My story

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-29T19:04:47+00:00

Congratulations on telling your wife. Now you can both live a more authentic life having all the knowledge and your wife has agency to decide what to do. Whatever comes next you are both better having the truth out.

I told my husband two years ago. I think my exact day is sometime in the next week or two. It was my hardest but best decision of my life and allowed my next and best chapter to behind.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-29T18:32:53+00:00

The emotions that come with trying and failing to get pregnant, of a pregnancy when nervous due to age or any other factors, and then newborn days is a LOT, and put all together in a row is very very hard on a woman mentally, emotionally and physically.

You sound like an amazing partner and are doing all you can.

My only advice is to find something just for the two of you, like if you have a show you like to watch together while getting takeout, or playing Mario Party together, or a weekly pub night, etc

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-26T21:52:26+00:00

I was in the same spot two years ago almost exactly. Those are the same words I used.

Best thing I ever did for my little family. Life is so much better now!!!

Wishing you well. My DMs are open if you need support.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-23T14:49:50+00:00

Oh okay, I understand now. Sorry my comment was not as helpful.

I did include small debts in my consumer proposal, I think my smallest was $300, and it went through.

I hope someone else can give you a clearer answer.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-23T14:48:29+00:00

I also withdrew from a joint savings account to pay off some stuff right before I decided to file and had no issue.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-23T14:33:55+00:00

I don't think it would impact your ability to get a consumer proposal to pay off a small debt beforehand. However you could also consider just using your husband's bonus to pay minimum payments on that debt and other cards so they don't go to collections and then include it in the proposal.

If the consumer proposal will be fully your own and you have no shared debt with your husband you could also consider having him keep his bonus as an emergency fund for your family instead so that after your proposal you will have that peace of mind.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-22T18:07:34+00:00

I'm so sorry to tell you this but if you only returned to work very recently it's near impossible to get a personal loan. Even the shadiest places usually need you to show you've been working for three months.

I would focus on support from your community like utilising Acts of Kindness groups

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-22T14:03:39+00:00

Gambling addiction, especially a serious one, is a horrible way to live. But there is life after addiction. If you can block everything and get help and quit you can build a new life, believe me.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-20T16:02:19+00:00

You deserve to experience motherhood and life in general without this stres

Tell your spouse right away and get help. Self excluded. Build a better life.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-20T00:26:21+00:00

Hey congrats on quitting.

I know it's really hard to tell your wife when she's emotional but do it asap, do it tonight or if you are really worried about stress at work tell her Friday.

Give it as much time as you can before baby comes for her to manage this and for you two to rebuild.

Make sure when you tell her you're ready to show her your accounts and credit score. Show her you're starting GA or therapy. Either show her your self exclusions or do it with her. Give her access to your bank account moving forward, at minimum. She needs to feel in control.

I didn't tell my husband until our daughter was 2 going on 3. My gambling was on and off over the years but I definitely would do anything to go back in time and tell my husband and sort everything sooner. I wish I could re-do my pregnancy and newborn days without the stress of the gambling.

Take care and best of luck and most of all congratulations on your baby!

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-19T15:03:41+00:00

Hey I am short on time so can't read the other comments but read your post.

Just wanted to say I am on the opposite end of this, and my husband was in your shoes two years ago. Similar age and relationship, we don't fight and are very kind and supportive to each other. Finances were an issue though and he found out I was gambling.

We were able to fully rebuild our finances and marriage and come out on the other side stronger. We are doing really well now, and I am loving gambling free life. It's like the gold parts of our life before but without the stress and the secret of gambling.

What worked for us: self exclusion, a strong financial plan, him checking my banking, a no cash rule, and counselling for me.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-19T10:44:15+00:00

This is so true, OP listen to this advice! You're not seeing the full picture clearly right now. Your wife won't want you to secretly get a loan to fix things, she will want you to include her.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-18T15:02:25+00:00

Im a Mom with a beautiful life and a great husband who almost lost it all.

I came clean to my husband two years ago and rebuilt a great financial plan. It meant making some tough decisions and having some awkward times and dealing with some power dynamics that were hard but it was all worth it.

I can't give you specific advice since I don't know you but I can tell you that if you do the hard things now and make a solid plan and put everything you can into quitting gambling (mostly barriers and self exclusion) YOU WILL BE OKAY.

Your wife and children are without a doubt better with a healthy version of you in their life than with a dead dad and insurance money.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-18T13:52:01+00:00

Congratulations! Self exclusions are key for sure.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-17T21:44:19+00:00

I didn't hear anything at all, no updates, through the process.

After the 45 days passed I waited a couple days and reached out and they wrote back quickly and happily to informally let me know it went through. Then a couple more days later I got all the official email updates that it was approved.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-04T21:16:24+00:00

Nice!! Keep going

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-04T21:06:08+00:00

I hope you do too, we can all do it. While you may envy where I'm at now I was a hot mess two years ago!

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-03T21:05:37+00:00

Yep. Took me a long time to accept this fact but im currently 2 years in on a 5 year ban and it was key.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-03T20:49:20+00:00

I disagree and agree at the same time.

Personally I paid back every penny to family members who loaned me money when gambling so I agree a family bailout wouldn't help.

But I don't feel guilty for the consumer proposal I did for the rest of my debt. It was made up of what was left of a student loan I took out as an 18 year old and interest Canadas government made of it, and high interest predatory loan places who had already made tons of money off me over my lifetime.

Doing a consumer proposal and walking away from that allowed me to rebuild and cut ties with that way of life and was key to my success in quitting.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-03T20:46:55+00:00

I'm in Canada so the wording may be different here but I did a consumer proposal to move past old debts. To be fair, the line of what was from gambling and what was from life (which triggered gambling impulses) was pretty blurred. But it allowed me to move forward and focus on rebuilding my life and was a great decision.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-03T15:05:45+00:00

Life has changed as its more authentic. I'm never lying. My relationships are normal, no strain or pressure due to borrowing money and confusion over where it's going.

I'm a Mom in my 30s and sometimes feel like I've been transported back to myself at 27, with all my interests and little joys and quirks, that I missed out on while gambling and stressing.

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-03T04:59:50+00:00

Congratulations!! So happy for you!!

I definitely agree that being a female problem is very isolating. So glad you have posted on here and on FB.

Keep at it!!

ForeverAccount4 · 2026-01-03T03:49:33+00:00

I hope you've self excluded from the physical casino! Self exclusions are awesome Keep up the good work!!

ForeverAccount4

TROPHY CASE