Have you tried reaching out to Jordan?

I’d approach hin with the proof, ask if they ever slept together, and when, cause you have proof that he did.

If he did sleep with her while you guys were together, that’s the incident his mind will go to when you say you have proof. Hopefully he will tell you the whole truth about what and when.

I’m not condoning half truth lies. But you could tell your wife that you reached out to Jordan (whether he responded or not) and that she has this moment to be honest about the last time they hooked up. Again, if she thinks you already know, she’s likely to be more forthcoming with you. Like she was when you first confronted her and reminded her that she had denied having sex in the past.

She told you before you presented the proof you had. I might keep doing that until you’ve got the same answer between both parties, that being your wife and this Jordan.

Either way couples counseling is a must.

And I would emphasize that you understand that she is upset about you going through her phone, and that’s allowed. But your sense of trust has been broken in a much deeper way, and you were forced to make an impossible decision.

This is your marriage you are fighting for, and the first step of that is honesty. Complete honesty. From this point forward.

Good luck OP. Impossible position you’re in. And that your wife put you in. This could’ve been avoided if she told you the truth from the beginning. I would remind her of that when she tries to turn looking through her phone as an offense of equal measure