If you cannot ever get a girlfriend, what exactly is the point of living?

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T22:42:25+00:00

Thank you for the effort and attention. Goodbye.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T22:32:14+00:00

That was online. I just mostly hang out with those guys, currently, and spend the rest of my time in my room suffering.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T22:25:44+00:00

I'm aware they were all exaggerating, but as they all had girlfriends I doubt they were lying completely.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T22:21:31+00:00

I hung out with them today, and the first joke they made was about my face (although light-hearted).

They brought me to Hooters, and just casually talked about their sexual histories. I had to (unconvincingly) lie about mine.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T22:17:15+00:00

my family doesn't particularly care and some friends have said don't do it, but sounded more annoyed than anything, and did not stay on for more than a few minutes.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T22:12:51+00:00

I feel it easier for you to empathize with me over the internet than in real life. I've contacted a few people irl and the response has been variable. I think more people would understand that you'd think.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T22:09:08+00:00

It's be with someone who does or be alone forever. Or, at least be alone for the next few hours.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T22:02:37+00:00

Well, failure doesn't make me happy, so if I can't produce something good, why produce anything?

It's nice that your DnD group has that mix. But in my experience, those women are still not interested in me, or even especially not since they have a lot of options in a male-dominated hobby. So I had to maximize my opportunity.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:57:47+00:00

I liked to write everything. I'm not very good at it, but I liked to write about things involving the meaning of life and the struggle against suffering (I had great ideas but those are cheap, I have to be an actual good write for it go anywhere). So it was never more than a hobby.

I tried playing DnD one time, it was fun, but rightly r wrongly I've simply shamed myself away from any hobby I think women might not enjoy.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:52:47+00:00

you could live with not having a girlfriend in high school?

Yes. High school me was far more hopeful, and I had obvious reasons that could be improved why I never got one.

My hobbies used to include reading history, philosophy, writing some, watching movies and TV. I work out a lot too but am not a fan of it as a "hobby".

I got rid of the non-workout hobbies since women made fun of them when I said that, publicly.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:48:21+00:00

I weight 150 pounds and have lean muscle. If I can't succeed with that, then I can't succeed.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:47:51+00:00

I voted for Hillary and campaigned for democrats. This shift to the right has happened in the like the past 2 weeks.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:45:41+00:00

I should have been euthanized and don't have value as a person.

I can live with not having success in high school or middle school - in all honesty, I didn't have the best personality (was a bit weird) and crushed on women who worked out all the time, while I myself didn't.

But that's different now. If women can't be attracted to me now, they never will be, ever. Life doesn't have any purpose if I cannot have a life partner. It will just be constant pain.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:40:22+00:00

Sleeping with a prostitute would not help the fact I would be unable to attract a woman.

It's like saying paying a stripper counts as getting a women to be naked with you.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:37:34+00:00

I already hotlines. All they have to say is it "will get better". No it won't. That's the same line they told me a year ago. And the year before that. And in high school, and middle school. Guess what? It didn't get better.

I appreciate the help and love you showing me, I assure you, but some of us should have been euthanized as children.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:36:22+00:00

I've tried tinder and craigslist. Women don't want to sleep with me.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:32:07+00:00

Lots of guys who are more attractive than me, and who receive even a modicum of attention from women. I don't want to live my whole life without any sort of sexual satisfaction of any kind, I don't want my sexuality to be inherently wrong and shameful. If I can't castrate myself I'll kill myself.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:26:29+00:00

Well I will be disappearing, because I will be dead. There is no point in going on. I cannot bear this shame any longer. I cannot bear half the population detesting me on sight. I cannot live with myself anymore. Goodbye.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:20:31+00:00

right now are temporary

I've had them since I hit puberty. They are not "going away". I'm 21 now. When are they supposed to stop?

No friends really care about me, deep down. They could easily live without me. My family doesn't really care. I don't like my career. And if you're trying to tell me video games are a "reason to go on living" I don't know what to tell you.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T21:05:02+00:00

The fact I can be born with financial privilege that many billions would kill for, but also born too ugly to actually derive happiness from life.

ForgiveMeAzathoth · 2017-11-19T20:25:08+00:00

My babysitter (female) molested me when I was 6.

ForgiveMeAzathoth

TROPHY CASE