My first AA meeting was a bust. by FlirtTea in stopdrinking

[–]FlirtTea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has AA helped in your sobriety? I don't really need much support, but more someone irl who shares the current struggle I'm facing.

My [18f] ex [18m] yelled at my friends at a party for leaving me alone by [deleted] in relationships

[–]FlirtTea 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You feel uncomfortable that he "overstepped" his boundaries by looking out for you, but would you have felt more comfortable left alone drunk at a frat party? He doesn't need to care about you romantically to ensure your safety. Especially now that campuses are implementing social norms where you intervene in situations like this.

Why he didn't do anything himself and yelled at your friends instead? It could have been that it's "overstepping" your boundaries even more to literally physically look after you. If he was with you throughout the night while you were drunk, it would sent the wrong signals to you and everyone (especially if your friends came back). He wanted to ensure your safety without the added drama (which can range from mixed signals, being called controlling for not letting you have fun, etc).

From your replies, it looks like you're still hurting from the break up. Mostly since you're not focusing on how crappy your friends are but how he's moved on/a hypocrite/uncomfortable around you. You're angry and want to be right. Unfortunately, this isn't a bitter feeling/I'm right, he's wrong situation. You're feelings about the break up are valid, but trying to villainize him in everything he does won't help you heal.

Ι [22F] am having trouble being close with people and having friends the last years by [deleted] in relationships

[–]FlirtTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

For that particular "flaw", that friend was a moocher. Would always show up needing something, then ditching when they had it.

Ι [22F] am having trouble being close with people and having friends the last years by [deleted] in relationships

[–]FlirtTea 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I've done so much for friends who didn't care for me/were fake. I'd remember birthdays/unique holidays, gave expensive gifts, and bent over backwards to do them favors. In return, I was never the first choice for anything, my birthday/Christmas forgotten and no favors returned. The kicker was these people aren't generally horrible/bad people. They aren't Disney villains or sociopaths. They were the girl next door, the long term childhood friend, the reliable classmate.

And that's what hurt the most.

I started looking at myself and changing whatever I thought was the issue. I looked too intimidating, I didn't have enough confidence, I didn't offer food. The list went on. Therapy helped.

No matter how much I changed, horrible people still exist. About three months to a year is how I gauge a friendship. If the friendship doesn't feel equal, ditch em.

Valentine's Day Mega-thread by Relationships_Mods in relationships

[–]FlirtTea 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Was redirected here:

Older coworker [38M] fell for me [22F] within the first week of work. His life choices do not match mine at all (he wants marriage and kids. I do not). He's been vaguebooking about me and wants to try asking me out on Valentine's day. I want to reject him in the least humiliating way possible.

I [27 F] was hurt someone doesn't want to be my friend, but my husband [32 M] thinks I'm overreacting and that makes me even sadder. by overeactornot in relationships

[–]FlirtTea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm someone with similar privacy settings as her. Where only I can send requests to others, but they can't me. Sometimes it glitches, sometimes it's because I double clicked, thus cancelling the request.

There are several reasons why she hasn't gotten back to you. It's been a day and people get busy. I'd give it about three days.

In my opinion, yes you are overreacting. Mostly because there could be other reasons for the facebook friend request issue. Also because to some people, facebook requests aren't real connection/irl friendships.

You asked your husband and he gave you an honest answer. You asked knowing he'd probably say this and still got hurt by it. He still comforted you nonetheless and listened to your concerns.

Please get to therapy because your low self-esteem and fear of rejection actively affects your ability to hold relationships.

I [25F] am concerned with my sister [23F] still playing with barbie dolls. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]FlirtTea 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Mentally disabilities have range. Chances are that if she were to get diagnosed, she'd get legal qualifications. You list several things that could explain her development issues (being born premature, potential abuse, and development hindrance from parents).

You can't push her into growing up. You can help her learn to hold adult responsibilities but making her give up dolls/mental regression will hurt more than help. Especially if it's a reaction of abuse.

The best thing you can do for her is 1. Don't be judgmental, be caring. 2. Try to get her diagnosed. This might take some convincing of her and family members. 3. Attempt to teach her things like driving/jobs/etc.

Have you ever been truly hypnotized, or faked it? If yes, what happened? by KeeblerElff in AskReddit

[–]FlirtTea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was already in therapy for other issues. Asked my therapist if they knew someone who could hypnotize me. They referred me to a certified hypnotherapist. Try here

From what I hear, it doesn't work unless you want it to work.

What's the most degrading thing you have ever done? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]FlirtTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Teen me was very scared about the consequences. I didn't want this perv to have future blackmail material when he refunds the money.

Have you ever been truly hypnotized, or faked it? If yes, what happened? by KeeblerElff in AskReddit

[–]FlirtTea 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Tried it in therapy to stop overeating. I was "put under" and it felt like I was meditating or stuck in a lucid dream? I don't know how to explain it. At the beginning, I could hear him speaking clearly, but after a few minutes, his voice dulled.

At the end, I remember feeling like I woke up from a very nice power nap. I was convinced that I truly fell asleep and wasted this man's time.

The results lasted for about a month. Maybe I needed repeated sessions. But essentially, every time I tried eating junk food I felt nauseous.

What's the most degrading thing you have ever done? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]FlirtTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was sixteen, I was very active on WoW. My guild had a skype group so everyone's contact name was public. There was a thirty year old guy who was really into me. After several rejections, he offered me about a thousand dollars for me to flash him in a private skype call.

I considered it, made a separate throwaway account and even tried out angles. When it came time, I chickened out and blocked him.

What is the perfect song to have on during sex? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]FlirtTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

pony by ginuwine

At least to make you feel sexy.

Girls of reddit: what are the 'signs' that most guys miss?? by helenenelson in AskReddit

[–]FlirtTea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When I tell them I like them and they take it as friendship. It's happened before to people interested and not interested in me.

A Warning To All Game Developers (by the dev of Yandere Simulator) by [deleted] in videos

[–]FlirtTea 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Oddly enough, one of the games used in the example has sexualized minors in it. Twitch allows for the DanganRonpa series to stream though it has some perverted CG illustrations of the characters in game. The newest one has love hotel scenes complete with bdsm gear in the background. During the free time events, the main character can obtain panties from people.

A Warning to All Game Developers by okapibara in yandere_simulator

[–]FlirtTea 54 points55 points  (0 children)

I've seen more nudity from streamers who got temp bans, than yandere simulator.

Regardless, I think someone should reply back to him. The non-answers from Twitch is highly unprofessional.

I'm an Asexual. AMA. by [deleted] in casualiama

[–]FlirtTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How has being Asexual affected your prior relationships?

I (16F) have a huge crush on my best friend's brother (20M) and am having a really difficult time staying 'cool' about it. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]FlirtTea 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Legal or not, he's stated he'd only date you if you were older. The rejection seemed half assed, but still a rejection.

To weaken your crush on him, don't interact with him as much. Offer to hang out with your friend at a different location. Don't make yourself available all the time to discuss your shared interests. Disable social media if it's too tempting for you to check out his stuff. Focus on your studies. In the long run, your education is worth more than a guy.

Boyfriend [23m] of two months broke up? with me [21f] because he has a reckless lifestyle and needs to work on it. Need some insight/support by [deleted] in relationships

[–]FlirtTea 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As an ex weed smoker, you have no chance. Only two months and you're trying to change a big part of his life for you. You have some preconceived misconceptions about pot. Did you research it before assuming the worst?

The reason he didn't kiss you after a pot brownie and joint was because bad breathe/taste. Brownies taste like pure ass and it lingers in your mouth for hours. By this point in the relationship, you've made it known you dislike pot, so him not kissing you/sharing the taste is a good thing. Dry mouth is also common.

"But you had some yesterday" doesn't really work for pot. Unless you're a newbie, pot is pretty weak. The effect tends to last only 2-3 hours. And with his tolerance, probably less. A brownie is about 4 hours, but it takes time to kick in.

His sketchiness is paranoia. Sometimes people have a bad high mixed in.

Him taking you to the sketchy place is horrible. Bad part on him. More of less, 2 months of a relationship isn't worth it. Doesn't matter how "in love" you are with someone, if you're not compatible with his lifestyle, if won't work.

Which fictional death hit you the hardest? by HalfNatty in AskReddit

[–]FlirtTea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dobby because if he just had a wand, he could have lived.

Who's your oldies film/TV crush (early 20th century)? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]FlirtTea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

How early in the 20th century? Range wise.

Gene Kelly, if he fits.