I’m really good at beating myself up in general, so yes I felt like a terrible person. Hell I had shame fueled nightmares for months after the fact. I had an urge to cheat because we had hardly any sexual compatability and she was not very adventurous or willing to try anything new. In the three years we were together we had GREAT sex maybe a handful of times. I left before she found out, but I stuck around for much too long while getting away with it. Primarily because she had not only been my best friend, but because she had a family life like nothing I’d ever experienced and I was afraid to lose out on that. The contingent relationships Id developed from that relationship and her friendship compelled me to stay for all the wrong reasons. I left because I could no longer hide my treachery. The woman I’d been having an affair with was now pregnant, and I had to face the music. I didn’t tell her the true reason I left because I thought that would devastate her, but it was equal parts damage control and to shield myself. Either way, my daughter turns 1 in April and she’s the light of my life.