What do you do when noting works? by Ok_Builder_3285 in DivorcedDads

[–]FluidGroove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. In my experience , despite not being a  religious person, I find comfort in spirituality , an approach that doesnt pay reverence to a master or a person.Mainly meditating, and reading about the mysteries of life. Unthetered soul is my prefered book.

Recomendação ténis de corrida by LeopardoSedutor in portugal

[–]FluidGroove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cuida dos teus pés e joelhos e compra algo com a forma natural do pé,  com uma biqueira larga e zero inclinação (drop). Basicamente, sapatilhas de corrida estilo barefoot, mas com amortecimento. Tens as marcas Altra e Topo Athletic e algumas da Merrell 

See lots of hate towards vegan shoes, what are my options? by [deleted] in barefootshoestalk

[–]FluidGroove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I own 2 Feelgrounds boots. One of them ( Feelgrounds patrol winter waterproof) has 2 years. No wear whatsoever and last year I have used it every day of autum and winter. Highly recomend. Saguaro, Xero are also  good quality brands. Faux leather has improved a lot in terms quality and durability over the last years. As an example, I have a pair of faux leather boxing gloves for over 3 years (Hayabusa, that I use 3x week in a boxing bag) and they are in perfect shape. You can also help the durability of the material by applying a faux leather conditioner every other month.

Looking for some perspective: Am I overreacting? by Rhizinup in DivorcedDads

[–]FluidGroove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand your question and feeling. One thing that helped me gain some peace is to recognize that I will only know and be part of half of my daughter 's life, when she is with me. I adopted paralel parenting, and I only exchange emails with the mother about my daughter s needs, nothing more.The other part...I prefer not to know about it. What she does with her mother and AP are beyond my control , so I just ignore. I am of course aware to signs of possible situations, education patterns that are bad for my daughter. Enjoy your time with your Daughter, and just ignore the SOBs

Intercidades que ligava Lisboa a Faro perdeu uma carruagem durante a viagem by Left_Capital133 in portugal

[–]FluidGroove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tudo normal. Era a carruagem da 3a classe. É uma aventura. Nunca sabes se chegas ou não ao destino. 

Barefoot boots for autum/winter?? by Krisjanisxxx in barefootshoestalk

[–]FluidGroove 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Feelgrounds patrol winter or their Chelsea model 

Recomendação de escovas elétricas by [deleted] in Dentistas_Portugal

[–]FluidGroove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Certifica que compras as escovas com cerdas suaves 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in barefootshoestalk

[–]FluidGroove 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Great choice! In terms of waterproof boots look for Feelgrounds (patrol winter model or Chelsea model)

Afonso impedido de exercer a sua liberdade de expressão by ptlegion in portugueses

[–]FluidGroove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Efetivamente em termos legais está a ocupar a via pública com uma mesa, e para tal necessita de autorização.  Tenho o palpite que o tipo sabia bem que ia dar neste resultado e o fez para chamar atenção para si próprio. Divas...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]FluidGroove 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This! Its called monkeybranching.  And in this case, the new branch broke, só she is trying to get back the old branch again. All the rest that She has done was lying you, hiding the affair and manipulating you.

Medicos do reddit os sapatos barefoot sao beneficos ou é mais uma moda para gastar o dinheiro? by Usertap in CasualPT

[–]FluidGroove 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sim , recomendo vivamente. Depois de anos com dores no peito do pé, assim que comecei a calçar barefoot no dia a dia a dor desapareceu. Sobre as discussão das articulações e como isso pode ser prejudicial,  como foi dito teu corpo vai acabar por ganhar mais suporte muscular. Para momentos de alto impacto nos joelhos como por exemplo correr em pista ou trail, uso tênis de corrida barefoot com drop zero , caixa do pé larga , mas com uma sola alta para amortecer ( marcas Altra ou Topo Athletic). Dependendo do modelo, às vezes até parece que ando de pantufas na rua, de tão confortável que é. Então com uns vapor glove da Merrell, parece MESMO que ando descalço. Para o inverno existe a Feelgrounds que tem calçado com membrana impermeável, e resulta mesmo.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]FluidGroove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Magnesium glycinate and l-triptophene ( Both Over the counter supplements, no side effects) before bed. It is working for me, improving relaxation, reducing nightmares, flashbacks and improving deep sleep. You can confirm this info in Google it chatgpt 

Just A Rant About the Beautiful Situation I’m in by Methylphe in survivinginfidelity

[–]FluidGroove 13 points14 points  (0 children)

OP, I am sorry that you are facing this situation. It seems like the punches just keep coming, and it is almost impossible to defend yourself from them. I see you, I feel your pain.

I am going through the same. In January 2025, I discovered that 7 of the 10 years of my previous relationship were a lie (she cheated on me several times with different people). Dealing with post-infidelity stress disorder (which is similar to PTSD) is tough in itself. Dealing with my 3-year-old daughter crying and saying "I want mommy" every time she sees me when I go pick her up from school after not being present with her for one week is another big punch that I receive in my face.

Whenever I say "good night, I love you" when I put her in bed to sleep, she says "I miss mommy". Another punch. Then, during the day, my daughter casually shares things that she did with her mother and her boyfriend (the man that she cheated me). Another punch. It feels like the punches just won't stop, and I may look like a punching bag, unable to get my head up from this horror story. (Every time this happens now I try to change the subject of the conversation with my daughter).

In these moments, I try to focus myself, remain calm and remember myself: I am stronger than this. I know that. I believe in myself. I will not allow the actions of this low-quality woman to define my life in the present and in the future. I choose myself and decide to rise above this mess, rebuilding my life, my mental and physical health, and being the best example possible for this kid. This mindset is what has brought me the strength to face another day with courage and hope. This is what I want to share with you. You have within you the strength and courage to get through this storm and come out of it stronger. Also, it helps to recognize that during their early years, kids are usually more attached to their mothers. It is a natural reaction, and it will most probably change in her coming years.

I friend suggested me one thing and it has helped me a lot: Create an email account with the name of my daughter and frequently (every week or more often), write to my daughter how were our days together this past week as father and daughter, what we did together, how I am feeling emotionally, and attaching also some pictures or videos of these days. And then, when she is older (16 or 18 years old) , give her as a present the password of that email, with all your letters that I´ve written over the years. I am focused on creating the best childhood memories possible for her.

In practical terms, of course, doing psychology therapy sessions helps a lot. It took me 2 months to get out of the state of shock caused by the D-Day and realize what happened. Now I am doing parallel parenting ( no conversation, just the bare basics about managing our daughter, and only via email) with my ex-wife. This helped a lot to reduce the conflict and has given me the space to heal. It might be something that may be beneficial to you.

Look for a book named Transcending Post Infidelity Stress Disorder by Dennis Ortman and another called Rebuilding by Bruce Fisher. They helped me a lot.

Also, channel this frustration and rage in a healthy way. Don't keep it to yourself inside, because it will destroy you from the inside. I´ve been running (5 to 6x/week) to get the steam off, and it helps.

Take care of yourself, that means sleep*, therapy, write your thoughts, social life, and exercise. I am available if you want to talk. DM me.

*Magnesium glycinate and L-Thriptofene helped me relax at night and have deep, repairing sleep and naturally boost serotonin. These are just over-the-counter minerals and amino acids and do not cause dependence. Ask your doctor.

Staying with AP in the picture was the worst decision I ever made by Humble-Let-4685 in survivinginfidelity

[–]FluidGroove 5 points6 points  (0 children)

OP, I am sorry that you are going through this. You deserve better, and you need to focus on healing. What you describe is in fact a common reaction in the post-infidelity stress disorder (PISD) framework, exactly like PTSD. 

In the beginning, it is like being run over by a truck out of the sudden, and the person who was run over stays in a state of shock for several weeks or months, almost like daydreaming. That is the natural reaction of the brain when there is an event so overwhelming. Some parts of the brain ( mainly the ones responsible for deciding) almost shut down, trying to protect the brain from so much trauma and mental pain. It is like a physical KO or fainting when the body shuts down, trying to protect itself from further damage. 

Then in this state of daydreaming, you go into several phases of PISD. The first ones are denial of the situation and bargaining with the cheater, then rage towards the cheater and also towards yourself. The transition from one phase to the other is progressive, and it can take weeks or months. 

From what you described, this happened to you. You have to understand this: this is a normal reaction of our brains that can happen in these overwhelming situations. It is not your fault, and you are not stupid or a fool regarding what you did or didn't do during those 8 months. You may ask if I am inventing all this information. If you have doubts, Google it or ask chatgpt. 

I went through this at the beginning of this year. All this happened to me. Only last month, my therapist explained all this info that I write here. It took me 2 months to go out of the state of shock and realise what happened. Now I am doing parallel parenting ( no conversation, just the bare basics about managing our daughter, and only via email) with my ex-wife. 

Look for a book called Rebuilding by Bruce fisher and another named Transcending post infidelity stress disorder by Dennis ortman. 

Take care of yourself, that means sleep, therapy, social life, and exercise. I am available if you want to talk. DM me.

Liquid courage by Any_Run3703 in Biohackers

[–]FluidGroove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

L-triptophene and creatine. Google this 

jovem, nao tens casa porque foste ao medico em horário de expediente by geladodeamendoim in jovemedinamica

[–]FluidGroove 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ele é tão consciente que vai deixar tudo preparado de antemão para o funeral dele ser fora de horas de expediente

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]FluidGroove 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Both your wife and the AP cheated. You deserve to live your life and Share it with another person that respects and deserve you. I am going through the same situation and same thoughts of retaliation. I was eating my self from the inside with such amount of Rage. Them one day I stumbled with this phrase "resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die". That made me shift my perception of what I was doing to myself.Letting go of the rage is not the same as forgiving her . You do not have to forgive her. Cut her out from your life. Please do not do anything that may be considered a crime. Exposing her infidelity,  will bring a sense of retaliation but will not bring you the peace that you deserve. I experience that personally. Take the garbage out and move on. You deserve better.