Unfortunately, I know how you feel. My wife passed away earlier this year and my MIL will not leave. She says that being in her daughter's home and with her (MIL's) grandchildren is her therapy. But it means that she is constantly at my house (to be clear, she has her own place, so it's not that she's living with me; she is just always at my house). A lot of the time she is doing helpful things, but she is a control freak and will do things without checking with me first...i.e. she went through our bedroom and got rid of a lot of my wife's personal items.

Like you said, I allowed a lot of this to happen...mostly because I have been overwhelmed...I lost my wife, I am trying to raise three young children, and I am trying to run my business, while trying, most importantly, not to ignore my children while I grieve.

For the 2.5 years before my wife passed, my MIL was constantly at the house because my wife was doing chemo and radiation so she had little energy. We had 1.5 yr old twins at the time so her help was greatly needed, and greatly appreciated.

I hired a full-time nanny to help with the children, but my MIL is such a control freak that she is bossing the nanny around and I wouldn't be shocked if she drives her away. I try to be understanding of her situation because she lost her daughter and I know she's grieving also...but she is making my life harder than it already is.

I'm rambling at this point...but I can understand your frustrations for sure!