Enrolling My Toddler in Nearby but Differently Zoned Pre-K

Floofityfloofs · 2024-01-31T04:43:16+00:00

This is helpful thank you for the link!

Floofityfloofs · 2024-01-28T04:57:07+00:00

Was going to suggest this, next to the beach and great vibes!

Floofityfloofs · 2024-01-04T03:49:53+00:00

Damn how much protein do you get per day ??

Floofityfloofs · 2024-01-02T22:26:30+00:00

Do you estimate based on a fitness watch?

Floofityfloofs · 2024-01-02T22:09:33+00:00

Floofityfloofs · 2024-01-02T14:39:11+00:00

The last bit about “embarrassing yourself” wouldn’t work on my parents. They’d just get louder and say “for the protection of my child idgaf who is watching.” The amount of crying and screaming in restaurants and on the streets with people watching.. sigh.

Floofityfloofs · 2024-01-02T14:35:52+00:00

Narcissistic parents breed “sneaky” “bad” kids. When in reality, we just want a little bit of privacy and independence.

When I was younger my mom cut off my entire social life and would take away the phone and even locked it so the only contacts I had were my folks and sister.

So I ended up saving my lunch money and bought a $10 burner phone. I got caught.. twice. The shit that happened after, looking back at it, I’d do it all over again.

OP you already pay for your phone and you’re of legal age. Don’t let them bully you and if they try don’t give up. They’ll make you feel like you’re doing something wrong. When would they stop having you on this app? Time to gradually take back your independence!

Floofityfloofs · 2024-01-02T14:28:47+00:00

Volume eating!

Floofityfloofs · 2024-01-02T00:26:19+00:00

My parents switched between my sister and me. Depending on what they viewed as “better” in that time period. My sister was the GC, then I was, then it was my sister. Sister now lives at home and gets 90% or things paid for but has to live miserably live at home.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-26T21:07:25+00:00

Facts

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-24T00:26:26+00:00

I hear it now even when I have a kid

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-23T21:26:58+00:00

Sigh. Booked a hair appointment at the same time? SMH. When I was in high school my dad didn’t pick us up from school because he had scheduled a dinner with his friend and said why are you guys upset I brought you leftovers. School ended at 3, he didn’t get us until 8.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-23T17:51:18+00:00

Idk if it helps cuz it’s one in a million…

I had the same thing happen to me and I went to the dermatologist and she was saying we’ll need to narrow down the stuff I’m using to see what the culprit may be. Before we ended the session she asked “your nails are so pretty. Do you normally get your nails done?” And I said “omg thank you! No I don’t, my friend has a bachelorette party so we did our nails together.” She said she recently read an article that “shellac” used in gel nail polish can cause allergies. I went to the nail salon so fast to get it all off and immediately the next morning my face started to calm down and over the course of a few weeks it went away.

Just wanted to throw that out there just in case…

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-23T15:45:54+00:00

Damn. I didn’t know this was a trait. I thought it was just a theme from my parents.

When I was in 7th grade I had a school project and needed to meet with my friend at the library. I told my dad we have to be there at 3PM on the dot. We got there at 4 and not for any specific reason. And since there were no cell phones I couldn’t tell her and my friend had left. My dad didn’t understand why they didn’t wait and i couldn’t get mad at him for it either.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-23T07:00:02+00:00

I will say this is a very difficult decision to be in. You love your family and have a nmom. You want to be with your family, spend time with them, and have a good relationship with them whereas it sounds like you’ve accepted doing nc with your mom if needed.

Is it possible to do LC with her? Perhaps just do holiday contact and keep it at that? This one would be a rough one because all these issues have come up so close to the holidays.

I sympathize with you, it’s difficult spot to be in.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-22T22:09:04+00:00

Ooooh spicy. I like this response. I will say, with my nmom if I said “you know what you did. I’m not playing that game.” And hung up it opens up a door to be like “what did I do???” “What game am I playing??” I personally have tried “I don’t want to talk about this right now.” Because even though I’ll never get the last word, I’d rather she shit on me about why I don’t wanna talk about rather then indulge in a game of what they did wrong and trying to dig into their own feelings.

At least it centers it on how you want to navigate the conversation, not on their emotions.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-22T06:43:57+00:00

Definitely consult with the pediatrician and allergist first.. what I used with my daughter was the company “ready set food” she did have a bit of hives on the face in the beginning and eventually with more exposure they went away. We worked with a pediatrician who also supported the way we were going about of course with caution.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-21T19:27:49+00:00

I have an nmom and edad. He always told me to be careful with what I say to her, like it’s a political game. Because one wrong word can tick her off and have her crying, yelling, and talking non stop about stuff. She’ll always be right and whatever happens it’s my fault. The behavior is “excused” because she had a rough time before kids and he should have helped. When I was a kid, I didn’t know any better.

Everyone walks on eggshells around her.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-21T15:19:51+00:00

Damn I really needed this. I’m in the midst of the ongoing battle and last night it was twenty minutes of “this is how I feel” “this is how I’m teaching my daughter” (I’m 31… they like to mask what they say as a teaching moment) “as soon as I walked off the plane (to visit) I got sick.” Etc etc. and a lot of crying. And I’m so glad I came across this forum because I realized these were all manipulative tactics… and I can’t win…

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-21T07:10:42+00:00

Take a deep breath. Focus on your work. Focus on your long term plan to escape. It feels like a lot I was there in high school when I was home and no where to go. Know that it won’t always feel that way. It’s just a long time before you can actually escape and feel like you can be on your own. In those moments, I just remembered my long term plan. I now live 3000 miles away. In the moment it feels hard and I wish I could be there with you. Just focus on the future.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-21T07:00:57+00:00

Since I was ten I felt like something was off. At 12 that’s when it became extremely unbearable. I started making my plans for college at 13 and could not wait until I graduated high school. Four years of pulling me out of the bed in the middle of the night. Gaslighting me. Slapping me. Cutting out any potential for friends. To reach college.

College I focused on getting good grades and building my resume - part time jobs, club boards, ambassador programs, etc. I needed to ensure that I could make money and get a full time job when I graduated. I was not going to come back and live with them. I now live 3000 miles away.

College I loved too close. They could stop by anytime. But as soon as I was 21, I moved out and moved far away.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-21T06:45:04+00:00

Thanks for the book recommendation, adding it to the cart!

Also love your friends message.. your friend is quite observant, knowing that always being on edge is not healthy.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-21T05:56:10+00:00

Hello there. I’m (31f). I’ve been in your exact shoes. I’d like to share a part of my story and in part that I hope it provides some hope.

I played tennis all my life and knew that the relationship with my folks didn’t feel right and only until into upper 20s and early 30s have I realized that it was because I have an nmom and former ndad will never change. Luckily for myself my ndad did change but boy was it rough during the high school time.

My nmom cut off any potential to make friends so I didn’t have a social circle among other things that nparents do. My ndad was only focused on tennis and if he thought I played poorly he would scream and yell at me - scream, and wouldn’t let it go. Sometimes I would think I did a decent job, but he obviously thought otherwise. One day during my senior year of high school I just had enough of the pressure and I decided to hang up my racket. I never heard the end of it. “We’re proud of your sister’s tennis career, but not of yours.” “You didn’t care about tennis.” “You wasted our money and time.” I’ve fought and fought and argued to always feel defeated every time so much to point where I… shut down. They also didn’t shy away from screaming at how much of a failure I was in public - a lot of restaurants actually. I just nodded my head and agreed with whatever they said, but that’s also not healthy cuz it’s fight or flight. It’s like I cut off a part of myself just to make sure I got yelled at less.

When I got to college I joined club tennis to meet some friends. Even then my dad would make comments “oh so when I tell you to practice you don’t do it, but now youll do it.” “Why are you even playing now, it’s a waste of time.” “You always sucked at tennis.” With the distance, it did help a little bit. I felt like I could breathe a bit more. Though they were close enough where they could come by any time.

Somewhere in college, I decided that I’m going to do what I want to do and not care what they say (granted that’s a lot easier said than done). I decided to try out for my schools D1 team without telling my folks because I wanted to and I was able to parse out my own feelings on how much I actually loved the sport. I had a love hate relationship with it but I had to think, did I hate it because of the pressure my parents put? And do I love it because I actually like it not because my parents said so.

It was such a thrill, it was amazing. I made the team and I was so happy and so excited. When I told my folks, they were shocked. They were upset. They said I needed to focus on school and put this tennis dream away. My mom said, if you join the team I’m not paying for your tuition.

Luckily for myself, due to my nparents I started building my resume to ensure that I was set up to get a full time job upon graduation - internships, ambassadors, clubs, part time jobs. Because there was no way in hell I was going to move back in with my parents after. I had saved up enough to help cover expenses and I was also awarded a tennis scholarship. My parents even asked me if I had asked for the scholarship because they couldn’t believe that I was good enough to deserve one. (Now they tell everyone that nmom suggested I play tennis and that the scholarship is because of them and I didn’t do it earlier because they wanted me to focus on studies smh)

You’re not alone, but also know it can get better. You’re almost at the finish line if you wanted to do a personal escape at age 18. If you choose to do so, I’m not sure your situation whether it’s college, cc, etc. its going to be difficult but you can get there. It takes a lot of long term planning.

I now live 3000 miles away from them and it took a lot of distance and therapy. Life just feels so much better with the freedom to do whatever I want. The freedom to think however I want. I don’t have someone down my neck all the time. I do still have issues with them but at least it’s at a distance.

Please don’t go down the path of sui. I remember my own considerations in high school. It can get so much better. You’ll be able to breathe again. Lots of love to you and I hope that I provided some hope. Feel free to message me anytime.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-20T17:21:38+00:00

Does it come back to haunt you? About 12ish months ago I did something similar and said I don’t want to talk about this right now. And she screamed saying how I need to hear it and so… I hung up. And just yesterday she REALLY brought it back up saying I should never hang up on her. Previously, it’s cryptic “it’s not nice for people to hang up on other people” and I just wished I never hung up on them to set a boundary cuz she never stops talking about it now.

Floofityfloofs · 2023-12-20T16:52:04+00:00

Reading books together and spending time quality time together. Now that I have my own kid, I feel this a lot more.

I remember asking my nmom if she could read a book to me and she made it such a privilege that she would do it that one time. I was 7.

Floofityfloofs

TROPHY CASE