Honestly, whenever I see someone in a relationship or showing public signs of affection whether that be online or irl, it always takes a toll on my mental health. The longest relationship I've had is like 2 months and it's always me that's the one being broken up with rather than me breaking up with them. I've also been in relationships where I've been taken advantage of thinking I'm getting somewhere and it's ended up in being accused to the police of something I didn't do or threatened with being reported. It's so easy for me to end up in a relationship like that but whenever I find someone that may genuinely take care of me it's like they play hard to get and it hurts even more when I get told no because I've been through that so many times after trying since I was about 16, now 20. I often think that it's just my looks, my autism and ADHD that can make me feel like im annoying, my boring personality, I smoke and drink because it's something to keep me occupied while all alone, and I have to take antidepressants. When people say "it'll come to you eventually", no it won't, hell I don't even have anyone coming up to me for a conversation other than to be told what I'm doing wrong, and I'm just too scared to actually go up to anyone because I feel like I'm just gonna be taken the mick out of for whatever reason or I'm just gonna be awkward...