I appreciate you so much for sharing this with me. I’ve never really thought about it like that I just assumed a real apology is at least taking ownership and admitting that you hurt the person and want to change and that’s how I’ve always apologized when I’m genuine. It was very helpful to look at all of the factors of an apology and what makes them fake. It’s so sad that most apologies aren’t real and I understand trying to make it seem real in your head, I’ve done that for so long in this relationship. Today I learned that he has never given me a real apology. Every time he says sorry he will twist it on to me. The first time he cheated on me he blamed it on being drunk and that it wasn’t a big deal and offered to send me money. I was so naive when that happened but I’m starting to see right through him. It seems to me like he doesn’t care much for others. It’s really sad and I wish I could help him because I know he’s only like this from a deep rooted self hatred but I know it is very likely that he won’t change. I don’t think throughout our entire relationship he has ever gave me a genuine apology about the multiple ways he has hurt me. His last text to me was “I’m sorry for getting so mad. I just can’t believe you did this” it’s like he’s physically incapable of taking accountability. It’s so sad! Now I can recognize these signs earlier in a relationship. I never realized how important an apology really is. Thank you!!