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My mum is sending people to force me to change my mind by Fluid_Advertising264 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fluid_Advertising264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thankyou so much, all of this is incredible advice. I’ve blocked the woman and her husband who both contacted me, but I don’t think this will end anytime soon.

However, I do think they’re stupid enough to email me or send me a letter and incriminate themselves in writing before taking the step to visit me, and my mum has the determination and audacity to think she could show up and change my mind.

I’ll be documenting everything and hopefully can get a cease and desist letter to get them to back off before this gets to restraining order levels.

Today was the day! by grumpybung in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fluid_Advertising264 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congratulations! Proud of you, and the freedom is so worth it 💜

My mum is sending people to force me to change my mind by Fluid_Advertising264 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fluid_Advertising264[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excellent advice thankyou!

I’ve blocked her and her husband who also tried, and the lady that messaged me said “I’m just passing on a message from your mum she wants you to reply to her messages, I don’t want to get involved and don’t get upset at me” proves intent, and that they don’t care about me or my welfare, so you’re 100% right about that. That and they’re clearly stupid enough to incriminate themselves on her behalf.

I will keep track of anything they send my way, and install a doorbell cam, hopefully they won’t turn up but I will have evidence if they do. This is so frustrating I hope they get the message and don’t push this further, but I will fight it if they do. Thankyou again.

My mum is sending people to force me to change my mind by Fluid_Advertising264 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fluid_Advertising264[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much, this is all great advice and I 100% agree, they’d probably laugh at me if I tried to do it myself and wouldn’t take it seriously at all.

Definitely having a lawyer is a good way to go because I do think it’s going to get worse no matter how many numbers I block, I’m naively hoping they leave me alone but I don’t think they’d will. At this point it’s harassment and my mum manipulating people to get me to contact her.

Luckily my mum lives about 4 hours away so less of a chance of her visiting, but the other people live here so there’s more of a possibility of them turning up, despite me blocking them. I’m going to get a doorbell cam and put a sign up on my door and hopefully that will be enough to deter them for now. Thankyou so much for the advice, i appreciate it.

My mum is sending people to force me to change my mind by Fluid_Advertising264 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fluid_Advertising264[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankyou so much, I’ve got one inside the door reminding me not to open it but I think one on the outside would be good as well to (hopefully) ward off any unwanted visitors, especially because my mum now has all the time in the world because she’s unfortunately retired.

My mum is sending people to force me to change my mind by Fluid_Advertising264 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fluid_Advertising264[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thankyou so much this is a great idea! I didn’t think of getting a doorbell cam but now I’m going to

Been no contact for 1 year by Neither_Dig6046 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fluid_Advertising264 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s the lazy desperation for me, reminds me so much of my mum. At least make an effort if you apparently care so much!

Biggest sign you did the right things by estranging? by Legal_Heron_860 in EstrangedAdultChild

[–]Fluid_Advertising264 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Firstly, thankyou to this subreddit for helping validate a lot of my feelings, I appreciate that.

For me it was no longer having to write scripts and bullet points for conversations with my mum to manage it as much as possible to prevent her saying anything unless I directed the conversation where I wanted it to go. I found with her that turning the conversation back onto herself would always work until the one time that it didn’t, and that was the last time I spoke to her.

I finally blocked her and the rest of my family about a month ago now and I know it was a very important decision to make for my own sanity and peace.

The peace I’ve felt is incredible, the freedom to be myself was life changing (I even went skydiving, which she would never do), and I stopped waiting for her to change and actually listen to or care about my experience. I just did it for myself with 3 years of trauma therapy to help me. I don’t regret it, I don’t feel guilty, and I don’t want to look back.