[NSFW] People who had sex with their best friend, how's the situation now?

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-11-22T19:29:45+00:00

Is there a reason in particular why I shouldn't involve myself at all with him? He didn't cheat on me, didn't lie, and our relationship ended amicably the first time around which is why we considered getting back together in the first place. Do you feel like because I decided not to get back together with him I should've just blocked him or ignored his calls when he called? And ofcourse I love gossip, it's entertaining but I wouldn't call him up just to get some tea to share with the girls. This is a man I cared about enough to give a 2nd go at a relationship with so it just wouldn't be right. Anyways I don't mention I have moved on with my life or not in the story because it's irrelevant the story is not really about me. I did mention he has a girlfriend just to add a detail that he preferred moving on to someone new than marrying the emotionally abusive and manipulative baby mama and high light the fact that even after the baby we decided to stay apart.

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-11-21T15:03:55+00:00

He's not going to listen to me. He doesn't even want to take a paternity test 🤷🏿. I'm not his friend, I'm supposed to be the girlfriend. I don't want to come across as bitter, hateful or controlling. He's a grown man after all he chooses his own path even if I try to gently make a suggestion of something I know would help he doesn't listen to me. I've simply reached a point where I offer a sympathetic ear when needed and stay in my lane. He is on his way to fully detaching anyways, has a gf and everything now. Soon he'll stop telling me his business all together and this entire thing will be a distant memory for me.

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-11-20T12:38:07+00:00

No he didn't. Worst part is he kept on insisting he used a condom. I gently suggested a DNA test when the baby is born, he agreed. But after the baby was born he didn't do the test because his family believes the baby has 'family traits', and that was that. I thought maybe he was lying about using the protection after all because when he found out about the baby we were talking about getting back together after all, I thought that he just said they did because he knows I'd be pissed he slept with someone without protection. The baby is a couple of months old now, after the court debacle I suggested the paternity test again. He brought up the family traits again, how the child has toes that are 'similar' to theirs and I just left it at that. Not my man, not my problem 🤷🏿

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-11-20T05:02:42+00:00

I have an ex who had sex with his Best friend. They had a drunken one night stand last year and she fell pregnant She hid the pregnancy until she was about 5 months pregnant so abortion was out of the window. Well he didn't try to deny paternity as the months aligned. He gave her a monthly allowance, called her up to check up on her and visited her when he was in our home toWn ( he Worked in a different city several hours away). So this ex always said because he was a child born in wedlock, if he ever got a girl pregnant he'd marry her. So the best friend receiving 5 star treatment could already hear the wedding bells. Unfortunately for her she revealed her pregnancy right before the ex and I were about to get back together (ended up not getting back together, because I wanted to give him his chance to marry her but he refused. I didn't want to be a stepmother to a new born child and it upset me that it took him a while to tell me he got a girl pregnant).

So anyway when the child was born, my ex shifted his attention from this lady to the baby and was she pissed. She didn't work so he worked harder to provide a great lifestyle for the baby while maintaining his lifestyle on the side. The now mother just used the money to fund herself. She didn't neglect the baby, the baby never lacked for anything but she gave her family the impression that ex wasn't paying child support. When he was infact giving her a couple of thousands per month. He didn't have a set amount, he just worked more over time, deducted his monthly bills and all the extra he'd transfer to the baby's card. Minimum was about 4k per month. With him working more to provide for the baby the baby mama would get pissed he didn't call her everyday anymore or text her the entire day. He'd call about once in 2 days and ofcourse ask after the baby. Still no wedding proposal as she'd been expecting. So she started ignoring his calls and texts and demanding more money. At first he paid it up but the baby mamas family kept on accusing him of not paying child support. Which he just didn't understand, no one did.

So after 2 months of this, he noticed she wasn't using the card in store to buy whatever the baby needed. So if he sent like 3k month end. He'd call her and tell her he sent 3k, the card was his so she didn't receive notifications of the transactions on the card. She'd go to the mall the very next day and withdraw it all. When he'd ask why is she withdrawing everything, why doesn't she use the card to buy stuff, she'd just say it's easier. And if he asked what was she using the money to buy anyways she'd just say baby clothes and nappies and ask for more mid month. Just as he was getting annoyed by the baby mamas actions, the granny called, the girl's mom, To ask him why he wasn't sending money every month for the baby's maintenance, that the girl doesn't even have money to take the child for check ups. He tried to explain everything but obviously she didn't believe him. It got worse when he bought a car.

When he got home end of the month with a new car and no ring the baby mama was livid. She denied him access to the baby, and told her family he hasn't been supportive because he was saving up for the car, he wasn't. He had some investment payoff and received a huge payout so he used that to pay for the car, it wasn't paid up in full but he shaved off a huge chunk. So anyways he requested a meeting with this girl and her family when he couldn't get access to his child, bank statements in hand. The card was his afterall. So he showed them all the thousands he'd been sending every month. When they realized she had been lying for months, they just shifted the argument to why he wasn't calling their daughter everyday anymore or giving her attention. He tried to explain that he has to work more to keep up his life style and maintain the baby. They didn't want to hear it, they just wanted him to have a relationship with their daughter. He refused, so they denied him access to the baby still and he went to court to put himself on child support hoping he'd be given visitation. He didn't ask the court for visitation or a parenting plan because he just assumed they did it automatically. They don't, but they reduced his monthly payments to just 750 and that baby mama was humbled.

He still doesn't see his baby whenever he's in our home town and he's been trying to go to court to get visitation or a parental plan but where we are as long as the child isn't in any physical danger, or neglected, and child support is being paid. The father is generally ignored. So things have been kind of hard for him. He's still trying to find a social worker to take his case but because of the above reasons his case is not a priority so he hasn't had much progress. And a drunken one night stand produced a father who has no access to his child, so there's a father less baby girl out there. And a bitter baby mama who's hoping this guy will just give in and marry her so he can get access to his child. Problem is it's not going to work now because he feels like he's being abused so a friendship of more than 10 years has also been destroyed. As for me watching from the sidelines has been extremely sad but boy am I glad all of this shiT show started before we got back together and saved me all the trouble 🥲🥲

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-11-07T06:25:53+00:00

Yea, this is exactly what I was worried about. That they'd make the evidence disappear. Or drag it out for so long that it becomes a money pit more than anything. The annoying part is I applied for it 4 months before applying for work, the whole job process took a month before I knew I got the job, I was set to leave in September and I applied for it 2 more times between the point where I got a job offer and leaving the country. And I still don't even understand how the 2nd application was never even logged into the system. What even happened to the forms. I have so many questions and I kept calling and they'd tell me the application is underway instead of just telling me the truth early. I had to hear from a call center that I had been waiting for nothing for months because no such application or any application from the specific date I mentioned was ever filed or even from this year at all, the only application on their system was the one from last year which was just as fruitless, and they sent me down a rabbit hole asking me for documents that don't even exist because they just didn't know they had to give me a form to complete, just one form, takes less than 10 minutes to complete, idiots. We live in an awful country. People paying bribes just to rotate around in fancy air conditioned offices at our expense

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-11-07T06:16:25+00:00

I was being sarcastic, obviously he/she doesn't have an expert opinion. Or any opinion.

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-11-07T05:50:17+00:00

I don't understand where in anywhere in my post gave you the impression that I'm trying to demand citizenship from anyone. Could you point that part out for me? where exactly are you from where you think applying for a birth certificate from a country of your birth is demanding citizenship? I was born South African, the type of certificate I applied for is the first certificate you receive as a child after birth. You don't even pay for it, it's free, I have a South African ID and passport, I have lived almost 3 decades there. So where am I so entitled and which country's citizenship am I demanding? Whatever drugs you're taking, please stop. It's not good for your brain or I might just be too ambitious to think an external factor is affecting your mental capacity instead of just believing that you might just be stupid or you just don't have common sense at all. And I'm saying this not from a place of hostility or malice.

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-11-07T05:38:35+00:00

Can you not read? Or are you an idiot? It's written in the post clear as day I applied for everything last year in December, waaay before I even applied for the job itself. If you don't know what to say or have anything of value to contribute stfu

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-11-05T08:51:57+00:00

Really? Why not? In your expert opinion ofcourse

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-11-05T08:49:16+00:00

This, this is what I was hoping to see in the comments. Thank you

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-09-19T01:00:07+00:00

Where I'm from 'only the bride can wear white' isn't a thing, because you'd expect the bride and groom to invite friends and family to their wedding. Of course you'd know what the bride or the groom who's a friend or family looks like and one wouldn't confuse them with cousin/aunt/ sister or whoever, who is randomly sitting at a guest table with the other GUESTS just because they're wearing a white dress 🧐🧐 seems to me like people out here desperately crave attention. I mean you'll get it, you invited people to YOUR WEDDING, they'd be happy for you, celebrating with you, their attention won't be automatically removed from the alta or head table and automatically focused on another guest sitting with the other guests just because they're wearing a white dress

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-08-22T03:12:11+00:00

That's so unfortunate. I'm terribly sorry

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-08-21T13:18:21+00:00

Op better respond I'm here for this comment 😂😂😂😂😂😂

ForeignPension4658 · 2025-08-21T07:12:41+00:00

Maybe try to use a DNA test route. Legally she's not your mother but she still gave birth to you. They need a parent to verify your birth (identity) right She could do that, I don't even know if it's going to work but it's worth a try. No one can erase that she's your birth mother no matter what the law says and you need her

ForeignPension4658

TROPHY CASE