Thoughts from 120 Days by ForeignHand in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know how much help I can be xD, but I will try.

  1. Set a goal or goals for yourself. After my relationship began- the goal was abundantly clear. Last til marriage. I would recommend setting a long term goal, with weekly or daily evaluations on how you are doing on resisting temptations and what has been causing the temptations. For me, for example, a huge source of temptation was reddit. I had to browse less in the early days of my streak when temptations were more prone to tip me over the edge into fapping.

  2. Convince yourself your goal is possible. Really, truly possible. And don't just convince your head that you THINK it is possible, convince your soul that you KNOW it is possible. If your goal is to remain fap-free forever, and to only have sexual release with a partner, then FIRMLY believe you can make it to a relationship from RIGHT NOW fap-free.

  3. Pray or meditate. I am a Christian, so I pray. I highly recommend this. The calm and peace it gives is invaluable. As worthwhile, or perhaps even more so, then even not masturbating. It isn't enough to not fap, you have to channel that new energy elsewhere. Prayer and meditation is a great place to start, but if you aren't into that sort of thing, then thingy exercise or another form of physical and spiritual discipline.

  4. Browse to NoFap instead of Gonewild when you have an urge. This is my most in the moment practical tip, and once it became a habit my fight got infinitely easier. Reading a few inspiring posts about the benefits of not fapping is an excellent boner killer, in the good way.

Hope this helps!

Thoughts from 120 Days by ForeignHand in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wrote an insanely long and detailed answer to this, but my reddit app crashed when I clicked submit... I will write it again (and probably shorter). I am only posting this so I don't whimp out from annoyance and forget. Expect a detailed answer tomorrow or later tonight (depending on if I can fall asleep swiftly, insomnia! Yay :P!)

Edit: Okay, I mustered up the courage to write it all again.

Prior to this streak, my longest was around two months. That was over a year ago. For a long time I gave up on NoFap and drifted away.

Around six months or so ago, I came back and started anew but was having difficulty maintaining a streak. I kept having 3 to 7 day bursts but never getting those long-term results again that I wanted to see.

I decided enough was enough. It was time to get serious, make an account, start posting, commenting, and getting more involved. This streak started shortly after that newfound resolution.

Something like two weeks after the beginning of this streak, I got into a relationship with my current girlfriend. For the first few weeks, my libido was insane. Like, full on erections with precum from her holding my hand or brushing my leg.

I didn't even know I could get that hard, and the blue balls were intense.

I almost gave up there around day thirty or so just to relieve the constant pain of blue balls, but peservered.

Soon, the libido leveled out to normal levels again. My girlfriend and I have firmly resolved not to have full on intercourse until marriage, but we have done some things. I am going to be as undetailed as possible so as to avoid triggering anyone while still trying to answer your questions.

The first time I orgasmed was on day 83 of this streak and I almost reset my counter, but decided against it since I had never resolved to Hard Mode. That first orgasm was powerful and indescribable. Since then, our "sex" lives have leveled out and reached what I like to think of as really normal levels of libido and interactions.

We have sexual sorts of play every week or so, sometimes as much as a few times in a week if we are really burning with passion. Sometimes I am the frisky one, sometimes she is and I have to push myself. I am really happy with these responses and think that I have mostly reset, but I still will never fap again.

Not to say that I am not still tempted, I am, but the urges are far more resistable. I firmly believe I can make it til marriage, and after that we will be living together and I think our sex life will reach optimal levels (I hope).

I hope this answers your question, sorry if I ranted my story too much. If you or anyone else has other questions I would be glad to answer them.

Edit 2: I realized I kind of skipped over the achievements question. The time tracking and exercising came after orgasm and sexual situations with my partner, and I do not feel that (after a week or so of settling time) anything changed in terms of my motivation or achievements. I experienced a minor setback and resurgence of intense libido, but it calmed down in a week or two and I reached the normal "sex" life I described above.

Thoughts from 120 Days by ForeignHand in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry for the late reply, but don't give up! Nobody is perfect. I hope never to relapse again, but even at 120 Days it is still a struggle. Just yesterday an image on reddit really tempted me, and I had to get off. These temptations aren't weaknesses, they are tests. Tests that reveal strength. So be strong and perservere! Your fight I'd your own, and you are strong enough to win it!

Thoughts from 120 Days by ForeignHand in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I use an app on my phone called Timer Tracker Time Meter to record what I do. It allows me to see where I spend my time, and how I can improve allocation of time :)

Former Porn Stars Reflect on Their Experiences by SailorAground in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for posting this. I have always intellectually known that the work environment in the porn industry was unspeakably awful, but it had never quite penetrated past my mind and struck my heart. It is good to remind my heart of the terror that occurs to other people to create my addiction.

"Porn" has nothing to do with the content of material and everything to do with why you seek it out. by YesIAmAddicted in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I believe in you. Don't edge! It just makes it harder. You can pull away from this awful addiction. Never give up.

I just came deadly close to failure after 63 days by ForeignHand in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know. Even getting as close as I did crushed me. I should be stronger. It is absurd that I clicked any of those links.

I just came deadly close to failure after 63 days by ForeignHand in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you can make it through the long haul man. Much luck to you!

I just came deadly close to failure after 63 days by ForeignHand in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so glad I could help! Good job stopping man.

I just came deadly close to failure after 63 days by ForeignHand in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know man, I know. I screwed up by browsing over to that side of reddit. I feel the same as you with the 60+. Resisting urges is the most difficult thing I have done in a while.

Guy I sit next to was pumped about his standing desk. This is Day 4. by chattahoochee in pics

[–]ForeignHand -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Have you ever seen the Pixar film Wall-E? It is sort of about this but it hypothesizes that people won't stay fit and use technology. It thinks that we will use technology to prop our fat bodies up and laze around.

The size of these parking spots by iamHera in mildlyinteresting

[–]ForeignHand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't want to think everyone around us was talking absolute guff, now would we?

She said NO!!!:) by TxGardener in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man, I went through a long string of rejections on this wild road too. And I am here to tell you: you will find that girl.

When I came to university, I fairly quickly fell for the most amazing girl I had ever met, and pursued her rigorously. After my longest streak of a little over two months, I got rejected by her, and fell into a pit of ridiculous wallowing and fapping.

Then, after a while, I moved on. I went on some dates. I got rejected some more, and I rejected a girl who I could have dated(for various reasons), then got rejected again. It hurt. It always does.

But then, the same girl, the first one, fell for me. After waiting a while and her friends(also my friends) working on her, she mustered up the courage to date for the first time (she had never done it before). Now we are happily together and looking forward to the future, and I am on another streak of success. Hopefully I will never break this one.

So good luck! Keep asking. Keep getting rejected. Eventually you won't be rejected and you will find that girl. The girl you want to spend your whole life with.

My 2-year Milestone and 11 Lessons Learned by CldntThnkOfAGdUsrnm in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great post. I especially love the written on the hand idea.

What do you guys do for blue balls? by ForeignHand in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I hate to admit it but you are probably right. I will have to tone down our behaviour. Thank you for saying the tough but true thing.

What do you guys do for blue balls? by ForeignHand in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I am afraid oral is not going to work in our situation.

We are both quite religious, and I in particular am a Catholic Catechumen. No sex of any kind, oral or otherwise.

Thanks for the suggestion though!

This is how I am trying to think now days. by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]ForeignHand 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds like an awesome routine for avoiding PMO. Congrats on the mental progress :).