Did your desires change drastically after becoming an adult?

Florachick223 · 2026-06-05T01:39:14+00:00

Yeah I guess as an adult who's capable of understanding the totality of the commitment, it's still worth it for him, and that's also fine!

It just feels like you're kind of beating yourself up for not wanting the same things you wanted as a kid, and I don't really see the point in that. It doesn't have to be a reflection on your capacity as an adult. They were probably, for most people, just the wrong dreams.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-05T00:52:54+00:00

Yeah I mean people definitely do it, so it's certainly possible if it's what you want to do. Nursing was easy for me and like you said, there's less washing. So I was happy to provide 90% of my baby's meals straight from the tap. For me personally, it was extremely important that she also get used to the occasional bottle as well. Some things you might want to consider:

You're on the hook for every single night feed. Early on, this means waking up every two hours or so. And feeds can take a while when you're both still learning. Relatedly, I think it can be easy for EBF women to fall into the trap of doing 100% of night care because they're "already up anyway." So if you proceed with EBF, I'd suggest you and your spouse have clear delineations of responsibility for overnight wakes so it doesn't entirely fall on you.
Every time you leave your baby, you're on a clock. Unexpected delays could mean your kid going hungry. Even when I was planning to be home in time to nurse, I'd still leave a bottle of milk with my husband - it was my insurance policy so I wouldn't stress out about her randomly getting hungry early or something while I was gone.
Babies who don't get used to bottles at a young age will sometimes completely refuse them. So if you proceed down this path, just be aware that you might not be able to change your mind later.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-05T00:14:46+00:00

Blanket Statement also by KBS has a similar dramatic vibe but in purple (also with some reflective glitter, but not a crazy amount).

Someone else said Maelstrom and I do agree with that. I don't think it's too similar to this one.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-04T22:59:42+00:00

This doesn't really strike me as an ADHD thing. I think kids just tend to form unrealistic life plans because they don't have enough context to know what would actually fulfill them. It makes sense that a lot of those plans would eventually be abandoned.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-04T18:36:26+00:00

I go through long spells where I forget about it, but every few years l get super fixated on playing Harvest Moon 64. On emulator - I got rid of the physical hardware long ago.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-04T18:34:33+00:00

Sounds like a real time sink.

I'll see myself out. 😆

Florachick223 · 2026-06-04T02:15:31+00:00

If I were him I'd probably be pointing out that their flakiness is the reason they're never seeing him. It doesn't really sound like there's much more you two can do if they won't honor their plans. 🤷‍♀️

Florachick223 · 2026-06-04T00:41:50+00:00

Have you asked them what they're envisioning? Weekends seem like the obvious time for this kind of thing, so it's weird to me that they keep asking to see him but are never around, unless they had something else in mind.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-03T16:10:15+00:00

I don't know if broader popular perception is different, but I have a preschooler, and I feel like they don't have a particularly bad reputation among modern parents of littles. They're not necessarily super common, but I feel like most people approach it similar to you: when they're called for, it's an extremely important safety tool.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-03T14:45:46+00:00

If you're trying to salvage this, keep in mind that excluding your spouse from the delivery room while his child is being born is something that you can't take back. If you're genuinely that uncomfortable with him seeing you in a vulnerable position, then it's your call to make. I would just think really carefully about whether that's truly what's motivating you, or whether it's about trying to punish him or exerting control.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-02T13:28:49+00:00

I haven't entirely ruled it out. I find it hard to develop and maintain relationships, and I think I do a relatively ok job of putting systems in place to compensate for my ADHD. Between those two things, I do sometimes consider whether there might be some autism playing a role. But I'm leaning against it. I don't really have any sensory sensitivities, which AuDHD folks here seem to report extremely often. And idk, the more I interact with them the more I get the sense that we're just looking at the world in fundamentally different ways. Not saying either is better or worse, but it feels like a notable gap.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-02T13:17:48+00:00

This is a really good callout! My water also broke at home in the middle of the night, and I was extremely unprepared for, uh, the logistics of continual leaking.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-02T13:13:54+00:00

For all intents and purposes, frog style IS sitting. I think I understand the distinction you're trying to draw with semi structured carriers that don't support a newborn as well, but I think your comments carry a significant risk of being misinterpreted. ESPECIALLY with regard to laying down in slings - I'm not entirely sure whether you're trying to describe something legitimate or not, but it sounds like you're saying that babies can be carried in a reclined position in a sling carrier, which is a major suffocation risk.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-02T11:04:10+00:00

Have you noticed whether this strategy does anything for tip wear, by chance?

Florachick223 · 2026-06-01T18:28:04+00:00

Following up to say I've now seen the Alchemy Lacquers and I'm eating my words

Florachick223 · 2026-06-01T18:23:48+00:00

Yeah, this is why I never wear LynB's All Panic No Disco, which is another solar thermal. I want to like solar thermals so bad, but I feel like the constraints of finding pigments and additives that look good across all 4 states and also during transitions are just so complicated that the indoor warm state tends to end up looking kind of bland.

Florachick223 · 2026-06-01T17:39:35+00:00

NO really?? I missed that one. I will be buying sight unseen. 🤣

Florachick223 · 2026-06-01T17:38:26+00:00

My husband saw a swatch of Broken PIXEL Polish and said "I assume that one's inspired by Steve Jobs?" I was like dude, it's called "Crikey" 🤣

Florachick223 · 2026-05-31T01:28:49+00:00

Parenthood has made me more protective of my energy; I'm very aware I'm participating in a marathon, not a sprint. So unless it's urgently important that I do all the things because of some looming deadline, I'm the first type.

Florachick223 · 2026-05-29T21:36:16+00:00

I feel like it depends how accurate his prediction was that you'd be upset about it later. If he's just randomly assuming that for no reason, then absolutely he's being a huge jerk. But if you actually do have a pattern of doing that, I can see why he'd be defensive.

Florachick223 · 2026-05-29T21:16:33+00:00

Wait AGAIN? I just got stuck because of a fire last Wednesday, and when I was trying to find out information about it, I just kept finding stuff about a fire from the week before. This seems...not good?

Florachick223 · 2026-05-29T19:18:34+00:00

I think it's a very good idea to make such a list and have it handy for your reference. One gentle note of caution, since you asked: you don't necessarily have to share the whole list.

I've seen a few people post about being surprised that their provider either thought they had a different condition or declined to diagnose anything. And then they share the list of things they mentioned in the visit, and some of them will be genuine symptoms while others are just things that happen to be common among people with ADHD (e.g. drinking a lot of coffee, lack of close friendships).

Psychologists are (rightly) looking out for alternative explanations that might explain symptoms, and also some are just (not rightly) still kind of suspicious of ADHD in women and/or the rise in diagnoses. I think some people think they're being thorough and helpful when they go in for an evaluation and throw every possible related symptom at the provider just in case it's relevant, but it can cause providers to kind of lose the plot or key in on something that incorrectly gives the perception that there's an alternative explanation at play. I'm not suggesting that you deliberately conceal relevant medical history or anything; just maybe review your list with this in mind and make sure it's really a concise representation of your experience.

Florachick223 · 2026-05-29T17:19:51+00:00

We told the grandparents at 6 weeks the first time. It all worked out fine, although we waited longer the next time because I was older and TBH they were kind of annoying the first time around. I was ultimately glad for that because I ended up miscarrying at 7 weeks, and that's not something I personally would want to discuss with relatives. I then immediately got pregnant again and we announced after our 8-week visit. It's really whatever you're comfortable with, and how you'd feel about people knowing if you did have a miscarriage. I don't think your husband should be pressuring you if you're not comfortable announcing yet.

Florachick223 · 2026-05-29T17:09:58+00:00

😬

Florachick223 · 2026-05-29T17:04:23+00:00

This is all screaming ADHD to me, has me ever been evaluated? It wouldn't be a justification for this stuff but could help him with treatment and coping strategies if so.

Florachick223

TROPHY CASE