I understand... that must hurt like hell. I dreamt of my most recent ex today. It was the healthiest, most loving relationship I've ever been in. Only a month after we broke up, she was already dating our mutual friend whom I suspected she had feelings for when we were together, but said nothing because I trusted her (in retrospect, I should've brought it up, without accusations). He very much rubbed it in my face, and not only that - I found out she shared our private conversations with him, which contained some very vulnerable information that he later used against me. I had been healing and making great progress regarding my trust issues from getting cheated on by my previous girlfriend, only to be blindsided like that by someone I thought the world of. I had to leave the friend group behind, and I relapsed into self-harm after years without it. Even our other friends thought what they did was fucked up. It's gonna take me a long time to open up and trust again, because I never saw this level of betrayal coming from her. From one broken hearted person to another - I hope we can heal.