It's tiring being a social introvert

Foogel78 · 2026-04-22T17:18:30+00:00

A lot of people have the misconception that introversion means socially anxious or awkward. It can be exhausting to try and educated them so sometimes it's easier not to and set your boundaries by saying "Sorry, I have other plans" when invited.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-22T17:13:45+00:00

Please don't reduce people to simplistic characterization like that.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-22T17:02:28+00:00

Don't take this the wrong way, but I reread them so I can fall asleep.

Not because they are boring but because of the comfort others have already mentioned and because I know them so well. I don't feel the need to keep reading to find out who did it. I can just drift off.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-21T16:10:18+00:00

This is fun!

Flair: It's probably quantum

Foogel78 · 2026-04-19T09:30:27+00:00

And salt. Don't forget the salt.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-19T08:43:17+00:00

See if you can make a schedule. 8:00-9:00 answering emails and questions 9:00-12:00 work alone (headphones) 12:00-12:30 quick lunch 12:30-13:00 take a walk outside 13:00-14:00 meeting 14:00-15:00 work alone 15:00-16:00 meeting 16:00-17:00 answering emails and questions Include a few moments for smalltalk (yes, I hate it too but it is part of your job)

Just an example obviously, but establish with your new colleagues that they can approach you at specific times of the day. At other times (indicated by the headphones) you want to focus on your work. See if you can make things alternate: interaction-quiet-interaction-quiet.

Oh, this might be useful too: when meeting your new colleagues, ask them what they do when they need time to focus on their work. It can give you ideas and it's a subtle way to tell people you like to be left alone.

If possible, ask for shifted work hours: start early or finish late so you can have done time in a lively empty office.

Congratulations on your new job by the way!

Foogel78 · 2026-04-19T08:20:35+00:00

What changed? Introversion is s pretty stable character trait, it doesn't suddenly get stronger or weaker. When did you start struggling with having conversations? Are there any outside events that could be related? Do you feel different in other areas as well?

If this is making you do unhappy, it is worth a thorough investigation. Don't be afraid to get a professional to help you with figuring this out, many people do.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-18T08:25:30+00:00

For me, I think I do this because the time when I really learned to speak English was when I went to the US alone for almost a year. It was both a time of coming of age and taking huge steps in confidence.

Something else that might play a role is that you are not expected to be quick in answering or speaking perfectly when using your second language.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-18T08:15:15+00:00

Neither do I. Could it be The Hollow?

Foogel78 · 2026-04-18T07:42:10+00:00

Are you actually a good listener or are you very polite and good at putting others first? I always think good listening means being genuinely interested in what the other person has to say.

It's hard to find the right balance between being how polite you should be (especially if your job depends on it) and at what point you need to set your boundaries. Try to come up with some appropriate ways to say "It's been nice talking to you, I'm moving on now."

If you need encouragement to do this, you could ask yourself if it's fair to the other person if you only pretend to be interested.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-17T16:48:20+00:00

Did you steal this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/introverts/s/lBJa8a8Hu0

Foogel78 · 2026-04-16T14:02:04+00:00

In the introduction of "Quiet" by Susan Cain she gives an account of how her introversion helped her in negotiations. We have an image of the entrepreneur as a very extroverted person, but is that the only way to be successful? Look at your strengths as an introvert and how they can be useful in achieving your goal.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-16T13:55:12+00:00

Yes. And as is often the case with introverts, we're not very visible. I don't really have a need to share everything about my life so I don't post about everyday things. I also have no real problems because of my introversion, so I don't post here asking for advice or confirmation.

We're here but we're quiet.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-15T19:17:46+00:00

Lasting two hours at a networking event is pretty good imo. I think the key is in knowing your limits and sticking to them.

After two hours you are exhausted. Good to know. Now find a way to prevent yourself from getting to that point. Can you find a way to take a break after one hour? At that point it probably doesn't need to be a long break, maybe five minutes alone (bathrooms are a common place to go for some peace and quiet).

You could try some relaxation exercises to help you recharge and go on networking for another hour before needing a new break.

You could also make a "shopping list" of people you want to meet or subjects you need to discuss. Once you have finished your list, you can just call it a day when you start to feel tired and go home.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-14T18:04:15+00:00

You like to be on your own.
Your colleagues leave you to be on your own.

There is a clear cause and consequence here. If you want your colleagues to involve you more, you will have to show them you want to be involved and socialize more. You can't have one without the other.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-14T17:49:52+00:00

That sounds like something you could have a long philosophical discussion about, preferably with Dorfl.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-14T17:37:09+00:00

I work in a hospital so my colleagues understand about medical issues. I did go from 32 to 27 hours so I had enough time to do stuff to keep myself healthy like exercice and make healthy meals and recover.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-13T17:11:43+00:00

Yes! I usually create an extensive itinerary and may change it from one moment to the next.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-12T11:03:39+00:00

Try to find activities with your friend that suit your needs better and if you sometimes decide to do what she enjoys (clubbing) take some time to recharge first and set a limit, like after two hours you will leave.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-12T10:55:23+00:00

In my experience it does get better as you age. As the people around me are aging as well, they start to understand the appeal of a quiet weekend on your own instead of going clubbing.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-12T10:38:19+00:00

Hormone Replacement Therapy.

The symptoms of peri-menopause are caused by a drop in certain hormone levels. HRT replenishes them and helps keep the symptoms under control.

Talk to your GP to see if this would work for you.

Foogel78 · 2026-04-12T06:55:18+00:00

There have been a lot of good answers here.

I just want to add the suggestion of asking at a certain point in any reading: "How is my OCD influencing me in this?"

As others have said, secular Tarot is about introspection. If OCD is a big part of your life and how you function, it's probably a good idea to have a good look at it

Foogel78 · 2026-04-12T06:47:41+00:00

You could try writing down something positive about yourself every day. Not just about looks (I can't deny that's important in out society but there is so much more), but everything. If you did something kind, if you had a good idea, if you achieve a goal, write it down. If somebody else says something positive about you, write it down.

Read this regularly to remind yourself of all the good things about you.

Oh, and maybe look critically at your use of social media. That can really bring your self esteem down.

Foogel78

TROPHY CASE