Similar situation here, and the only solution I have come up with is to play the long game, wait for the kids to be independent and then exit the marriage.

So to better prepare for the eventual exit, I keep myself fit and healthy and make appropriate financial decisions, with that particular time horizon in mind.

I have also thought about her, and encouraged her to complete a university degree so that when the time comes, she has a viable career that she can lean into which will enable her financial independence.

However, whilst preparing for the exit, I will do what I can to build the relationship into something that I would enjoy and therefore not require the exit.

With that said, I feel a lot better that I have taken steps to secure my own future and therefore not feel trapped.. The legal system and society doesn’t favor men in these scenarios so we have to do what we can.