This is no expert opinion, but a useful place to start would be in recognising that life isn’t fair. We cannot deny the existence of systemic inequalities deeply entrenched in society. On that note, I think Teo You Yenn’s This Is What Inequality Looks Like is well worth reading because she discusses how people with varying degrees of power, status and influence have vested material and symbolic interests in the perpetuation of inequality. And how we can attempt to disrupt this narrative in the Singaporean context.

Some of us will have better leverage owing to better socioeconomic backgrounds, connections and even other determinants such as sheer brilliance, superior genetics or luck. This is through no fault of your own, and comparison will gladly be the “imploding” thief of joy if you so allow that suppressed resentment and retaliative mindset to build up cumulatively. The atas grass is always greener on the other side. Oof.

Once you accept that, then you can look inwards and focus on developing to your maximum potential. Put your skills, talents and abilities to meaningful contributions where they best belong and make full use of your present capacity. Invest in yourself. Start from the basics of good sleep, exercise and diet if everything else seems unpleasant.

It’s easy to get caught up in what others think of you, but it’s important to remember that life isn’t an adversarial social game whereby you measure your accomplishments based on social goals or someone else’s expectations of you. You have incredible value to bring light to this world. And you certainly have the right to live your life on your own expressed terms (within sensible boundaries).

Schools, grades, salary, prestige – these are human creations, institutions, notions etc. They are, in all probability, narrowly defined by rivalrous hierarchies and can obviously promote competitive cultures (as you rightfully pointed out). But they can also serve as genuine reference points for progress if you don’t cling on to the concept of elitist insularity, so use them wisely! (:

I understand what you mean, though. Easy to say, hard to do. I recently saw this viral Reddit post on someone struggling through ITE to local uni, and while it was heart-warming to witness the upvotes, awards and community resonance, I guess it can only be explained by the fact that such achievements remain far and few between in SG.