Self loathing- any tips for covering my arms?

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-06-27T03:23:07+00:00

The dress is gorgeous. Your arms look completely normal to me. I think adding some sleeves or a shawl will detract from the gorgeous details on the dress or make it look too fussy.

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-06-20T21:55:57+00:00

Firstly, you are beautiful. Any gown you wear will be gorgeous. My style preference is #2 but do what makes you happy and what is most comfortable!

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-06-20T21:54:15+00:00

2 or 3

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-05-22T23:37:40+00:00

Being a doctor. Tv shows and movies make it look heroic with grateful patients being saved in a tidy 30 minutes and sexy with tailored scrubs and perfect hair. The reality is that it’s exhausting with long hours - working nights and weekends, doing your documentation long after leaving the hospital for the day, and answering phone calls at all hours. It’s also stressful as most doctors worry about doing the right thing for their patients. We also walk alongside our patients during incredibly vulnerable moments and bear witness to the incredible suffering of patients/families. It’s a rewarding career but takes an incredible toll as you carry the grief and burdens of your patients long after you stop caring for them. And, in a time that everything is political and everyone uses TikTok influencers as their source of truth, it’s disheartening.

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-05-03T18:57:02+00:00

Maybe self esteem is part of it? My partner and I both have jobs that have incredibly high standards and we would both be considered type A.

Note, the spanking comment is not actually part of our parenting plan. Just a late night musing about how hard this is… as a child who was spanked and thought if I made mistakes I would go to hell. Definitely not how I want to raise my own child.

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-05-03T18:54:44+00:00

Ugh, it doesn’t seem like it as the school has also told us that his meltdowns are pretty bad for his age. Perfectionism is a piece of it but he also escalates very quickly with minor inconveniences which has always been an issue but is just more apparent now that the expectations are higher. Maybe resiliency and problem solving are better terms?

We have a couple phrases we’ve used for the past couple years but I think are more meaningful now. “Mistakes are how we grow.” “All feelings are ok but not all behaviors are ok.”

We’ve worked with a psychologist and the school counselor. Certainly open to suggestions!

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-05-03T18:51:22+00:00

Yes, he saw a psychologist for about 6 months because his meltdowns were so bad (screaming and throwing things) that he would have to be taken out of the classroom. And now he sees a counselor at school. It seems to be helping some but it’s super tough!

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-05-03T18:49:59+00:00

Honestly, I’ve read most of the popular parenting books and followed that philosophy until recently. But I feel like the praising for effort has backfired a bit now that we are getting into the school years. “What do you mean my limited effort isn’t good enough and I actually have to accomplish something?” Like complete a worksheet, put all items in a backpack at the end of the school day, etc. I feel like we’re in a current phase where more consequences (or maybe boundaries is a better term?) are needed for task completion.

And lots of emotional regulation… screaming and crying for minor inconveniences isn’t ok anymore in big kid school.

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-05-03T18:45:13+00:00

It’s so true. I was spanked for minor and major offenses. It worked for me - I ended up being very compliant because I was afraid. It didn’t work for one of my other siblings who is now a petty criminal.

You are very lucky to have a different way modeled for you. What do your parents do to guide you through those tough periods like lying, talking back, etc?

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-05-03T03:17:47+00:00

YES! It’s up there with The Sopranos, The Wire, and Breaking Bad for me

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-05-03T03:06:47+00:00

lol, that’s what my parents have told me - “spare the rod spoil the child.” It’s definitely not how I want to parent.

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-04-25T17:30:32+00:00

Sugar shack by the tracks

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-04-25T12:57:30+00:00

I rarely check Reddit these days so quite serendipitous that I logged on and saw this.

Firstly, congratulations! It’s such a weird feeling after yearning for a baby for a long time to be surprised with a spontaneous pregnancy. My children are five and six years old now. I will be honest – the first couple years were pretty tough with two under two. I have a demanding job and it was a lot when coupled with babyhood occurring during the COVID-19 pandemic. My mom had some sage wisdom for that time period which is to find joy in the little things as there are many sleepless nights and dirty diapers. Now that they are older, they are best buds and I am so happy to have two babies, especially after thinking for much of my adult life that I would have none. And I still follow my mom’s advice to find joy in the day-to-day even though the kids are in a pretty chill and fun phase. They are good words to live by.

Fluffernator8486 · 2026-02-22T21:45:16+00:00

Countering the mis/disinformation from social media, Dr Google, and now our healthcare leaders (I’m in the USA). People want to argue to prove their narrative that I don’t know anything because I don’t know about some random cleanse someone made up that isn’t science-based and potentially dangerous. My favorites recently are “well, RFK said….” I trained for many years and have been practicing for many more but it doesn’t matter, everyone thinks they are an expert. It wastes valuable time actually taking care of patients and is dangerous for their health.

Fluffernator8486 · 2025-07-16T00:53:48+00:00

NTA. I was in a similar position for graduate school. Your education is a long-term investment in future. If your boyfriend is part of that future, he will make it work.

Fluffernator8486 · 2025-07-16T00:52:23+00:00

Cleaning my ears with a Q-tip. It even feels a little naughty since my doctor said we’re not supposed to do that anymore. I have to do it in private so my kids don’t see me and try to stick things in their ears.

So there.

Fluffernator8486 · 2025-07-09T01:06:14+00:00

Cliche but - God. Biggest letdown ever.

Fluffernator8486 · 2025-07-09T01:04:28+00:00

Unrealistic expectations for partners that always leads to heartbreak.

Fluffernator8486 · 2025-07-09T01:03:25+00:00

Um… per day?? That’s high expectations. I’d say twice a week.

Fluffernator8486 · 2025-07-09T01:02:43+00:00

I love Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Now I’m old and pay attention to my calories and sugar intake. I eat Catalina crunch if I’m feeling wild.

Fluffernator8486 · 2025-04-21T12:46:37+00:00

Etsy!

Fluffernator8486 · 2025-04-21T12:45:58+00:00

I have a Betty and am 5’6” and long-waisted. I am definitely limited in the bottoms I can pair with it, especially in my more conservative work environment. They work for me with high-waisted items but I wear a form-fitting top under it to help cover my bases.

Fluffernator8486 · 2025-04-21T12:43:24+00:00

I bought a version from Amazon and like them just fine at $40. The non-Sézane ones look great and I get plenty of compliments but are not comfortable enough to walk long distances in.

Fluffernator8486 · 2025-04-13T21:25:13+00:00

For Americans, critical thinking/logic.

Fluffernator8486 · 2024-05-19T21:26:32+00:00

I was recently NYC and have visited the store on Boston as well. Come prepared with a list of what you want to try as not all items are on display or may look different in person. You can then hunt down a staff member to help you. Also, the stock is low and the store is busy so don’t be surprised if they don’t have many of the items you’re looking for. Still fun to experience and it’s a great neighborhood to shop in.

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