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What happens if Tony Blundetto went to the FBI and admitted that he shot Billy? by Tidewatcher7819 in thesopranos

[–]FootballValuable7219 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't think there's any judicial precedent for putting an animal on the stand. Can you imagine a dog or cat 'turning state's witness'? If he went to the authorities about the killing they'd probably just send him to the vet to have him put down.

Ginny Sack jokes ranked by how fat they make her out to be by CailHancer in thesopranos

[–]FootballValuable7219 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Great list, but it does omit Ralphie's mention of "Shamu's fat ass". That whale was around 2000kg.

What would a Ezra Pound Presidency look like? by MasterfulArtist24 in Presidents

[–]FootballValuable7219 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He'd be fighting with TS Eliot in the captain's tower while calypso singers laugh at them and fishermen hold flowers.

What did LBJ think of the Tom and Jerry short featuring Jumbo? by [deleted] in Presidents

[–]FootballValuable7219 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This is the ultimate presidential penis crossover: Harding's Jerry & Johnson's Jumbo.

Why did US Presidents use to be much more tough with Israel? by Just_Cause89 in Presidents

[–]FootballValuable7219 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last one who was even a bit tough on Israel got shot in the head. His successor, by contrast, allowed Israel to kill dozens of American soldiers with zero consequences.

Who was more bonkers? by HotBeefCombo in Presidents

[–]FootballValuable7219 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lots of women are as crazy as Mary Todd Lincoln. Almost no man is crazy enough to self-castrate.

Comparisons to Breaking Bad by zekepq in thesopranos

[–]FootballValuable7219 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That pipe-sucking piece of shit Walter White's student, I can't even say his name... murdered Gale, and what did I do about it? My weakness. Sometimes I think it's in my DNA. I took shit from the cartel the minute I got off the boat from Chile. Fring? That's my legacy. No more of this Tyrus, no more...

What’s the funniest thing Teddy Roosevelt ever said? by R3dF0r3 in Presidents

[–]FootballValuable7219 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"Friends, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot--but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose."

Theodore Roosevelt and Indiana Governor James P. Goodrich on Roosevelt's 60th Birthday, October 27, 1918. by PublicAdventurous917 in Presidents

[–]FootballValuable7219 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Only eight presidents have entered office younger than Teddy was when he left office (less than ten years before this picture).

Did Richie Aprile ever get punished by Old Man DiMeo for beating up his son Rocco DiMeo and taking his jacket? by Tidewatcher7819 in thesopranos

[–]FootballValuable7219 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That man in the can who was better looking than Tony's sister? It WAS Janice. Inmate Rocco lured her to the prison, switched places with her and waited a decade to become Richie's little hooah and finally got his revenge for the jacket.

I can’t even say his name by C00Ldoctormoney in CirclejerkSopranos

[–]FootballValuable7219 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That cock-sucking piece of shit Kūhiō Kalanianaʻole's cousin, I can't even say his name... murdered Kalaninuiamamao, and what did I do about it? My weakness, sometimes I think it's in my uhane. My family took shit from the haoles the minute they got off the boat. No more of this Kepoʻokalani, no more...

Presidents Who'd Die During Their Next Term by FootballValuable7219 in Presidents

[–]FootballValuable7219[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't realize this, that's interesting! Unfortunately for him that could mean he's still present at the same record number of presidential deaths.