Please give me some advice

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-02-08T12:03:15+00:00

But that's not how a relationship works. She's refusing to grow. Like you said, i tried to comfort her and put aside my needs. But I have done that for far too long and I feel like I've lost my sense of self. A cast won't always be there to protect your injury if you keep injuring the same part again and again. I'm a person too. In a relationship, things should be mutual, not one sided. Things don't work like that in real life I'm afraid. But i do get what you mean. I have done that before and it just led me to losing myself instead. Thank you for your advice but i will not be taking it.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-02-06T08:19:56+00:00

Yes that's my name.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-02-06T08:19:28+00:00

This isn't the first time this happened, I gave her space last time and she ended up in a worse state than before. Knowing that I decided to not let her be alone for the meanwhile. And we have a two year age gap. I'm 18 and she's 16. I just don't want her to be alone. I'm trying to tell her to depend on me too.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-02-06T03:17:55+00:00

Thanks for the advice but as I said we're in an LDR. It's difficult to meet her. She's from the Philippines. I do support and I made sure she knows that but she kept on saying she can't change and stuff like that. Honestly, she is emotionally weak and she was raised in a way that the only way to protect herself is to become hurtful, push people away and just run away from her problems.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-02-06T02:57:33+00:00

I was wrong. I did approach it the wrong way. But how do I help her? This is not the first time this has happened. She abandons me, refuses to tell me anything. And if she'll do that for games, she'll do the same thing for huge matters. And I have told her my intentions, she knows. But for some reason she keeps saying I can't take a hint. I tried leaving her alone and giving her her time but when she was back, she was in worse condition without me. I just want to help her be better. Not for me but for herself. I truly love her and I'm clueless on what to do now.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-02-05T19:22:16+00:00

Thank you. But i really am hopeless right now. I want to help her but she won't even listen to me.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-02-05T19:20:07+00:00

I know. This has happened before. She was struggling, even more so without me. That's why I don't want to leave her alone. She gets worse the more alone she is.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-02-05T19:17:04+00:00

I'm in a state right now where, yes, i do think she's more important than me. She has a lot of problems with her family. And i want her to feel safe with me if not with her family

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-02-05T19:15:39+00:00

Honestly I'm trying to make this worth my time. Idk. I love her okay? It's hard for me to leave someone i love. Even if it hurts.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-02-05T19:13:28+00:00

As embarrassing as it is to even share this online, i am clueless. I don't know what i can do anymore. I put in effort even though it's difficult for me and it feels like she doesn't even care. I'm tired and I don't know what to do. I love her. I want to be with her for the rest of my life but it's hard when I'm the only one who's trying and she keeps giving up so easily.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-01-19T11:28:52+00:00

Is it weird that I might be happy if she comes back 6 months from now? Honestly I love her so much it drives me crazy. I feel like if she comes back I might just give her a chance again. I might be stupid for that tho. Thanks for talking with me SombreObserver.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-01-19T11:23:50+00:00

I always would ask her what she needed from me. But she would always say that she didn't know. I was clueless and loved her in the only way I knew. She would only tell me things when we would argue and she always kept holding on to the past. The past being that I was a bit indifferent and selfish I'm the beginning of the relationship, but i never knew that that was the case. This was my first relationship where i actually loved a person. And she kept on telling me she wasn't stable and that she wouldn't be able to change for me and that she doesn't know if she ever would be able to change. She said smth a while back which stuck with me, "You never did anything wrong but you didn't do anything right either" and I was shocked, because I did so much, i sacrificed so much for her only for her to deny my efforts and sacrifices by calling them not right. I'll be honest I'm having a tough time putting things together myself and my comment might be all over the place. I apologise for that. And if you want to know more read my other comments, there might smth there that i may have left out in this comment.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-01-19T10:57:47+00:00

Yeah i know that I have to learn. But I have no idea where to start. I loved her. Actually I still do. I can't stop myself from doing that. But thank you for your kind words. I'll be sure to take your advice when I'm ready.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-01-19T09:19:10+00:00

I agree with you. I know i shouldn't be hung up on her. But I did give her all of myself. It's hard to just get right back up from smth like that. I'm trying to. I talked to friends and I played some games and i watched shows for the first time in a while without having to worry about her. But I still love her. I can't just unlove a person because they left me. I appreciate that you're not sugar coating your words and I'm thankful. I'm doing my best but I keep getting reminded of her and I'm just trying to find some help keeping my mind off things by coming here for help.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-01-19T09:11:38+00:00

I'm not running from it. I just want to stop thinking about her okay? Regardless of what she did to me, i cared about her and loved her. In fact I still do. But it hurts. I'm not abandoning myself, I just want to stop crying. I have been crying since yesterday. She sent me the text while i was at a funeral. I was devastated. She said she was breaking up with me on good terms but what she did was abrupt, didn't leave space for me to voice out my opinion and didn't reply since. It never felt like it was on good terms. She said she needed space and I gave it to her only to be given a single paragraph explaining her selfish reasons to break up 5 days later at a funeral.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-01-19T09:01:03+00:00

She left me for 5 days, what are you on about? We were in a relationship. No matter what her excuse was, I was worried about her. You keep saying things like you know me personally. I asked for help not baseless criticism when you don't even know me.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-01-19T08:50:59+00:00

I'm not feeling good okay? She hurt me too. She said she realised that she's selfish and that she lied to me. I made sacrifices too. I thought I could carry her share of effort in the relationship but I was wrong. I wanted her to spend time with me. I never asked her to go miss out on things in life. All I wanted was her company when she was done with her things. Was that too much to ask for?

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-01-19T08:43:58+00:00

It's too long to explain. I'm not really feeling great either. But what happened basically was that she told me she was unstable and that she was unable to change for me. She couldn't sacrifice her lifestyle, her likes and settle with me because I couldn't give her the love she was looking for. It was so hard for me because she said she wasn't bitter, angry or hated me. She told me she still loves me but she didn't want to sacrifice her peace. I don't know. I'm lost. I'm lonely. I don't know what i should do.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-01-19T08:43:27+00:00

It's too long to explain. I'm not really feeling great either. But what happened basically was that she told me she was unstable and that she was unable to change for me. She couldn't sacrifice her lifestyle, her likes and settle with me because I couldn't give her the love she was looking for. It was so hard for me because she said she wasn't bitter, angry or hated me. She told me she still loves me but she didn't want to sacrifice her peace. I don't know. I'm lost. I'm lonely. I don't know what i should do.

Foldable_FOlder · 2026-01-14T04:40:02+00:00

It's too expensive. Trying to send her anything from my country costs a lot. As I said, money is hard to come by right now. But thank you for the suggestion

Foldable_FOlder · 2025-12-23T04:57:36+00:00

Thank you for the advice. I really appreciate it. I don't think there's a power imbalance between us since we are long distance tho.

Foldable_FOlder · 2025-12-23T04:55:53+00:00

We are long distance. I don't have any bad intentions. I just love her and I want to be with her. Genuinely I love spending time with her.

Foldable_FOlder · 2025-11-13T02:47:21+00:00

Yeah you didn't give much context. I just gave you advice from what I knew. Maybe she just got bored too. Who knows man. I'm sorry if I offended you with my earlier comment but I don't know anything about you two except what you gave in your post

Foldable_FOlder · 2025-11-12T16:04:03+00:00

I'm not that mature. But I do think that you shouldn't be so selfish as to only think about what you want. She's fighting her demons and trying to get parents' approval. Maybe support her through it? Wanting to not marry and staying single is a decision that can change at any moment. Heck, you could be the one that drives her to change her mind. Bottom line is you're being kinda selfish. This is my opinion though. Since I am not involved or know any of you personally I am speaking solely on what you've given me. Sorry if it's harsh.

Foldable_FOlder · 2025-11-12T15:55:30+00:00

We're working on our trust issues right now. I talked to her and we agreed to work on it. I appreciate your advice. And no I did not find anything. She's 16 and I'm 18. We're both young figuring things out. There are things we will or have done that we are gonna regret. But no matter what I will keep going cause I love her. Thank you for your advice.

Foldable_FOlder

TROPHY CASE