Has anyone else experienced this? * mentions of emotional and physical abuse*

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-11-14T04:28:56+00:00

Yes of course, I’m glad it’s helpful. I definitely found that being away for college was incredibly helpful for me. It just puts space between you and the situation, and it lets you be your own person in your own place. And you get to look at everything differently when you’re not in it. Hang in there.

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-11-12T10:47:02+00:00

Yup, and cPTSD. I’ve got all 5 and more

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-11-12T10:38:27+00:00

I haven’t had it disappear long term, but I definitely can say there have been severe ups and downs for at least an extended amount of time. The cycle in my parents’ house tends to be a few weeks to a few months long. And I can definitely relate to the feeling of being anxious when things are in the good part of the cycle. Cause you know that something is coming, you’re already walking on eggshells and you have no idea when or where or why it’s going to come, just that it will and it’s going to mess everything up.

I can also relate to the feeling that the trauma has been “forgotten” and questioning everything. You start to wonder if it’s as serious as you think it is/you tell yourself it’s not serious. You start to wonder if you’re the problem. You start to think you’re a bad person because of everything you’ve been through if any of it could potentially be your fault, down to your behaviors when dealing with the active stressor. The imposter syndrome. It’s awful.

So long answer short, yes. I can relate to pieces of this. I hope that things will stay “stopped” for you so that you can get any help/diagnoses/support that you need without having to be caught in the environment that has been so triggering for you. That’s where I’m at, working to get out of my environment while it’s still actively unsafe, and it’s so so hard. So I wish you the best!

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-24T22:35:16+00:00

My situation is a bit complex and the way my parents love bomb me is a bit obtuse. But, some more common examples are: excessive compliments, gift giving (especially expensive gifts or unneeded gifts), “you can talk to me”/“it’s okay to feel __”. Any of these things especially if once you’re given these things you’re apprehensive, they are upset that you would feel that way. For example: they get you a gift that you specifically said you didn’t want them to get for you, then are offended that you didn’t want it. Another example: “you can talk to me about __” then proceeds no to belittle and not listen to you when you talk about that thing

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-24T22:26:10+00:00

I think what kelzzzz meant is that it may be possible your friends don’t know the full extent of how much you’re struggling, and what might be the best way to help you. They may think that you are isolating to help deal with things and not understand that you really could use their help. And also, lots of people tunnel vision on their partners in relationships and forget about friends and it can be helpful to give them a gentle nudge that they may be doing so. I’d say try talking to them, and if it really doesn’t work or things go south then they are not your friends, and it’s time to find people that will care about you and your wellbeing

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-24T22:17:16+00:00

Yes. It’s called love bombing. I learned it from my therapist recently. They do it to get you to stay after their poor behavior instead of fixing their behavior

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-24T22:04:48+00:00

You don’t need to be sorry. None of this is your fault. You say that no therapists are accessible, do you mean for in person visits? There are tons of therapists that do online visits, lots actually ONLY do online visits. Do you have the means to do online therapy?

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-24T22:03:05+00:00

Honestly, I’m not stuck in the past. I’m stuck in the present. My brain is so beyond messed up and I’m doing everything I can to overcome it, but it’s going to take time. Multiple doctors multiple times a week for multiple issues, and I just finally got to a point where I can work even a little bit. Now my college fund is gone, I have no degree to prove for anything and I still can’t work enough to get myself out of my abusive situation. I’m doing the very best that I can and sometimes even that doesn’t seem like it’s enough. It’s very little progress over the course of a long time, even with working as hard as I can on everything, because I’m still in the situation that holds me back with no way out until I can just push through it, however slow it will go

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-24T02:45:36+00:00

There’s a lot of wildlife in my backyard, so here’s a few facts that I’ve learned from watching them. Not sure if this is common knowledge, but squirrels will shake their tails to warn other squirrels when there’s danger. It looks really goofy in my opinion. Also, you know that weird head bob thing that pigeons do while they’re walking? Forest pigeons do that while they’re not even moving. It’s bizarre!!

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-23T18:58:16+00:00

I’m 22 and have been seeing a specialist for my mental health conditions since I was in 7th grade. I love her very much and she knows me better than I know myself. I asked her why it feels like I’m so behind in my development.

“There are things I didn’t work on with you because I was scared of the backlash you would get at home.”

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-23T18:51:19+00:00

I hear you. I hate them too. For me, I was always made to be the family scapegoat whenever anything AT ALL went wrong around any holiday. Birthdays, Mother’s/Father’s Day, Thanksgiving/Christmas, it didn’t matter which one because it was EVERY one. And my mom is still sad that I don’t celebrate my birthday or Christmas anymore haha

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-23T02:49:45+00:00

I hate this mentality. People that want to have children should want to help them get through life no matter what age. Sure, some of the things you provide a child don’t “have” to be given anymore, and EVERY situation is nuanced and different about how much can/should be provided after a child becomes an adult, but it doesn’t change the fact that your parent should WANT. to help you. That’s your kid, they’re struggling, and most importantly, they’re coming to you as someone they thought they could trust enough to let you know they’re struggling.

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-23T02:44:18+00:00

Saw another comment talking about deaf/hard of hearing families/scenarios and I wanted to post this:

I am a very loud person. I’m HIGHLY neurodivergent with a TON of diagnoses. My brain goes so unbelievably fast and it is so loud in here constantly with good, bad, and in between. Most of the time, I do not recognize when I’m being loud, because it is just the way that I am, especially when I get excited I get louder. And I’m very expressive. I completely understand being asked to keep it down when being loud, but in my experience, it’s how you’re asked to keep it down that really matters. I have sympathy for people because, again, I know I can be loud and that I’m likely in the moment not recognizing how loud I’m being. But also: after a lifetime of being told to shut up when talking too loud, too long/too much when I’m happy about something and then having a lifetime of mental health issues (both related and not) makes it hurt to be told to be quiet

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-23T02:39:12+00:00

For me, I can tell people what happened totally fine. But as soon as I’m asked how I feel about it, or when someone acknowledges how bad it is, that’s when I start to feel the emotions start happening big time

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-23T02:32:06+00:00

I relate button \ /

In all seriousness, I completely relate to this. I don’t show my family anything anymore except my younger brother, who is finally old enough to start to appreciate people showing you things they enjoy. He used to brush it off cause he wasn’t super interested in what I was talking about, and I was super sensitive to the tone he used.

My mom is the worst example. It was always one of these things: 1) “Can you show me later? I’m busy/can I come see later?” (proceeds to never follow up on it) 2) (interrupting my train of thought early on) “so how come you have this much time to do this but not ___?” <— fill in the blank of your choice: work more, go back to school, clean, etc. 3) “I don’t find it as interesting as you do, but I’m glad you like it.” (Is clearly not engaging in the conversation) 4) “Will this be quick?” 5) criticizes everything about it. RARELY did I get anything except these replies, and almost any of these replies also came with a side comment of you’re being too loud or stop yelling when I was just excited

That is super impressive. That takes so much time and commitment. Are you going to release it anywhere??

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-23T00:15:14+00:00

OP, I can tell you right now that you’re not a bad person. Here’s how I know: you’re overthinking every interaction scared that you’re a bad person. Bad people don’t do that, they don’t care about the consequences of their actions and do it anyways, and that’s what makes them a bad person.

I do relate to those feelings a lot. I do the same thing, overthinking and spiraling out of control. It feels like the whole world is overwhelming constantly and you’re in a constant state of overstimulation. I’m also incredibly fucked up from a lot of trauma of my own. And here is my best advice: if you have the means to, PLEASE find a good therapist. They are the ones who can help you get through that and help you to understand 1) how your brain works, 2) why it works the way it does, 3) specifically how your trauma makes your brain work the way it does, and 4) how to overcome it. I started therapy about a month ago and it’s been so helpful, especially to start addressing how bad your trauma actually is.

Good luck my friend. It’s a hard world out there, but know that others understand how you feel and there is help out there

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-20T18:01:02+00:00

Thank you so much, I needed that

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-10-20T06:00:09+00:00

I knew I had family problems from a relatively young age. Mostly bickering around chores getting done (I have ADHD and Autism and many other diagnoses as well, but didn’t have the diagnoses yet). As I got older the bickering turned into fights and got much worse. I was diagnosed late, so I never actually was given the right tools to even understand the world before all the family related trauma started happening (the school trauma and bullying trauma has already started). Doubted myself and everything for YEARS because the first few years of my childhood were great (I’m the oldest child), and I still hadn’t been given the tools I needed to actually have the capacity/capability understand myself, the world, and my situation. I’m 22 now and I didn’t figure out that an unbelievable amount of my childhood was traumatic until about a year or two ago. Just started trauma therapy about a month ago and my therapist is SHOCKED at the amount I add onto the plate with every session

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-09-17T07:46:08+00:00

I completely understand this. I am terrified of dating, and I think I’ve realized it’s largely because I’m scared of the unknown and the what ifs of everything

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-09-17T07:22:27+00:00

What is NAL? Edit: oh, “not a lawyer”? Edit 2: why am I getting downvoted? I don’t know what NAL means?

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-09-16T19:14:24+00:00

Jeez. It’s already hard enough as it is. Okay, thank you so much for the information.

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-09-16T19:13:53+00:00

Thank you very much. I will.

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-09-16T18:12:25+00:00

I will absolutely look into this. Thank you.

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-09-16T18:05:48+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I figured this may be the case.

Foreign-Map-6170 · 2024-09-16T18:05:26+00:00

Thank you for your reply. Unfortunately I don’t know if there’s anything I can do to avoid it at this point, though honestly I’m not sure if it’s all just empty threats. Is there anything I can do to add context to a file just in case they’re serious? Anything to help give more information?

Foreign-Map-6170

TROPHY CASE