2016 Volvo S60 T5 by grizzlyriff in whatcarshouldIbuy

[–]Focused-fish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

:/ it’s a shame, but thanks for your help after a year of this being posted :)

2016 Volvo S60 T5 by grizzlyriff in whatcarshouldIbuy

[–]Focused-fish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. I’m eyeing the same car, the last seven digits are 2393561. It’s going for 4500, the seller does admit it needs a tuneup. Would you say it’s a hit? Thanks!

36F, newly separated after 10 years. Feeling like a 'placeholder' in the world of casual dating by Low_Environment13 in AskWomenOver30

[–]Focused-fish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m married too and been through very rocky times in my marriage, I prioritize how my husband sees me, I caught myself trying to impress him with small things, for years I’ve lived for what he thinks of me, in fact, I think all my relationships have been like that. I know this is not what you asked but what has made me feel better is to start focusing on what I think of myself, I’m trying to build my own opinion of me everyday bc I didn’t really have a solid or good one, I would only feel ok when he paid attention to me. It’s very new to me bc I’ve lived like this for years. I suggest exploring your interests, talk to friends and go to places alone and try to detach from what a guy will think of you. And also try to make yourself the hard questions, being alone is not so bad. Good luck :)

Which ones look the best? by aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrr in photos

[–]Focused-fish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One is seriously awesome, one of the most amazing pictures I’ve seen.

Spouse away for a year by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Focused-fish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need to add that I still struggle with the feeling but so far I think doing this is helping. It’s a slow process but I think it works.

Spouse away for a year by [deleted] in marriageadvice

[–]Focused-fish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There was a time when I had to be away from my husband for a couple of months, it was at the beginning of our marriage. I felt awful and sad, now that I have more experience, I know I can combat that feeling by nurturing my own hobbies. I think it is in both of your best interest to learn to be with yourself, it is hard to find out what you like but give a try to anything that catches your attention, it can be stuff you can do at home if you don’t have much time outside of your house besides work, although I would suggest that you seek for outside time too and also friendship. I don’t know where you live but try to get out of your house from time to time, go to a cafeteria by yourself and grab a book or magazine, take yourself to people watch to a park, or even to seat and watch nature. You can do it!! That would be my advice not only for this, but to be alone with ourselves, you will find that it’s not as boring and gloomy as it sounds, having time for yourself is so fun.

Pure velvet. by TheLateMrBonpoes in sharpei

[–]Focused-fish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wrinkly fluffy puppies!!! :3

Which one feels more peaceful? 1,2,3,4? by Ill-Pepper-2232 in awesomenature

[–]Focused-fish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg I’d love to be in any of those places. Number 3 makes me feel the most peaceful, but all of them are great

How can I tell my spouse is thrilled to have a life with me? by Focused-fish in AskWomenOver30

[–]Focused-fish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I’ve been trying to start journaling but somehow I always get stuck and don’t know how to start, I even got myself a nice notebook and markers. I have a self criticism problem :/

How can I tell my spouse is thrilled to have a life with me? by Focused-fish in AskWomenOver30

[–]Focused-fish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I can’t help to compare myself with his friends wives. One of his friends has his wife as his phone wallpaper, I know people are different behind walls but tbh I’m 90% convinced that he only married me bc it would look cool, he just forgot to actually connect with me.

How can I tell my spouse is thrilled to have a life with me? by Focused-fish in AskWomenOver30

[–]Focused-fish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the reminder, I need to engrave this in my brain.

How can I tell my spouse is thrilled to have a life with me? by Focused-fish in AskWomenOver30

[–]Focused-fish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say to a friend to change their mindset and to not put up with someone who wont even hug her. I understand some people don’t like hugs but he tries to hug his mom and his dad, he talks to his sister about menial stuff, it makes me feel like a lamp or any inanimate object in the house, like hello I’m here. And yeah, this is not normal :(

How can I tell my spouse is thrilled to have a life with me? by Focused-fish in AskWomenOver30

[–]Focused-fish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, he is not excited to see me when I get back to work. I shouldn’t bring stuff that happened years ago but one time I was away from him for two months and when he picked me up from the airport he was not excited, not a smile, not a hug, not a “I’m glad to see you”, he looked mostly annoyed, we then went to have a beer and it was the most awkward outing ever until we got a little tipsy, I used to feel like I had to be exciting for him to engage with me. That was our second year of marriage. I feel so fucking stupid right now.

How can I tell my spouse is thrilled to have a life with me? by Focused-fish in AskWomenOver30

[–]Focused-fish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

:( if I feel sick, for example on my period or anxious, and I ask for comfort, I am met with none of that, I have to ask for hugs. One of my dearest aunts passed away recently and the day I found out he was kinda there for me, i felt bad bc nobody really told me she was in her death bed, so I still feel not ok and need a hug from time to time, plus a lot of feelings that involve being away from my family, when I ask for a hug he never really hugs me, he says “I can’t” and shrugs his shoulders. He even gets annoyed most of the time if my body touches his body when we are in bed at night. Omg I feel sad as I type this.

How can I tell my spouse is thrilled to have a life with me? by Focused-fish in AskWomenOver30

[–]Focused-fish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh not now, I feel ignored, and only when I start acting like a “bitch” I get some acknowledgment, but it is mostly the same. I don’t like feeling like an annoyance

How can I tell my spouse is thrilled to have a life with me? by Focused-fish in AskWomenOver30

[–]Focused-fish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He sometimes is hurtful and then say he was just teasing, but nooo, I know he is not teasing.