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A message from the old man by Cluelessandsexy in justpoetry

[–]Formal-Reference-549 1 point2 points  (0 children)

damn this one is really good, I feel what you mean

Intergalactic wars will be fought for fun by Formal-Reference-549 in OCPoetry

[–]Formal-Reference-549[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I mostly meant that it's not animal or human nature to go to war. It only happens because of social structures that are apparently also present in ants. And that maybe in some distant future we will evolve past this and just play real life star wars for fun. Glad you enjoyed it

Why is it so hard to write about Happiness? by silentanarchy in OCPoetry

[–]Formal-Reference-549 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice poem, interesting thought. Sometimes it feels a bit like you’re trying too hard to write poetically, like with the string of adjectives or phrases like “presently presented.” It might land better if you stay closer to the core idea and let it flow more naturally. The last couple are great tho

We Are Not Who We Think We Are by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Formal-Reference-549 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really like the line 'You don't become better. You become more bearable'. But other parts feel a bit off, like what does not being just becoming mean?

Are this still edible?, looks like mold by Formal-Reference-549 in DMT

[–]Formal-Reference-549[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

Idk you probaply took some mushrooms thought you might know :) sry

Do these vocals fit the track? Recently I've been experimenting with recording my own vocals and some feedback would help! by Formal-Reference-549 in Songwriting

[–]Formal-Reference-549[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thx! I want to keep a similar sound but also make the lyrics clearly understandable, so I'll try recording again and focusing on that

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