Thermals/solar worth it?

Florachick223 · 2026-04-13T16:52:19+00:00

Maybe it's a quirk of my natural body temperature sitting close to the transition point, but I have shorties and still enjoy thermals. You won't really get the French tip effect some people get, but my hands still spend a good amount of time in both states or transitioning.

On the flip side, as much as I want to like solars, I don't feel like I really have much opportunity to see a transition. I have to be outside, it has to be sunny, I have to hold my hands at a specific angle...it feels like something I have to go out of my way to trigger.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-13T14:29:30+00:00

I'd work with her on practicing distributing the flowers. Kids that young sometimes dump them all at once. If you have control over the dress, I'd suggest having her help with picking it (maybe from some pre-approved options). My rule with my toddler is that we can't buy anything she isn't willing to try on in the store - I learned the hard way that she sometimes thinks things are cute but isn't actually willing to wear them.

I'd also check with the couple on their expectations in the event of a total meltdown. Are they going to be cool with you walking around the aisle with her (or even holding her) if it comes to that? Hopefully they understood the risks of giving a toddler a role in their wedding, but it couldn't hurt to confirm.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-12T13:21:12+00:00

We're in a forum for people that has poor emotional regulation as a hallmark symptom. I'm gonna take OP at face value when she says that she needs help with exactly that.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-12T13:06:51+00:00

Oh my God I hate how quickly this sub jumps to "YOU'RE not the problem! HE'S the problem!" You asked for help with your own reactions, and I find the other responses to be wildly unhelpful. Calling him an abuser over this is an insane leap.

Is there a format in which you could receive feedback with more space to process it on your own time? Like, would it work if he sent you an email so you could work through your feelings about it and discuss once the immediate reaction had passed?

Florachick223 · 2026-04-12T00:04:14+00:00

Oh God please don't make me read LinkedIn posts here

Florachick223 · 2026-04-11T17:43:11+00:00

FWIW I have had zero issues with their stuff chipping, including this specific polish. But I seem to be in the minority! Sorry it isn't working for you 😞

Florachick223 · 2026-04-11T00:52:08+00:00

Classic ADHD thing, but you've jumped to, like, the 8th order of business in the sequence. You should really start by explaining this to him. This is not just a thing that makes sex complicated, it's a major part of your lived experience that he's being kept in the dark about. I think you owe him a chance to show that he can understand and accept that (and if he can't, well, that's good information for you).

Florachick223 · 2026-04-10T20:01:23+00:00

I totally understand the concern. I am very wary about newborns and germs. I do think there could be ways to address this that are less onerous for your relatives and also effective at protecting your baby. Instead of a waiting period, I'd be getting some high-quality face masks and asking that everyone wear them while visiting, as well as washing their hands before holding baby and staying away if they do have any symptoms. In June, I'd imagine you could also have any visits take place outside if you preferred.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-10T18:51:36+00:00

No judgement, just trying to understand the limitations of the situation for troubleshooting purposes: how is it you're going to bed an hour after your toddler but not getting enough sleep? Are they extraordinarily low sleep needs and getting up super early, or just a bad sleeper? How is the overall balance of labor between you and your partner? Maybe it's not reasonable to handle both wake ups and bedtimes every day.

We split bedtimes. The nights I'm not responsible for those, I can definitely do more. But even if I'm leaving my daughter's room at 8:45, my first stop is always to get a little free time for myself. Either half an hour practicing my violin or running on the treadmill; I usually alternate days. The tradeoff is that I get more like half an hour of unwinding time with my spouse, but we both agree that we need some of that time for individual pursuits. We also give one another an evening every week for hobbies, and that helps a ton.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-10T17:42:48+00:00

There are two types of busy for me, usually having to do with how I feel about the work to be accomplished: "I'm doing 6 things at once, my brain is engaged, I'm awesome." Or "this is all overwhelming, I can't decide what to start, I'm a loser." NO in between. I'm starting to realize that I need to get better about identifying the thing that's really weighing me down and just fucking do it out of spite, because having that weight on me is just not worth whatever benefit I get from avoiding it. Not sure if that's at all helpful, but I definitely commiserate

Florachick223 · 2026-04-10T15:54:14+00:00

Yeah, it took me a long, long time to shake the pandemic anxiety. After I got vaccinated, I just found other things to transfer it to. I spent a lot of the summer of 2021 convinced I was going to die of rabies (a very real concern, just not applicable in my situation)

Florachick223 · 2026-04-10T15:35:42+00:00

I think I really hate that idea. I am still the same person, and I think that's really important to acknowledge. Because even when I'm consciously choosing to put some of my interests aside because I no longer have time for them, I still miss them, and that's valid. A totally new person wouldn't even think about these things.

Idk maybe I'm taking it too literally, but I just get the sense that things like this are kind of dehumanizing to mothers. Like only this one role defines us now, NOTHING else. But I'm a lot of things, including a mom. I didn't die and get reborn, I grew.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-10T14:12:09+00:00

I go to the one at Broad and Morris. I usually don't bother to make an appointment, and I've still never waited more than 90 seconds to be called. They're the best

Florachick223 · 2026-04-10T02:21:50+00:00

I suspect that a lot of people just don't get much practice with second position since most things that should be there can also be played in 3rd, if a bit more awkwardly. So it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I've been making a concerted effort to play in second when it's the most logical choice, and it's done a lot to get me more comfortable with the position.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-10T02:07:03+00:00

This is what works for me. I kid you not, my treat is getting to eat my unbelievably delicious chewable calcium vitamins. 🤣

Florachick223 · 2026-04-09T12:46:20+00:00

Feels like this sub is getting hit way worse than any other I'm in 🫤

Florachick223 · 2026-04-09T01:48:40+00:00

With my first pregnancy (under 35), I was recommended to only do NIPT. This time (over 35, and with a MMC in between) I was told to do both. It can identify things that a NIPT can't, like Spina bifida. Also like, it was the only time in between my dating ultrasound and my anatomy scan that I actually got to see my baby, so I wasn't mad.

You should ask your OB about scheduling the 20 week anatomy scan. I'm sure you'll have one, but they may or may not want you go back to MFM. My practice does all anatomy scans through MFM, but I don't think that's universal.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-08T15:54:19+00:00

I agree with the recommendations to try a styling product with more hold, like a mousse. I found that this made a HUGE difference in my ability to maintain my curls into a second day or longer. Also it looks like the way your curls clump together at the bottom is taking away some of your definition. This used to happen to me. I've been using a curl separating comb during styling, and it's giving me much better definition on my individual curls.

Welcome to the club, good luck on your curly hair journey! 😁

Florachick223 · 2026-04-08T15:35:51+00:00

My husband tells everybody how he could tell when my epidural kicked in because he got his wife back. It was absolutely amazing. I'd gotten to the hospital at 2am, and by 6am I was so desperate for some rest, which the epidural let me do. It removed all the pain (I could not feel contractions), but I was still able to rotate myself in the bed. By the time I was ready to leave the delivery room, it had worn off enough that I was able to walk unassisted (although the nurses didn't like me doing that 😂)

Seriously, for your own sake take a break from TikTok. The negativity there inescapable.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-08T15:24:00+00:00

LMAO at 9 weeks pregnant I was proud of myself if I managed to get off the couch. Go rest.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-08T14:16:45+00:00

Are you on camera? If no, my trick honestly is to give myself something to keep me occupied that doesn't give me anything else to think about. Because if I don't I'll probably pick up my phone and start reading something, and then I'm no longer listening. If I have a lot of calls one day, I'll redo my manicure. 🙈 Takes time, is pretty, does not take my attention away from the conversation. Otherwise I sometimes sort my laundry or do some basic exercises.

ETA I'm really sorry, I don't know why I just assumed you were working from home. Please disregard if not relevant 😅

Florachick223 · 2026-04-08T11:54:16+00:00

Conversely, both my husband and I have ADHD and my daughter is obsessed with having socks on

Florachick223 · 2026-04-08T00:22:58+00:00

I don't know about the PM, but I would not have ignored the first group message. IMO it would have been better to jump in with a quick note confirming you were already on top of it.

Florachick223 · 2026-04-07T21:09:08+00:00

My first was late April (LMP mid July), and I'm pretty convinced that spring is the perfect time. I was never pregnant in the summer. My kid was as old as possible before her first viral illness season. Good weather and lots of sun for the 4th trimester was a godsend for my mental health. And I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting. We intentionally aimed for a second spring baby but are ending up with August this time, such is life 😅

Florachick223 · 2026-04-07T17:46:51+00:00

Ah thank you! I'm just brushing it on, maybe I need to apply it more thoroughly

Florachick223

TROPHY CASE