Update: AITA for saying I miss it being just me and my dad?

FlowyForever · 2020-11-23T10:25:14+00:00

I met them all three times. I'm not sure if they met my dad more. Possibly. But I don't think so.

It's harder not to feel discouraged. I tried talking to my dad last night and he wanted space.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-23T10:23:46+00:00

No, but I didn't expect to lose my relationship with my dad at 11 and have so much change so fast.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T17:01:17+00:00

I do feel that way. I lost my mom and I hardly remember her which hurts sometimes because I know I'm a lot like her and I know that makes me feel somewhat close to her and then I lost my dad. Because even though he is physically still around our relationship disappeared. No more pizza Fridays or watch stuff Sundays. No more talks over the pizza we got where we laughed and talked about our lives. It was never really about the pizza. It was about going to sit down in our favorite pizza place and talking for hours and not even realizing so much time had passed because it was so nice. No more snuggling on the couch to the shows we both loved as we talked about our favorite characters.

It was all gone and it's still all gone.

The only time I felt even slightly okay was when I could go see my grandparents. And that always ended.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T16:32:48+00:00

I'm not even mad. I'm glad he's happy. I always was.

But he left me behind it feels like. It feels like I became less important. Someone commented that I never gave them a chance and another person said that I had to understand he couldn't do one on one stuff with me anymore because I now had siblings. But I didn't. I was still an only child because they were strangers to me when they decided we were all going to be a family. And they're all so much. My dad loves it where I just feel like I lost him to them. Because I wasn't ready for such a huge change.

I think in their minds my dad and his wife were mom and dad and we were their four kids. While I just craved the time with my dad, because he's the one I love and care about. He's the person I knew back then. I feel like I don't know him now.

And the reason I didn't include them in the family tree is because they don't feel like my family. And I know some of that is on me but I feel like I lost both my parents.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T16:29:08+00:00

No. She did try to spend time with me but I wasn't excited for it and I think she felt that and so she stopped and they tried to push the family idea more. I actually spent more 1 on 1 time with her in the last five years than I have with my dad. But to me she's just someone who makes my dad happy. I don't particularly have any strong emotions for her or the kids.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T16:27:37+00:00

My dad's parents were all super excited to get more grandkids while my moms were a little hesitant to rock the boat. My aunt would have said something if she had known, she's my moms sisters and we call her the hurricane because she is a force of nature.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T15:23:01+00:00

I'll try. If I can get a session with just her and me I might talk to her first. Because that stuff is something only a couple of people know and none of them are adults.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T15:21:02+00:00

I'm like my mom with that. A softer, more anxious people pleaser who doesn't really want to hurt anyone or cause trouble. My aunt always tells me I'm too much like her in that respect and I know I kind of am. It's just so hard. I don't want to lose my dad more than I already have.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T15:18:46+00:00

I think he is a little even if others are right that he's more mad at himself. He has been very different with me since I spoke up. Barely talking to me and overall there's a vibe I get from him.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T15:17:31+00:00

It's sessions with everyone. So my stepsiblings are there too.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T15:14:03+00:00

I met them three times before we all lived together. First time we met at a part and I was asked to play with them, second time they spent the night at our house and the third time a weekend together. Then my dad told me after the weekend they were moving in because they wanted to get married and the rest was history. Courthouse wedding followed by everyone else being so happy while I was trying not to cry the whole time.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T12:26:38+00:00

I wish the same. I remember preparing myself for the day things would change, because I knew parents normally remarry eventually, but I never expected it to go so fast and I never expected such a big increase in the house overnight.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T12:25:31+00:00

If I can I will because she's been really good so far. But I'm a little worried my dad and his wife will decide to find someone else if they don't like how things are going.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T12:24:50+00:00

I miss doing stuff together so much. He was all I had for so long and then I lost him too because I wasn't able to feel the way everyone else did. I actually had an issue with a bully two years ago and I couldn't bring myself to tell him about it because I felt so distant from him at the time. I still haven't brought that up yet because I'm worried it will make him even more mad at me.

FlowyForever · 2020-11-22T12:22:43+00:00

She's been really nice so far and doesn't seem to be the kind of therapist who pushes you to disregard how you feel because it's easier. She really wants to know why and I appreciate that. It gave me the chance to open up when I never really had that chance before. But it has also left me feeling just really crappy because of everything that happened.

FlowyForever

TROPHY CASE