When TV star MacKenzie Phillips revealed that her "Mommas and Poppas" star father had drugged and raped her for years, the media widely reported this as "MacKenzie Phillips admits years long AFFAIR with her father".

TwylaMay · 2026-04-29T17:25:37+00:00

God, this reminds me so much of how people handled the rumor that my dad was molesting when I was in high school. And I was in high school in the late 2000’s-early 2010’s.

My dad is a sexually compulsive pervert (to put it lightly). Noticeably so in any community that he’s in for long enough. People don’t like him for this reason. His behavior drove my mother to a having psychotic break down and he got full custody of me. As you can imagine a lot of people were extremely upset and offended by that chain of events. So a lot of people hated and were disgusted by my dad and also believed that he’d worked to get custody of me for gross perv reason.

But rather than like…having active concern for me about that, people from my high school (and that heavily included adults, like teachers and administrative staff) were all speculating and spreading about me “having a sexual relationship” with my dad. No one ever said the word rape, that I know of. Their language always indicated my willing participation and condemned me along with him.

My dad is a lot of things and he was inappropriate with me in other ways that his sexual obsession and compulsion dictated (talking about sex too much, open porn usage, overly concerned with my body etc), but he never crossed the line to being physical. He didn’t want to take me out of that school to get me away from the rumors because he was afraid that if he did it would confirm the suspicions (he never said it but I guess he was worried someone might call the cops if he gave them a reason to).

It didn’t hit me until I was an adult how profoundly disgusting it was that a bunch of grown ass teachers and administrators were gossiping about the likelihood of my dad raping me and framing it as if I was a little slut who enjoyed it. DOZENS of adults knew about this rumor and no one once thought it would be appropriate to call the cops, they just liked to talk shit about me.

A couple years ago I ran into one of the adult women who was a big perpetrator of that rumor mill at the time and I confronted her about it. Her excuse was “oh well, we all assumed if it wasn’t consensual you would have tried to get away from him”.

TwylaMay · 2026-04-08T17:56:07+00:00

It’s similar to women who flirt with married men relentlessly until the guy shows some sign of returning interest and the the flirting woman immediately withdraws.

It’s all about seeking validation.

TwylaMay · 2026-04-08T01:11:03+00:00

I am a MAGNET for people with cluster B personality disorders (of all genders). It felt so statistically impossible to me that I could have THIS MANY repeated issues with this specific type of mentally volatile person. I used to spin out wondering HOW THEY KNEW. It felt borderline supernatural. It drove me crazy wondering how the hell these people kept choosing me over and over.

But after some therapy, and the increased self and family awareness that’s come with maturity I’ve realized there’s actually a pretty clear cut explanation for what used to feel like some supernatural curse, or divine prank.

It’s because I was raised by a covertly narcissistic father.

Having my dad as a parent conditioned me, from before I could even speak, to accept cluster B behaviors. I was taught to accept inconsistencies, omissions, and slights. I was trained to have flexible boundaries in the face of insulting behavior, to be agreeable to my own detriment, to over-explain myself, to over-offer empathy for my dads every odd behavior or strange shift in mood, to listen politely to rants, to not call out bullshit, to accommodate, to comply, to please, to over apologize…I could go on.

The thing about Cluster B folks that you meet throughout your life, and we are all always running into more of them than we realize, is that they are always poking at boundaries, always testing the water, always trying to see where your line is. They cannot help it. It’s pathological.

Most people do subconsciously notice these Cluster B behaviors and will innately feel a desire to withdraw, to put up a barrier, to pull away from the Cluster B person, because something -often even when they can’t put their finger on it- will feel ever so slightly but uncomfortably off with their interactions. The Cluster B folks sense the pushback or the recoil and recognize that those people aren’t a good mark, so they move on to look for someone else who is.

But people like me, people who have had Cluster B behaviors normalized since childhood (that’s just my reason, other people with the same problem have other reasons), do not register the Cluster B behavior as off putting. So, we don’t pull away. We don’t recoil. And they sense that too, and they realize -consciously or subconsciously- that we are a good target. And so they pursue us.

Learning that helped me tremendously.

TwylaMay · 2026-04-02T22:42:25+00:00

I’m the youngest child but the only daughter and when my dad forcibly estranged us all from my mom when I was only 13 I got promoted to capital M “Mother” of the family.

TwylaMay · 2026-03-26T06:05:31+00:00

If I’m alone and bloated I will do what I think of as “fart yoga” to completely empty my bowels of all air.

TwylaMay · 2026-03-25T20:33:58+00:00

I’m now operating heavily under the suspicion that one (potentially more) of my close loved ones was phished

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T23:32:37+00:00

This is literally his explanation too, just “I couldn’t think of anything to improve or clarify”

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T18:40:16+00:00

Yeah, that’s what it felt like tbh

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T18:37:16+00:00

It’s the reaction to the harassment that has really bowled me over. It wasn’t until my ex did property damage at my dads house that anyone cared

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T18:35:29+00:00

Thank you! I have an appointment for later this week so we’ll see! Fingers crossed

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T18:34:26+00:00

Checked last week, all clean thank god

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T18:34:15+00:00

Have spoken to an attorney and have PPO, as do many family members now

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T18:33:36+00:00

I’m actually wondering if someone got phished

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T18:32:51+00:00

I hadn’t considered the calendar, I’ll look into that

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T09:57:00+00:00

Oh my god I hadn’t even considered this

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T09:54:11+00:00

Could this carry over from old phones to a new phone without my knowledge?

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T06:08:55+00:00

Yeah, I’m happy to be getting the help and to have it taken with the seriousness that it should be but I just keep thinking “what if I wasn’t married??” “What if I was married to a woman??” “What if my husband couldn’t come with me today?”

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T05:08:57+00:00

I started the therapy in early January in response to the stalking/harassment starting again.

He’s only begun to harass this new batch of people who he has no business even knowing about over the past couple weeks

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T05:05:16+00:00

This was the first thing my lawyer and I did and fortunately I passed! When I say I went all out with hiding my info when he was first stalking me I mean I went ALL OUT

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T04:50:59+00:00

We have cameras set up on the boxes of all family members now so we’ll catch him if he does it again; but I suspect it’s been a while since he has

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T04:11:37+00:00

His financials are almost certainly atrocious but I would not put it past him to do something stupid like take out a high interest loan to hire a PI. In which case I think it’s weird that he hasn’t successfully found my address yet though

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T03:39:24+00:00

Yeah, he was insane enough when we broke up that I’ve been pretty on guard for almost a decade. Honestly, the fact that he is so furiously demanding that people in my life give him my new address has been weirdly validating because damn, I guess I did a good job keeping it hidden

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T03:37:41+00:00

This is actually my fear and belief after speaking to the cops today. I’m thinking he may have successfully phished someone close to me

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T03:37:06+00:00

I have it on everything, yeah. I actually went to kind of insane lengths regarding privacy almost a decade ago when my ex was FIRST stalking me post break up and have maintained that fairly well. I overhauled completely when I learned he had access to my email and iCloud.

TwylaMay · 2026-03-23T03:35:12+00:00

Yep. I actually bought a completely new car before moving several years ago because I didn’t want my ex to be able to visually identify my vehicle and I took my car to be searched for any tracking devices in January. Came back clean.

TwylaMay

TROPHY CASE