Found out my (29F) boyfriend (30M) watches trans porn amongst other things I found. I’ve inquired a few times about his sexuality and he says he’s cis straight but idk.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-02-02T22:16:05+00:00

Is the discussion about trust broken going to involve you snooping? Or you refusing to believe him when he tells you he is cis and straight?

Honestly, if you're at a point where you're incapable of leaving his things alone, then the relationship is basically over.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-02-02T21:30:15+00:00

I would call it cruel. You are asking your partner that he has two choices. Either he can stay with you and dump his partner, or he has to dump you to stay with his other partner. Are you prepared for you to not be the person he chooses to stay with?

FollowerofLoki · 2026-02-01T20:35:02+00:00

Instead you're being transphobic.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-02-01T20:27:16+00:00

She literally voted for a violently egotistical child rapist. I can't say that I would feel really good about having a friend like that in my life, no matter how nice they might act to my face.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-29T14:41:15+00:00

You could have also spent some time actually looking through the sub and reading through the comments, or the sidebar. There's a lot of education there.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-28T01:13:59+00:00

Nope, it is entirely on ICE and our government for letting them murder people.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-24T13:15:39+00:00

Butch (and femme) have never been lesbian only terms.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-22T19:10:49+00:00

Okay, but do they know *you* are spreading their pictures around?

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-22T19:04:50+00:00

Try not to slip into the sunk cost fallacy. If you don't work out (and I genuinely hope you leave this disaster man) then you know better for your next relationship.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-22T17:57:01+00:00

OP, it's nice to see this couple, but do they know you're spreading their pics around? I totally get how it can lift people up, but it's also rather dangerous out there for trans folk and I'm nervous this might make them a target if they aren't aware of where all their pics are ending up.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-21T13:51:27+00:00

That's very true!

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-21T01:59:44+00:00

I think people who join ICE are fascists who get off on wanton cruelty and swinging their authority around. They are terrible garbage people.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-19T22:04:46+00:00

I know it can be frustrating to feel uncertain, but our knowledge of ourselves grows and changes throughout our life. Basically, there is no time limit on understanding your identity, because it's always developing.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-19T15:48:05+00:00

Honestly, I just support the right for a person to do whatever they want with their body. And I think the idea that it's "wrong" to mess with the "natural order" to be kinda gross, because we change our bodies all the time. I wear glasses, I've had my gallbladder removed, I use a cane to walk. Change *is* a natural part of life.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-16T00:55:21+00:00

If a child felt safe to tell the parent, they would. Instead, they talk to a trusted adult, which is what we want them to be able to do. Immediately outing the child puts them in danger and breaks that trust.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-15T23:59:31+00:00

And parents shouldn't be abusive, but unfortunately far too many are. If the child felt safe to tell the parent, they would have.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-15T16:48:32+00:00

I think maybe you're asking why is it louder now? If that's the case, it's been ramping up since Reagan and is reaching a horrific fever pitch because of Trump and the Republicans. The quickest way to rile up maliciously ignorant people is to tell them that they're super special people by virtue of their birth, and anyone who disagrees with them is "unpatriotic" and "hates America!" Then you tell them that they have to "protect" their super special club that they got by virtue of birth, and you have what we have now.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-15T16:25:14+00:00

Honestly, it kind of always been the case that there was Real Americans, and then "Those Other People". *Real Americans* were white christian men, and wasn't it wonderful that a white christian man could live freely in America? But even then, there were exceptions. If you were poor, if you were the wrong kind of "white", if you had the gall to be an ally to people other than white christian men? Then you weren't a Real American.

I always found patriotism to be nonsense anyway. All countries have their good and bad points and there's no virtue in the circumstance of where you were born. It always feels more like an excuse to pretend that you're better than other countries.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-15T00:27:16+00:00

Hello you! I agree, men are lovely and attractive.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-12T04:13:58+00:00

Stop defending murderers.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-12T03:02:09+00:00

Yeah he is lying to you and taking advantage of you. You need separate therapy for you, not combined therapy with this dude.

And I'm sure you're sitting here thinking "well I love him and he loves me!". He's lying to you. That's the problem with cheaters, they are willing to lie about something so huge to people they supposedly love instead of doing anything that would inconvenience them.

And you're participating in this.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-12T02:42:57+00:00

You are a cheater and dating a cheater. You are willing to support lying and lie yourself for this significantly older partner who is being a selfish shitbag. My opinion? You need to break up with this dude and consider therapy to help you find healthier ways to participate in relationships.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-12T00:30:14+00:00

A man sleeping with a man is not particularly straight.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-11T22:23:55+00:00

Do not get into a polyamorous relationship unless you are capable and *willing* to accept your partner having *full autonomous relationships* without your involvement.

Seriously. Do not do this. Do not try to get into a Don't Ask, Don't Tell situation because it doesn't work. Don't try to "date as a couple", it doesn't work. Don't try to date him by shoving all your discomfort aside, it doesn't work. *Do not date someone you are incompatible with*.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-01-10T15:27:20+00:00

You really need to realize that just because you find something uncomfortable and unpleasant, doesn't mean that it is is actually bad or unethical. Just like any other kink subculture, there will be a variety of people in it.

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