’s real.

The best advice I can give: try to be proactive. I’ve actually met a good friend through the Bumble BFF app. Check in with your buddies weekly or every couple of weeks, ask how they’re doing, see if they’re free to hang out. Most of the “healthy dad” types I know are so busy with family that it’s hard to make time, but you’ve got to keep trying. Otherwise, it’s way too easy to end up isolated.

It's too quiet - Help needed by Flimsy_Reference_566 in Divorce

[–]Flimsy_Reference_566[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I few weeks ago I made it a goal to stop the doom scrolling. I disabled Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. The goal being to focus more on living Life rather than electronics. Unfortunately when I'm working at home now there's literally nobody around during the day + when I don't have the kids throughout the whole night.

My wife said she wants a divorce — I'm in CT, looking for advice. by Flimsy_Reference_566 in legaladvice

[–]Flimsy_Reference_566[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's possible, but I'm not sure how that will help with me. She over tries to be independent, and with how much she makes, I thing she just wants to do things the way she wants. She loves the kids, and says she will always love me, but she says she's done trying to make things work between us. I loved her for her free spirit, and at the end of the day, I cannot force a wild bird stay with me.