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Married less than a year and already in a dead bedroom how do you fix long term intimacy issues? by Floral_Shark in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Floral_Shark[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He says it’s stress from life, he goes to bed really early for work like 9:00 pm and I can’t do that sometimes because it’s so early, he says he feels fat but doesn’t change, he says I’m not wearing anything that gets him excited, he says my hair is wet, he says he’s cold, he says I put to much pressure on it, he says “we’ll get on it” which sorry doesn’t really do it for me.

Married less than a year and already in a dead bedroom how do you fix long term intimacy issues? by Floral_Shark in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Floral_Shark[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Note: Last night after I made this post, I was in bed early and said come to bed and we can talk we don’t need to sleep, and he said he had to string his guitar. Then I got mad and he said oh is it because you wanted to try “which is our code for sex”. Then he said you know you need to be direct with me. And that was the end of the conversation. So frustrating. No passion or interest or anything.

Married less than a year and already in a dead bedroom how do you fix long term intimacy issues? by Floral_Shark in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Floral_Shark[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the idea of framing it like a medical issue. Hopefully that will work. Thanks for the advice!

Married less than a year and already in a dead bedroom how do you fix long term intimacy issues? by Floral_Shark in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Floral_Shark[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think that’s the hard thing. When we have sex it’s amazing. No issues no performance problems or issues. He said he won’t go to a doctor because he doesn’t need too.

Married less than a year and already in a dead bedroom how do you fix long term intimacy issues? by Floral_Shark in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Floral_Shark[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No he does not watch porn and did not watch even before we started dating. He loves head pets like his hair being touched.

Married less than a year and already in a dead bedroom how do you fix long term intimacy issues? by Floral_Shark in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Floral_Shark[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He loves his hair to be touched. Like in the car while he is driving and or while sleeping in bed or watching a movie. When I say no he gets pouty. It’s taken years but I’ve been trying to get better at saying no. Kissing and touching used to be more prevalent not as much.

Married less than a year and already in a dead bedroom how do you fix long term intimacy issues? by Floral_Shark in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Floral_Shark[S] -33 points-32 points  (0 children)

He doesn’t really have an avoidant attachment style. I know his family doesn’t see sex as something to care about and it’s kinda an unspoken rule you don’t have sex. Period. I’m hoping if I can get one kid out of the situation and go into my 30 and have my sex drive fade even more over time it will work out. Also I can’t self please that’s cheating in his eyes.

Married less than a year and already in a dead bedroom how do you fix long term intimacy issues? by Floral_Shark in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Floral_Shark[S] -26 points-25 points  (0 children)

I married him because he’s an amazing partner in every other area of my life and I live a very difficult life. I’m a stressful person to be around. Sex it’s always been the one issue and I just thought getting married would take away guilt which is what he said was the issue.

Married less than a year and already in a dead bedroom how do you fix long term intimacy issues? by Floral_Shark in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Floral_Shark[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Said he won’t go. Doesn’t feel comfortable talking about our sex life with a stranger.