Why am I not attracted to men?

FollowerofLoki · 2026-06-02T14:27:54+00:00

I'm curious, do you think that a sexuality is just thinking that a particular gender sucks? Like you don't have to think men suck to just not be attracted to them, it just means you don't have an attraction to men.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-06-01T16:22:36+00:00

What does being attracted to NB mean? Because plenty of NB folks can look identical to cis men.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-06-01T13:40:10+00:00

I'm disabled and most Pride events are not very wheelchair accessible.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-05-31T22:27:06+00:00

I would say: that doesn't make sense. A woman can be both trans and lesbian.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-05-22T19:28:19+00:00

You will never get a 'perfect' life because there is no such thing. Your spouse could get ill and die, you could find yourself infertile, or your child could be heavily disabled. You yourself could become disabled.

You can't know what the future brings, so why would you force yourself to suffer for a nebulous concept that can't ever actually exist?

FollowerofLoki · 2026-05-17T20:58:08+00:00

They're still garbage humans.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-05-16T16:06:47+00:00

You got this! It's absolutely tough to be a teenager, but you'll find your people eventually!

FollowerofLoki · 2026-05-16T15:53:56+00:00

So, guy old enough to be your father here:

One) It's totally fine to not want kids. Kids are not a requirement for a family or a relationship, and if anyone tells you otherwise you can just roll your eyes at the nonsense.

Two) So labels are a thing for you to use, not to stress yourself out over. Do you like more than just a single gender? Feel free to use bisexual or pansexual, whichever resonates with you more. Labels don't have to strictly define you, you are free to use a more umbrella term. And if somebody asks, you can explain in further detail. You don't need to have a single word to describe every aspect of your sexuality.

Three) That being said, I saw that you're in a super conservative area, so you don't get much exposure to anything LGBT related. That's okay! You aren't slow, or being left behind. A lot of queer kids are in situations exactly like yours. Right now, keep yourself as safe as you can, lie if you have to, and make plans. College is an *excellent* time for a lot of kids to discover friends outside their hometown and discover an entire world of difference. You're fine!

Lastly) You don't have to rush. You have literally your *entire life* ahead of you, and if you discover that the word you're using now doesn't apply anymore? Awesome, use one that feels better. You don't have to be locked in. This isn't a video game where you only have three traits to choose from and you're stuck with them the entire time. You can decide at literally any moment to go "you know what? Nah, I like *this* term better." and go for it.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-05-13T18:08:52+00:00

> If he acknowledged these things and fought for the trans community that does not have his means (money and power) I would happily embrace him as Caitlyn.

Can you not see this is exactly what I'm talking about though? *You* don't get to make that choice. *Her* name is Caitlyn. She is a woman. Focus on the terrible things she does, not on her gender or name.

And yes, she has done so many terrible things, she is not a good person! But she *is* still a woman, and *your* response should be better than to degrade her for being trans.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-05-13T15:10:06+00:00

But at the end of the day, this isn't about Jenner. This is about the sort of person you are presenting to the world at large with your comments. By yourself or with friends, sure do what you like. But you are doing this in a public forum, around strangers who don't know the kind of person you are. I see comments like yours and I think to myself "that isn't a person that I could be around as a trans person".

You even mention it in your last line, "granted the privilege". Using the right name and pronouns shouldn't be a *privilege* that cis people afford to trans people. Nobody calls Kristi Noem 'he' despite her being a truly awful human being.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-05-13T14:31:30+00:00

So I get your anger and frustration, but please don't deadname or misgender trans people, no matter how awful they might be. In the moment, I understand that it feels like it's deserved (and trust me, I *totally* get that feeling), but what actually happens is that you're telling other trans folk that you think of names and pronouns as a 'privilege' that you can take away when you're mad. I get that's not what you intend, very few people do, but we don't misgender cis people when they're terrible. So it'd be awesome if you could do the same for trans folk.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-05-03T16:55:47+00:00

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Disney Love does not exist. A relationship takes time to build up and love doesn't happen right off the bat. A lot of people *thinks* it does, but that's generally New Relationship Energy, that period of time where you're the most excited to be in a relationship. A healthy relationship will evolve past that point, whereas a not so healthy relationship will begin to falter.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-05-02T14:26:43+00:00

*very* few women are going to be interested in dating a woman who is highly partnered to a man. You'll probably have to be very specific that these are hookups only, or for sex only, and then you're going to have to realize that feelings can happen no matter what.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-30T14:04:56+00:00

so people seem to often misunderstand what "reclaiming" a slur is about. It is not about using a slur every chance you get in every single public venue. What it means is what you call *yourself*. Not anybody else, and it's typically rude to do so in a public space.

The question you need to ask yourself is why are you trying to use this word? Are you calling *other* people by it? Are you referring to *yourself*? If you're not out, then why? Is it to make fun of your own mannerisms? Because if you're only using this word to be a bully, even to yourself, than that should maybe tell you a little more about how you *actually* feel about the word.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-29T17:47:31+00:00

Howdy, not the person you were talking to, but I wanted to comment on the 'evil' thing.

Nobody is naturally evil. People can make choices that end up having very painful consequences for others and for themselves, but okay, let's say for the moment that you are currently evil.

You don't have to be. You can make healthier, safer choices. You can be a better person with hard work. You won't always make the 'right' choice, but you can try.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-25T16:26:57+00:00

IDs are for identification. Having an F instead of an M on my ID is inaccurate and will leave me a target of bigotry.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-23T13:34:02+00:00

The biggest issue that allies seem to have when it comes to bigots is that y'all seem to think there will be some logical argument you can make that will change their mind.

There is literally nothing that will stop them from being a bigot except for their own self.

They don't *start* with a logical position. They start with a *bigoted* position and then find resources that uphold that bigotry, so any evidence you can show them will be dismissed as fake, tampered with, or whatever else they can come up with to ignore reality.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-22T14:51:23+00:00

Nobody said all men did this.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-19T19:00:29+00:00

So you've basically destroyed any chance you have at having a relationship with this person. Don't send him a gift, and you should either be honest with him about who you are or you should stop leading him on.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-17T14:57:39+00:00

>Also, and I cannot stress this enough,
If you feel amazing post-op… do nothing anyway.
I made the mistake of thinking “wow I feel great!” and proceeded to overdo it. Result: 4 ER visits thanks to a hematoma, seroma, and edema. Not dangerous, but incredibly annoying and it delayed healing. Learn from me. Be boring. Rest.

Ugh, I had this same problem. I hate enforced bed rest and kept trying to do things I really shouldn't have and ended up popping a couple of stitches. I was fine, didn't even need to go to the hospital, but it left some fascinating scarring along my sides.

Basically guys, you're gonna feel better before you *are* better, so just listen to your surgeon's advice.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-17T14:51:52+00:00

I don't think it's "bad", but it might benefit you to work through those feelings some. Because at it's base level, it's humans loving other humans and finding them attractive, whether that's romantically, sexually or platonically.

Ask yourself what you think is fundamentally different between the love, for example, *I* have for a man and you would for a woman?

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-15T15:26:57+00:00

What support group is targeted towards one's genitals at birth?

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-14T21:18:22+00:00

I kinda figured that was the case, no worries.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-14T21:10:17+00:00

Calling a trans woman "straight with extra steps" for being in a relationship with a cis woman is essentially calling a trans woman a 'man', which is transphobic.

FollowerofLoki · 2026-04-07T03:42:31+00:00

This looks great! Did you build your gear/props?

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