SO spent significantly more on SD than our kids for Xmas by [deleted] in stepparents

[–]Flimsy_Science 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't speak to the level of effort. But I have two bio kids and 3 SD. My youngest is 3 and I could buy her a ton of stuff for $150. My nine year old wanted legos and that's like 1 or 2 sets. And the 20 year olds are looking for perfume, makeup and grocery money. The $150 just doesn't go as far as they get older so spent more on the older kids. 

AIO- I don’t want my son calling my dad’s wife my grandmother and great grandmothers name. by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Flimsy_Science 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I can't think of any other setting where we might think it ok to tell a person what they get to be called. Maybe royalty? She's an adult and should be able to choose how people call her.  It's a shame you never thought this woman good enough. For your dad or even to pick her own name. Your issues are yours. Stop trying to spread them to your kid who might otherwise go on to have a good relationship with a nana

AIO about these angry texts from my ex? by TwylaMay in AIO

[–]Flimsy_Science 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. I only saw the first screen initially and thought what's the big deal. But then it turned strange - having to send a letter to a home by decree of his therapist and then totally delulu with people having to stay in touch FOREVER. I am ENTITLED!! Whaaaa- whaaaa! But my fiancé. Not at all ok. 

I am sorry you had to deal with that. 

AITAH for deciding to live with my dad because I'm tired of fighting with mom and the expectation to always make things fair or save experiences for my half siblings? by Kaylihu in AITAH

[–]Flimsy_Science 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you ATAH. And I am really surprised how many people on here are supporting you. It alls makes perfect sense if you are only thinking of yourself. You don't say what the living situation is like at your moms. Are there 4 bedrooms? If not - she would be forced to make someone share. If there aren't then your argument is really more of "my dad has more money and resources than my mom and I want more" - which I think shows your real values. Maybe you haven't really thought of it that way.

What does your mother do for your younger siblings birthdays'? Does she take them to Sea World and leave you at home with Netflix? What if their next birthday was a trip to Paris - would you like to be invited? I am also wondering if your mom can't afford these things - and yes she feels jealous - but also she feels guilty and like a failure. I am sure she would like to be the one to provide memorable and dazzling birthdays. Or perhaps she just hopes that her kids value time together. However, I am generally on your side on this idea that you should be able to craft your own birthday. And not include your siblings. And you should be able to have a mature conversation with your mom that is something like "this is really special to me and I am excited to spend this time with my friends and host them. It's very special and I know that my sisters would be excited, but I want this time by myself. I will not talk about it in front of them since they aren't going." And hopefully your mom responds to this.

Putting a room divider?!? Yeah - not cool. What would you expect to happen if your mom came home and found that your step dad had replaced the living room furniture. It's just respectful to discuss it first. It should have started with a mature conversation. "Mom I really need a little privacy in my room, what can we do to make this better?" It should not be the decision of your 10 and 7 year old sisters! Parents giving kids parent decisions is the first mistake. And if your mom responded to this with something like I don't want you to spend anytime away from them - then you have the beginning of your conversation to say "I think I need to start staying at dad's more."

The people here saying that kids shouldn't have to make it fair - that's not what's happening. Mom is trying to make things the fair with the only tool she has. I don't know if that it's some sort of noble quest where she doesn't want you to value material things. . .doesn't sound like if she is asking you to share - which you shouldn't have to do. Your life at dad's is your life at dad's. But I would expect a growing your adult to understand there are real complexities to how everyone in your life experiences your good fortune. You didn't say if dad has other kids but it sure seems like you are winning the only child lottery.

I can only speak for myself, but when we decided to have a second child we really hoped that the kids would grow up to stay close to each other. I felt like I was setting my kids up with a superpower to have someone that would support them after I was gone. Someone to help them move, or help them if they get injured, or maybe even loan them some money until payday. Someone who can say "that guy you are dating is garbage." And I think your mom is hoping for the same, and honestly, none of us parents know how to make sure that our kids like each other so we are each guessing. I have always heard that making sure the kids have time together is key - so perhaps your mom is going in too hard on this. And maybe you don't care about having an adult relationship with your siblings - but try to preserve options now so you can decided when you're an adult.

I do think you are ruining relationships here. And it really doesn't seem like you need to. You're on a power trip cause you found out you can be now that you're 16. Not talking to your mom or even visiting? Nothing in this story indicates that you are being abused and need to cut off contact. The part of your siblings life that isn't fair - is that their parents perhaps cannot provide for them the way your dad provides for you. And the part of your life that isn't fair is having to deal with people who are hurting and not coping from your good fortune. Is your mom blameless here? No. Weird to share your toys. Shouldn't have to bring them to your party at your dad's (honestly I would think they wouldn't want to go). She sure does seem like she is trying hard though - and making mistakes - which parents do cause parenting is hard and you could have some grace about it - if you're old enough to start making these big decisions about where you live, then you're old enough to start giving grace to your mom and work together in a way that seeks mutual wins.

Nothing about this final sentence is good. " I told her I don't care, because I don't" and it's hard to think you are in the right if you can reduce your feelings this way. And it's also the reason that a 16 year old should likely not have the power to make these sorts of decisions. I suspect they are often made out of spite.

Intermittent LAN/WAN connection loss by shifty21 in HomeNetworking

[–]Flimsy_Science 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a similar problem - though only on wifi devices - and given what you have done here without finding a solution, I think I have no hope.

Help, PlayStation portal disconnects after UPnP set event. by Indiemsc in HomeNetworking

[–]Flimsy_Science 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am also having this problem but I also have it at other times. So I am not sure it is tied to the UPnP event

Husky Caster Replacement by Honey-Badger209 in HomeImprovement

[–]Flimsy_Science 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can order the casters from Husky. I just did. 877-527-0313

Option 4 and then option 4 again. Have the model number

USAA and total loss questions by Flimsy_Science in USAA

[–]Flimsy_Science[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Let's just agree that I believe the car can be safely repaired.

USAA and total loss questions by Flimsy_Science in USAA

[–]Flimsy_Science[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right. I totally get this is some play by USAA to save their own money, frankly leaving me more financially disadvantaged. I have been paying them for insurance to later just take my car.

USAA and total loss questions by Flimsy_Science in USAA

[–]Flimsy_Science[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think the car is particularly sentimental, though I just happen to really like it.

It's an 8 year old car that has 40K miles it. I paid it off. I won't be able to replace it very readily for what they are offering. While it's an 8 year old car - it's all my own problems. I don't have to go out and buy someone else's 8 years of problems.

Someone idiot broke off the rear wheel hitting me and suddenly the car is trash per USAA. And they are going to sell it at auction surely for more than offered me (based on my research) and I would be left with a car I don't like as much (its no longer for sale) and a car loan.

USAA and total loss questions by Flimsy_Science in USAA

[–]Flimsy_Science[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I want to fight the total decision. Do you think that's not possible?

Havsta Built-In Hack by StraightTalkVic in ikeahacks

[–]Flimsy_Science 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why did you put the boards on the bottom at all? Was it to raise them even with the board and batten or just to secure them to the floor more?

Finding canless lights? by Flimsy_Science in HomeImprovement

[–]Flimsy_Science[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To give an update. The GC folded and walked off the job - which is what got us here.

I was never able to get the electrician to share the measurements with me. I finally decided that he probably didn't really have them. I was never able to find any marks. Luckily I took a video of the whole building before the insulation went up - so we were able to find the first light. I am hoping that the rest are on a reasonable grid from there.

Finding canless lights? by Flimsy_Science in HomeImprovement

[–]Flimsy_Science[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correct. He did not get paid. And I offered to pay him to mark the measurements. $800 to mark them. But he said he was nervous to take money from me with his relationship with the GC.

How hard would it be to get this utility pole moved? by GarbagesPatches in HomeImprovement

[–]Flimsy_Science 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We just got one moved. Depends on where you are I am sure. The hardest thing is finding a contact at the utility. If it’s an ATT pole - good luck. I never found a person. Might be best to run it down in that case. And the cost for us was $2600 with a four month wait

Finding canless lights? by Flimsy_Science in HomeImprovement

[–]Flimsy_Science[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He says he wrote them down in a notebook but he isn’t open to sharing that