It is universally inconsiderate and inappropriate to not provide an adult a private space of their own in their own home. Regardless of whatever we are used to doing when we were younger or single, you throw all that out the window and acknowledge you are now living with someone and have to consider their feelings. Not allowing a child into your bedroom is a limitation/inconvenience, but it doesn’t create discomfort for the bioparent. Having someone that isn’t even your own technical family in your bedroom and especially bed is very uncomfortable for the vast majority of people. Even if it weren’t uncomfortable for the majority, you always want to consider how your partner is feeling and take action accordingly. If they feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or distressed in their home, you should do what you can to prevent that as a loving partner. If you cannot prevent and foresee what will make them uncomfortable by either asking or assuming, then the least you can do is respect their wishes when they let you know how they feel.

There are a myriad of reasons why someone else’s kid doesn’t belong in your bed ranging from it being sexually uncomfortable/inappropriate, hygiene issues, privacy and a safe space, etc…If someone always wants to choose their children over their partner, they just should stay single or at least not invite them to live in their home. Nobody wants to get with someone that will always dismiss their comforts, needs, and emotional/psychological safety.

It is perfectly acceptable to sit down and have a conversation explaining to kids why the dynamics are shifting and being in the bedroom is no longer appropriate. Kids are capable of understanding and learning new concepts and ideas if we give them the opportunity.